Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Initial D
(Spoilers alert)
It rocks! Really. Best movie i've watched this year. Didn't even plan to watch it in the first place. But while having brunch before chinese listening shiu hei was talking bout it and how it was good. and somehow he described it in a way that's i started to feel like going. even how he says you can witness jay chou's acting skills start from horribly fake and slowly improving seem attractive. went to jubilee. timing too long after the listening ends. contemplated going aaron's house to watch the pirated vcd version but decided not to cos the quality would probably be downright horrible considering it's a vcd and it must be taped. so went yishun in the end.
dunno how to describe it... but go watch it everyone lol. jay was just so funny throughout the show. so it wasn't really intended at the start where he really looked fake, and the director seemed to be into stopping occasionally at people's expressions for a li'l while. i find it really weird that even though his face is the same almost throughout the show, it seemed to fit in perfectly. i loved the part where he choked on the buns. the female lead seems inexperienced in acting as well and even though their performance isn't good technically it was good. um, crap, i don't know what i'm talking bout. you just gotta see it to believe it. i'm so glad the seat in front of me wasn't occupied. laughed so hard at the scene i can't help bending forward with all the li'l movements, etc. and throughout the show i was kinda giggling lor whenever it wasn't a part bout racing. i love jay's expressions and faces throughout. even the 'obviously with eye-mo on crying look'. haven't had so much fun in the cinemas for a long, long time. and as if that isn't good enough, the two 'old birds' have tons of funny scenes loaded too. and the racing's pretty cool though only one track for the whole movie's got a li'l old at the end. and the love story's a li'l stick on and kinda unconventional ending but makes u think too... i really enjoyed this lor. wouldn't even mind watching it a second time (few movies ever made it into my worth a second look list lor) if not for financial aspects and another whole lot of movies i also wanna catch.
ok, back to real life. physics tml. sian. hadn't planned to study until i was reminded of the e-lecture we were supposed to do during the holidays which i haven't touched at all. e-lectures are gonna be the death of me lor. at tj i still remember the e-lecture on gas law which til now, i still have not accessed. and that is despite feeling all confused except for pv=nRT during tutorials. feng shiu just isn't right at home heh... and now, this... couldn't find the e-lecture at all. got wei long to send me the lecture notes. read through them once. but don't understand half of them even though they're supposed to be largely o level stuff. but i really don't feel like studying anymore. just gotta pray hard for tml i guess.
It rocks! Really. Best movie i've watched this year. Didn't even plan to watch it in the first place. But while having brunch before chinese listening shiu hei was talking bout it and how it was good. and somehow he described it in a way that's i started to feel like going. even how he says you can witness jay chou's acting skills start from horribly fake and slowly improving seem attractive. went to jubilee. timing too long after the listening ends. contemplated going aaron's house to watch the pirated vcd version but decided not to cos the quality would probably be downright horrible considering it's a vcd and it must be taped. so went yishun in the end.
dunno how to describe it... but go watch it everyone lol. jay was just so funny throughout the show. so it wasn't really intended at the start where he really looked fake, and the director seemed to be into stopping occasionally at people's expressions for a li'l while. i find it really weird that even though his face is the same almost throughout the show, it seemed to fit in perfectly. i loved the part where he choked on the buns. the female lead seems inexperienced in acting as well and even though their performance isn't good technically it was good. um, crap, i don't know what i'm talking bout. you just gotta see it to believe it. i'm so glad the seat in front of me wasn't occupied. laughed so hard at the scene i can't help bending forward with all the li'l movements, etc. and throughout the show i was kinda giggling lor whenever it wasn't a part bout racing. i love jay's expressions and faces throughout. even the 'obviously with eye-mo on crying look'. haven't had so much fun in the cinemas for a long, long time. and as if that isn't good enough, the two 'old birds' have tons of funny scenes loaded too. and the racing's pretty cool though only one track for the whole movie's got a li'l old at the end. and the love story's a li'l stick on and kinda unconventional ending but makes u think too... i really enjoyed this lor. wouldn't even mind watching it a second time (few movies ever made it into my worth a second look list lor) if not for financial aspects and another whole lot of movies i also wanna catch.
ok, back to real life. physics tml. sian. hadn't planned to study until i was reminded of the e-lecture we were supposed to do during the holidays which i haven't touched at all. e-lectures are gonna be the death of me lor. at tj i still remember the e-lecture on gas law which til now, i still have not accessed. and that is despite feeling all confused except for pv=nRT during tutorials. feng shiu just isn't right at home heh... and now, this... couldn't find the e-lecture at all. got wei long to send me the lecture notes. read through them once. but don't understand half of them even though they're supposed to be largely o level stuff. but i really don't feel like studying anymore. just gotta pray hard for tml i guess.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Rentals
this always happen. i think bout everything under the sun while travelling and during bedtime and come up with a plethora of things to blog bout and when i'm actually in front of the pc i don't feel like typing them out. but then there's this itch to pour out bout my life like it truly matters and not wanting to let things pass by and be forgotten without penning them down somewhere... guess i should just blog bout the time-specific stuff that happened this entry and not on all those theoretical and philosophical crap.
gp test was, as feared, horrible. bad sign first thing going into the exam hall already: i realised that they don't provide writing paper. how cheapskate. and the people around me all brought just a few sheets of paper and not a whole writing pad. crap. add that to the fact that i was a li'l late in entering the exam hall too... thankfully evelyn three tables away brought her full writing pad.
then lo and behold, the test began. flipped over the qn paper. first qn, i don't have much to write. have an opinion on the second qn (sth bout being competitive or be obselete) but have no reasoning or evidence whatsoever to write an essay. and it continued all the way down... i can't seem to write any of the qns... 5 min gone.... no progress... 10 min gone... i've crossed out 1 qn which i absolutely cannot do but still can't decide between the others all of which i have nothing to write but at least know a li'l bout. 15 min gone... crossed out a 2nd qn, still left with 4 to choose from... 20 min gone... narrowed down to 2 qns, the one bout a good government taking unpopular decisions and animals belong in the wild, not in the zoo. felt like i have more to write bout the animals but of all things pictures of madagascar started swimming in my mind. could remember the scene of the reporter with that newspaper article and alex just woked up from the tranquilizer shot so vividly. animals belong to the wild! lol. so how the hell do you write a convincing, factual essay with an animation film in your mind?! so tried to plan for the government qn, but wrote nothing down after another five minutes. decided to go with madagascar in the end, after 30 minutes of not choosing the qn. thankfully managed to finish essay though ending was rushed and i felt like just beating round one main point throughout the entire essay. but oh well, it's over. on hindsight don't think i did that badly. i hope
rented vcds after that. it's tests time and instead of studying i'm enjoying myself watching movies before the exams. but i felt i just wanted something to destress a li'l. and vcd rental seems like one of the cheapest options. i still got so many movies i wanna catch grr. but the price hike makes it so much tougher. allowed hitchhiker and benji to run out. gonna catch them through downloads, dvds or vcds then... still haven't watched mr and mrs smith and a lot like love. and don't think they'd be around for too long more...
ok, so first got wimbledon. nice li'l sweet, feel-good movie. i was just ready to not think too much bout the tiny details and thoroughly enjoyed it ^^. the feeling of watching someone achieving great things with a girl beside him just never gets old. wanna watch it again lol. but sian, gotta return tml
next was incredibles. the animation was sleek and top class even on vcd. loved it. thinking of getting the dvd with all the special features and better quality. the start was scary though lol. imagine staring at patrick and only patrick for the first fifteen minutes or so in a superhero suit. and after he gets even fatter than he already is. thankfully as the show went on mr incredible somehow looked less and less like him and i got to enjoy the show. lol :P
finally finding neverland. had wanted to catch it in cinemas earlier but as with so many movies i let it slip. and when my dad was asking me what it's bout i realised i don't know except it's sth bout peter pan even though i wanted to catch it. slow start imo. never really dig movies in the olden setting. and didn't really understand until bout 30min or so. but the ending was splendid with parts of the two plays. neverland...
gp test was, as feared, horrible. bad sign first thing going into the exam hall already: i realised that they don't provide writing paper. how cheapskate. and the people around me all brought just a few sheets of paper and not a whole writing pad. crap. add that to the fact that i was a li'l late in entering the exam hall too... thankfully evelyn three tables away brought her full writing pad.
then lo and behold, the test began. flipped over the qn paper. first qn, i don't have much to write. have an opinion on the second qn (sth bout being competitive or be obselete) but have no reasoning or evidence whatsoever to write an essay. and it continued all the way down... i can't seem to write any of the qns... 5 min gone.... no progress... 10 min gone... i've crossed out 1 qn which i absolutely cannot do but still can't decide between the others all of which i have nothing to write but at least know a li'l bout. 15 min gone... crossed out a 2nd qn, still left with 4 to choose from... 20 min gone... narrowed down to 2 qns, the one bout a good government taking unpopular decisions and animals belong in the wild, not in the zoo. felt like i have more to write bout the animals but of all things pictures of madagascar started swimming in my mind. could remember the scene of the reporter with that newspaper article and alex just woked up from the tranquilizer shot so vividly. animals belong to the wild! lol. so how the hell do you write a convincing, factual essay with an animation film in your mind?! so tried to plan for the government qn, but wrote nothing down after another five minutes. decided to go with madagascar in the end, after 30 minutes of not choosing the qn. thankfully managed to finish essay though ending was rushed and i felt like just beating round one main point throughout the entire essay. but oh well, it's over. on hindsight don't think i did that badly. i hope
rented vcds after that. it's tests time and instead of studying i'm enjoying myself watching movies before the exams. but i felt i just wanted something to destress a li'l. and vcd rental seems like one of the cheapest options. i still got so many movies i wanna catch grr. but the price hike makes it so much tougher. allowed hitchhiker and benji to run out. gonna catch them through downloads, dvds or vcds then... still haven't watched mr and mrs smith and a lot like love. and don't think they'd be around for too long more...
ok, so first got wimbledon. nice li'l sweet, feel-good movie. i was just ready to not think too much bout the tiny details and thoroughly enjoyed it ^^. the feeling of watching someone achieving great things with a girl beside him just never gets old. wanna watch it again lol. but sian, gotta return tml
next was incredibles. the animation was sleek and top class even on vcd. loved it. thinking of getting the dvd with all the special features and better quality. the start was scary though lol. imagine staring at patrick and only patrick for the first fifteen minutes or so in a superhero suit. and after he gets even fatter than he already is. thankfully as the show went on mr incredible somehow looked less and less like him and i got to enjoy the show. lol :P
finally finding neverland. had wanted to catch it in cinemas earlier but as with so many movies i let it slip. and when my dad was asking me what it's bout i realised i don't know except it's sth bout peter pan even though i wanted to catch it. slow start imo. never really dig movies in the olden setting. and didn't really understand until bout 30min or so. but the ending was splendid with parts of the two plays. neverland...
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Long, long entry (first aid outing, studying during the weekends, misc...)
oh no, it's eleven thirty already... and i was planning to sleep early today cos mid-yrs start tml. even though i have the luxury of continuing my beauty sleep for two more days cos only have afternoon papers then. but gotta change my sleeping pattern quick. been sleeping at 2+ and waking up after noon the past few days. nowadays i no longer have the long journey to sch to 'sober up' from fatigue or early morning blues. and on the way home i was thinking that i'm just gonna shower, blog and turn in for the night when i return. but once i'm in front of the pc i didn't really feel like blogging and just surfed around.
but decided i should not let whatever i feel like blogging bout pile up. let's see, first aid outing was on friday. at sembawang. afternoon bbq (rolls eyes). was kinda anticipating it earlier on but as the planning started to drag and the outing got postponed again and again kinda lost the enthusiasm. and didn't have high hopes for it after things were still messy on thursday. it was going on and off; people couldn't be contacted; many were reportedly not going, etc.
in the end it became almost like a zh outing lol. or more specifically, my study group's outing. so there were the four of us (chairman, zhenhao and aaron), may ping and three seniors (wei shan, ben and eric)... went sembawang park, this ulu place where there were actually pple there camping and playing in the sea. wasn't earth shattering, but the outing wasn't bad i think. just a simple bbq... had only chicken wings, otah and satay. and for the first time in my life i saw all the food finished in a bbq.
had loads of satay (was doing the bbq-ing most of the time, so too bothersome to have the more 'troublesome' otahs and chicken wings)... was like 'one for me, one for the rest' lol. then with a few left wei shan was distributing the chicken wings and otahs around getting everyone to eat. felt so horrible stuffing so much bbq food. and the only drink left was justea... thirst over taste in the end so drank it pinching my nose. but still the horrible aftertaste of tea. thankfully not strong at all. so that's basically it. think the four of us stuck together too much. should have talked more to may ping and the seniors. but oh well, it's over. at least did have a decent conversation with wei shan and ben bout the handover, clement ong and qi gong, etc... weishan treated icecream in the end ^^. nice!
went pool with aaron and zhen hao after that at causeway point. and like at chalet (crap, i still haven't blogged bout tt... nvm, i WILL do it when the photos are up) wasn't really into groove. i'm starting to get quite comfortable with the cues and basic pocketing so was overconfident so many times and made crappy shots. dunno what's into me when i just immediately go up to the ball and hit it without aiming, etc when it's my turn, thinking it's nothing. turns out nothing went the way i planned. but still won quite a decent number of times cos aaron and zhen hao were having even worse days heh. aaron was like giving me a free ball every turn in one game and i just pocket a ball every time to win it (that's seven lol). and zhen hao was too lucky. he was en route to thrashing me (i have 4 balls left in one game) cos somehow his balls will so lucky find its way to a pocket even on a misshot but ended up pocketing the black ball in the wrong pocket.
had long john after that. bad, bad choice. halfway through the meal i can feel all the unhealthy food churning in my stomach. when i reached home went on a cleansing binch and had whatever fruits i could find. an orange, one big, red, juicy and crunchy Fuji apple, a tasty green one (if only green apples were crunchy...), a banana and a big cup of apple juice (just not with aloe vera. never understand those who drink that. it just tastes too veggie to me... i don't want no veggie in my drinks... always cringe in disgust back in tj where there'd be this senior who orders celery + carrot juice almost every day. eww lol)... so bloated on them after that, but my, i needed that cleansing. i'm thankful i haven't fallen sick despite my unhealthy diet of late...
so sat studied with the gang. nothing much. but was fun studying maths lol. physics and chem took me three days each to go through the notes and make my own but cleared both maths in one day in a sense. wrote out all the topics tested on one piece of paper and proceeded cancelling them out whenever i've finished a particular topic. was so nice. i was like, "ap gp... (proceeds to regurgitate the 5 formulae) done. (crosses ap gp out)... partial fractions... (pauses for a few seconds) done... parametric equations... dy/dx = dy/dt divided by dx/dt... done... MI... what's there to study for MI... done" lol. i seriously hope i won't fail maths and get mocked by aaron and all those single maths students... nothing much that day. borrowed the new bsb album from shiu hei to rip... nice ^^. lol, he was going "do you like bsb? buy their album!" for some time...
oh yeah, was raining quite heavily when i was on the way to lib. was so nice walking in the rain. even though there's an umbrella in my bag. and i could have alighted at amk where there is more shelter on the way. dunno how to describe that feeling... in the rain, music blasted, walking slowly. the whole ambience was so... nice. was wishing it could rain heavier. did not feel as heavy as it looked. lol, i think i was expecting a shower literally. can't imagine what would happen if that really happened. i'm really risking my health so close to the tests eh.
oh, and there is this traffic light between aj and amk lib. and as usual i reached there halfway when there's the green light for the cars parallel to the direction i'm walking. but the pedestrain lights happen to be those where you need to press the button for it to turn green. so as usual again, i jaywalked. but this time i mistimed it. the lights went red before i was done. and the cars going across were starting to move. i was still running towards the end. most of the cars stopped behind me (of course) but one taxi at the far end had started moving. but i was still running across the road. it hadn't accelerated much but it needed to brake. could see it move a li'l sideways in the puddle of rainwater. no horns but think a few drivers were pretty angry (they must be. well, i didn't look cos i don't like raising my head in rain and don't wanna have the chance to see them angry)... i think i'm sadistic but somehow that feeling was good. it's no longer that mood walking in the rain. it's another feeling. the me-against-the-world feeling. that everyone's against you. and somehow i revelled in that. being the underdogs. odds stacked. tables turned against you. i like that setting. the only time when i can just go all out without feeling restrained by anything... it feels weird saying this... i feel a lot of times i always fall short of aims because i don't give everything i have. it's like basketball when once i wondered why i've been so lucky to avoid any injuries ('cept for a stubbed finger or two) in bout 3 years and i came to the conclusion that i did not throw in everything during training. and i've realised the only times i've done that is when i felt it's everyone against me. no one to bank on, just me, myself and i. can only recall twice i did that, but oh well, they're long stories i don't really feel like blogging. at least for now. once in a while i like being the bad guy. just so i no longer need to bear the weight of all the responsibilities, commitments, etc. i'm the villian here so i can do whatever i will... at least i'm back to normal now ^^. lol. not very often i get swept away by that feeling
so on to today. woke up at 11.30 surprisingly. it's an improvement ^^. mom wanted me to go causeway point with family to get new shoes (i've been holding that off for so long til the point i used the excuse that i dunno how to pick the correct ones heh. so now that dad is free before he goes to work in the afternoon and i'm not out somewhere i had to go)... lol, i like my new shoes. got a new bag too. had wanted to get a few new shirts and pants too (shopping with parents = more budget lol) but there were just sooooo many people. had pastamania for lunch. nice! shared a pizza with sis (why must lasagna be more expensive than pasta and pizza =( ) and 'couped' some of mom's pasta before she proceeded to add tobasco sauce. she added so much... scary... and still said it wasn't hot. i dunno when tobasco sauce had this image of being incredibly spicy even though i haven't tasted it. and even though most pple i know have not tasted it before and it seems common knowledge that it is really spicy...
studied with ash after that. just went through some of the stuff. realised i'm not really fully prepared for the tests. but oh well. i just wanna get through them. don't really feel a burning desire to ace them. just hope to do well enough. let's see, they always talk bout target setting... hmm, target...
both maths: a
both sciences: b
gp: b3
chinese: c6
only dawned that today's the last day of the holidays just now... so weird... and soon it'd be back to mindless rushing of tutorials after tiring lectures and tutorials, never catching up with more work piling up each day, screaming for the arrival of holidays which will eventually turn out to be another false requiem and it is still undone. and amidst all this, i'd probably not being seeing some of my old friends anymore... sigh...
it's just me that i'm quiet most of the time. too quiet sometimes when i should be talking more even if it's just some idle banter. sometimes it's really i have nothing to say. but other times i fell that it's cos of this innate filtering system which i just realised today. i would feel like talking bout something but it goes through that filter, gets deemed 'boring', 'not interesting', 'offensive', 'insensitive', 'jargon' and i'll decide to keep mum. and sometimes when the system lags and i realise what i'm saying is sleep-inducing halfway while talking i'd just tail off in a mumble, slur my words and eventually stop. maybe i shouldn't care so much and just talk.
and had one of those moments on the train again, thinking of what i could have done after something had happened. why do i never come up with the good ideas (not that i had a good one today, but oh well) on the spot. still remember back in primary school i always had these moments in the shower after sch and think to myself 'crap, i could have done this, this, this, said that, that, that. would have been so cool/nice/blah, blah, blah... oh well
think i'm setting up a private blog... nowadays it seems like i have quite some R-rated stuff to blog bout. no lah, but just things which might not be appropriate for others to read cos it may be hurting, insensitive, etc. some of the stuff directed at pple whom i don't even know reads this blog or not but i think it's not very nice either. had the same urge a few months back but kinda petered off (cos the name i wanted was taken lol. and that for a private blog). sometimes it feels kinda nice knowing that pple are reading ur blog. then there are times u just want a secret diary to pen down the most inner thoughts that u don't want others to know. guess i'm not open enough...
wow, i've typed so much today... good practice for gp tml i hope, though this's not in perfect english. but still i'm putting my thoughts down into words... haven't written an essay since the test how many weeks (or months) ago. and haven't been reading newspapers except headlines during the holidays. in fact haven't been reading much other then notes recently. hope still have enough general knowlege and phrasing ability for tml. wonder if i'd even know anything bout the topics that are raised by the questions, much less feel strongly about. oh gasp, just realised it's not tml anymore. gp exam's today technically. i took more than an hour to blog this... wow, really preparation for the test. hope it's readable and there's a flow cos there are so many times i realised i missed out sth i wanna blog bout halfway through and went to add the part sandwiched between what i thought were the appropriate paragraphs before continuing. i've been droning on long enough then. good night folks if you're reading this at night. and good luck to your tests if you have them, and good luck to me too (lol, suddenly remember the time where i replied to 'good luck' wishes from others with 'i don't believe in good luck'... sounds quite cool eh. kinda silly too heh)
EDIT: Just realised this wasn't so 'long, long, long' after scanning through some of the previous entries. guess i haven't blogged that frequently nowadays so entries this length seem really long. oh well, i'm off then. gotta fulfil my promise of sleeping after bloggin"
but decided i should not let whatever i feel like blogging bout pile up. let's see, first aid outing was on friday. at sembawang. afternoon bbq (rolls eyes). was kinda anticipating it earlier on but as the planning started to drag and the outing got postponed again and again kinda lost the enthusiasm. and didn't have high hopes for it after things were still messy on thursday. it was going on and off; people couldn't be contacted; many were reportedly not going, etc.
in the end it became almost like a zh outing lol. or more specifically, my study group's outing. so there were the four of us (chairman, zhenhao and aaron), may ping and three seniors (wei shan, ben and eric)... went sembawang park, this ulu place where there were actually pple there camping and playing in the sea. wasn't earth shattering, but the outing wasn't bad i think. just a simple bbq... had only chicken wings, otah and satay. and for the first time in my life i saw all the food finished in a bbq.
had loads of satay (was doing the bbq-ing most of the time, so too bothersome to have the more 'troublesome' otahs and chicken wings)... was like 'one for me, one for the rest' lol. then with a few left wei shan was distributing the chicken wings and otahs around getting everyone to eat. felt so horrible stuffing so much bbq food. and the only drink left was justea... thirst over taste in the end so drank it pinching my nose. but still the horrible aftertaste of tea. thankfully not strong at all. so that's basically it. think the four of us stuck together too much. should have talked more to may ping and the seniors. but oh well, it's over. at least did have a decent conversation with wei shan and ben bout the handover, clement ong and qi gong, etc... weishan treated icecream in the end ^^. nice!
went pool with aaron and zhen hao after that at causeway point. and like at chalet (crap, i still haven't blogged bout tt... nvm, i WILL do it when the photos are up) wasn't really into groove. i'm starting to get quite comfortable with the cues and basic pocketing so was overconfident so many times and made crappy shots. dunno what's into me when i just immediately go up to the ball and hit it without aiming, etc when it's my turn, thinking it's nothing. turns out nothing went the way i planned. but still won quite a decent number of times cos aaron and zhen hao were having even worse days heh. aaron was like giving me a free ball every turn in one game and i just pocket a ball every time to win it (that's seven lol). and zhen hao was too lucky. he was en route to thrashing me (i have 4 balls left in one game) cos somehow his balls will so lucky find its way to a pocket even on a misshot but ended up pocketing the black ball in the wrong pocket.
had long john after that. bad, bad choice. halfway through the meal i can feel all the unhealthy food churning in my stomach. when i reached home went on a cleansing binch and had whatever fruits i could find. an orange, one big, red, juicy and crunchy Fuji apple, a tasty green one (if only green apples were crunchy...), a banana and a big cup of apple juice (just not with aloe vera. never understand those who drink that. it just tastes too veggie to me... i don't want no veggie in my drinks... always cringe in disgust back in tj where there'd be this senior who orders celery + carrot juice almost every day. eww lol)... so bloated on them after that, but my, i needed that cleansing. i'm thankful i haven't fallen sick despite my unhealthy diet of late...
so sat studied with the gang. nothing much. but was fun studying maths lol. physics and chem took me three days each to go through the notes and make my own but cleared both maths in one day in a sense. wrote out all the topics tested on one piece of paper and proceeded cancelling them out whenever i've finished a particular topic. was so nice. i was like, "ap gp... (proceeds to regurgitate the 5 formulae) done. (crosses ap gp out)... partial fractions... (pauses for a few seconds) done... parametric equations... dy/dx = dy/dt divided by dx/dt... done... MI... what's there to study for MI... done" lol. i seriously hope i won't fail maths and get mocked by aaron and all those single maths students... nothing much that day. borrowed the new bsb album from shiu hei to rip... nice ^^. lol, he was going "do you like bsb? buy their album!" for some time...
oh yeah, was raining quite heavily when i was on the way to lib. was so nice walking in the rain. even though there's an umbrella in my bag. and i could have alighted at amk where there is more shelter on the way. dunno how to describe that feeling... in the rain, music blasted, walking slowly. the whole ambience was so... nice. was wishing it could rain heavier. did not feel as heavy as it looked. lol, i think i was expecting a shower literally. can't imagine what would happen if that really happened. i'm really risking my health so close to the tests eh.
oh, and there is this traffic light between aj and amk lib. and as usual i reached there halfway when there's the green light for the cars parallel to the direction i'm walking. but the pedestrain lights happen to be those where you need to press the button for it to turn green. so as usual again, i jaywalked. but this time i mistimed it. the lights went red before i was done. and the cars going across were starting to move. i was still running towards the end. most of the cars stopped behind me (of course) but one taxi at the far end had started moving. but i was still running across the road. it hadn't accelerated much but it needed to brake. could see it move a li'l sideways in the puddle of rainwater. no horns but think a few drivers were pretty angry (they must be. well, i didn't look cos i don't like raising my head in rain and don't wanna have the chance to see them angry)... i think i'm sadistic but somehow that feeling was good. it's no longer that mood walking in the rain. it's another feeling. the me-against-the-world feeling. that everyone's against you. and somehow i revelled in that. being the underdogs. odds stacked. tables turned against you. i like that setting. the only time when i can just go all out without feeling restrained by anything... it feels weird saying this... i feel a lot of times i always fall short of aims because i don't give everything i have. it's like basketball when once i wondered why i've been so lucky to avoid any injuries ('cept for a stubbed finger or two) in bout 3 years and i came to the conclusion that i did not throw in everything during training. and i've realised the only times i've done that is when i felt it's everyone against me. no one to bank on, just me, myself and i. can only recall twice i did that, but oh well, they're long stories i don't really feel like blogging. at least for now. once in a while i like being the bad guy. just so i no longer need to bear the weight of all the responsibilities, commitments, etc. i'm the villian here so i can do whatever i will... at least i'm back to normal now ^^. lol. not very often i get swept away by that feeling
so on to today. woke up at 11.30 surprisingly. it's an improvement ^^. mom wanted me to go causeway point with family to get new shoes (i've been holding that off for so long til the point i used the excuse that i dunno how to pick the correct ones heh. so now that dad is free before he goes to work in the afternoon and i'm not out somewhere i had to go)... lol, i like my new shoes. got a new bag too. had wanted to get a few new shirts and pants too (shopping with parents = more budget lol) but there were just sooooo many people. had pastamania for lunch. nice! shared a pizza with sis (why must lasagna be more expensive than pasta and pizza =( ) and 'couped' some of mom's pasta before she proceeded to add tobasco sauce. she added so much... scary... and still said it wasn't hot. i dunno when tobasco sauce had this image of being incredibly spicy even though i haven't tasted it. and even though most pple i know have not tasted it before and it seems common knowledge that it is really spicy...
studied with ash after that. just went through some of the stuff. realised i'm not really fully prepared for the tests. but oh well. i just wanna get through them. don't really feel a burning desire to ace them. just hope to do well enough. let's see, they always talk bout target setting... hmm, target...
both maths: a
both sciences: b
gp: b3
chinese: c6
only dawned that today's the last day of the holidays just now... so weird... and soon it'd be back to mindless rushing of tutorials after tiring lectures and tutorials, never catching up with more work piling up each day, screaming for the arrival of holidays which will eventually turn out to be another false requiem and it is still undone. and amidst all this, i'd probably not being seeing some of my old friends anymore... sigh...
it's just me that i'm quiet most of the time. too quiet sometimes when i should be talking more even if it's just some idle banter. sometimes it's really i have nothing to say. but other times i fell that it's cos of this innate filtering system which i just realised today. i would feel like talking bout something but it goes through that filter, gets deemed 'boring', 'not interesting', 'offensive', 'insensitive', 'jargon' and i'll decide to keep mum. and sometimes when the system lags and i realise what i'm saying is sleep-inducing halfway while talking i'd just tail off in a mumble, slur my words and eventually stop. maybe i shouldn't care so much and just talk.
and had one of those moments on the train again, thinking of what i could have done after something had happened. why do i never come up with the good ideas (not that i had a good one today, but oh well) on the spot. still remember back in primary school i always had these moments in the shower after sch and think to myself 'crap, i could have done this, this, this, said that, that, that. would have been so cool/nice/blah, blah, blah... oh well
think i'm setting up a private blog... nowadays it seems like i have quite some R-rated stuff to blog bout. no lah, but just things which might not be appropriate for others to read cos it may be hurting, insensitive, etc. some of the stuff directed at pple whom i don't even know reads this blog or not but i think it's not very nice either. had the same urge a few months back but kinda petered off (cos the name i wanted was taken lol. and that for a private blog). sometimes it feels kinda nice knowing that pple are reading ur blog. then there are times u just want a secret diary to pen down the most inner thoughts that u don't want others to know. guess i'm not open enough...
wow, i've typed so much today... good practice for gp tml i hope, though this's not in perfect english. but still i'm putting my thoughts down into words... haven't written an essay since the test how many weeks (or months) ago. and haven't been reading newspapers except headlines during the holidays. in fact haven't been reading much other then notes recently. hope still have enough general knowlege and phrasing ability for tml. wonder if i'd even know anything bout the topics that are raised by the questions, much less feel strongly about. oh gasp, just realised it's not tml anymore. gp exam's today technically. i took more than an hour to blog this... wow, really preparation for the test. hope it's readable and there's a flow cos there are so many times i realised i missed out sth i wanna blog bout halfway through and went to add the part sandwiched between what i thought were the appropriate paragraphs before continuing. i've been droning on long enough then. good night folks if you're reading this at night. and good luck to your tests if you have them, and good luck to me too (lol, suddenly remember the time where i replied to 'good luck' wishes from others with 'i don't believe in good luck'... sounds quite cool eh. kinda silly too heh)
EDIT: Just realised this wasn't so 'long, long, long' after scanning through some of the previous entries. guess i haven't blogged that frequently nowadays so entries this length seem really long. oh well, i'm off then. gotta fulfil my promise of sleeping after bloggin"
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Shake it
k, yesterday went to some airbase as part of temasek seminar thingy... waste of time as usual... some unmanned aircraft stuff with so many people asking to sign up. only fun part was the simulator (oh, and the refreshments)... quite weird driving in third person view... one moment right means left on the screen and the next it's the right way again... quite fun, but it's like all i did was follow his idiot-proof instructions... so cool how he managed to save the plane from crashing everytime i made a mistake. lol, all the talk bout 'born natural' and 'you have talent' to get me to sign up heh.
so to today. went lib study as usual (come to think of it, not really usual... i've not gone there regularly for some time, but oh well)... it was just horrible and horrible. dunno why today my hand was shaking quite badly... it's already pretty bad on most days, and today... i didn't even do any strenous activities lately. now holding a pen's a challenging task already. and was struggling to write legibly.. need to either use two or three lines for my letters or slur everything up in one pile of horrid turd. so freaking frustrating... and was concentrating more in making the letters clear than actually understanding and remembering the stuff.
in the end turned to just reading. much better, got what i set out to do done. but keep thinking i missed something. left at 4+ when i started at 2+. not even 2h. last week i remembered i was planning to study til 7. then ended up leaving at 5+. then today planned for 6... my determination's just so horrible. was so stressed out and irritated at my shaking hands that i stopped and rested for a while at that time. then the staff there asked me to get something... sian, so left.
still feeling horrible then. it's like you just can't control a part of your body... i've always joked that i'd get parkinson's when i grow old (if i do, that is), now it's really looking like reality... this is bad... really hope this won't continue til monday. can't imagine writing an essay for gp with hands shaking all over. i already felt like slamming my pen at the lib writing less than 2 pages of brief notes... can't imagine having to go through that pain writing an entire essay...
decided to go watch madagascar after that to cheer up after that. think it managed to work ^^. felt weird talking bout how frustrated i was heh. the penguins are so cute! have an affinity for penguins after todd and penguin, and my... wasn't as funny as i'd like it to be, the movie, but still nice and good for a few chuckles here and there.
women sure have it good lol. can always blame mood swings on pms. i really shouldn't be irked by a li'l thing like the inability to stop my hands from shaking... grr.. saw this on benjamin's blog (first aid senior)... hope he don't mind me stealing bandwidth...
think it was from teenage magazine or something in relation to my boyfriend is type b... hmm...
so to today. went lib study as usual (come to think of it, not really usual... i've not gone there regularly for some time, but oh well)... it was just horrible and horrible. dunno why today my hand was shaking quite badly... it's already pretty bad on most days, and today... i didn't even do any strenous activities lately. now holding a pen's a challenging task already. and was struggling to write legibly.. need to either use two or three lines for my letters or slur everything up in one pile of horrid turd. so freaking frustrating... and was concentrating more in making the letters clear than actually understanding and remembering the stuff.
in the end turned to just reading. much better, got what i set out to do done. but keep thinking i missed something. left at 4+ when i started at 2+. not even 2h. last week i remembered i was planning to study til 7. then ended up leaving at 5+. then today planned for 6... my determination's just so horrible. was so stressed out and irritated at my shaking hands that i stopped and rested for a while at that time. then the staff there asked me to get something... sian, so left.
still feeling horrible then. it's like you just can't control a part of your body... i've always joked that i'd get parkinson's when i grow old (if i do, that is), now it's really looking like reality... this is bad... really hope this won't continue til monday. can't imagine writing an essay for gp with hands shaking all over. i already felt like slamming my pen at the lib writing less than 2 pages of brief notes... can't imagine having to go through that pain writing an entire essay...
decided to go watch madagascar after that to cheer up after that. think it managed to work ^^. felt weird talking bout how frustrated i was heh. the penguins are so cute! have an affinity for penguins after todd and penguin, and my... wasn't as funny as i'd like it to be, the movie, but still nice and good for a few chuckles here and there.
women sure have it good lol. can always blame mood swings on pms. i really shouldn't be irked by a li'l thing like the inability to stop my hands from shaking... grr.. saw this on benjamin's blog (first aid senior)... hope he don't mind me stealing bandwidth...
think it was from teenage magazine or something in relation to my boyfriend is type b... hmm...
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Back
just back from 04 chalet. loads to blog bout. but dead tired. guess i'd blog tml or someday later. or maybe when hinho has the photos uploaded. just wanted to blog bout today all of a sudden.
so ash asked me whether i wanted to study together yesterday. agreed thinking that it's a good thing cos at least i will then be 'forced' to sit down and actually study a li'l. don't think can afford to really pack 3 subjects in 3 days. plan was 2.30, got home at bout 1.40. onto my good ol' bed i went and never felt like getting up after that. was late for an entire hour... oh well. lib had no seats... grr... so went mos burger. milk shake was not available... grr... i always digress so much...
couldn't get much down. really ineffective. guess i shouldn't have went out. i think a good nap attack is what i need more. was so not concentrating... that leaves me with still the same equation, 3 subjects, 3 days. this is really bad.
temasek seminar stuff tml, so can't study. don't feel like going at all. even worse now that candy managed to get sick and skip it. terence will probably be with hongyi all the time or sth. don't really know justin. and don't really want to think bout the rest. they are people who actually bothered bout some stupid 'tagline' thingy, thinking of them and calling people out to discuss bout it. oh well, at least these people meant that all we needed to do for that was to vote. hope i'd fall sick from all the 'exertions' in chalet
well, went play lan with patrick and junio later. was absolutely horrible. but when am i not crappy anyway... dunno why but just gradually melancholy set in at night. maybe it's the realisation tt real life is back and it's no longer the comfort zone with familiar people around all the time and nothing pressing. but that don't feels like it hit the target spot on. i wonder why i felt so.
but that kinda brings me to realise that what i'm searching for in life, at least for now, is a life of balance. some people lead a life for achivement and success, some pride it in values, some seek thrill, fun and enjoyment, others a hot, passionate love. i want to be happy, but i don't need to be too happy. i want to do things well, but excelling is not really necessary. well, most of the time anyway. and i'm willing to strive to get this fair bit of everything. not less than required, no need for excess, just enough... libra scales i guess?
still the dour mask of air all over. thought of a conversation with ernest during the chalet while going to the arcade
me: it was so close
ernest: everyone says that
m: maybe it's just me i guess, but it was just so.... intense then
e: have you (blah, blah, blah)
m: yes, no, no, blah, blah
m: but it's like, the whole world just revolved (blah, blah... ugh, i'm just too lazy to type everything. when has this seemingly short conversation become so long...)
and it goes on. guess no one can understand what i'm typing here. huiping was going 'huh? you talking bout that again ar. ugh, never understand what exactly y'all saying' or sth like that. but just want to type it down when i wanna reminisce and reexperience the feelings etc. but now that i'm trying to think bout it from a more objective viewpoint, i guess it's just me. and how everyone likes to convince themselves that it's all within reach. it's more convincing telling yourself that all that's failed was a stupid goof on your part rather than the whole situation being impossible for you right from the start. i guess it's like saying to yourself you're not that bad and everything is reachable if not for that mistake. if you can prevent it from happening again things will be good come next attempt. hmm, i wonder...
music and sleep's what i need during these times... had them on the bus and train back home. and love my ipod. shuffle always chooses the right songs to go with the mood lol. used to not like other pple putting lyrics in their blogs cos it just don't seem smooth reading like that. but now been downloading the song themselves and listening while looking at them. but heck with whatever, i'd just put a few lines
Perfect/Simple Plan
---
Hey Dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according
To plan?
Do you think I’m wasting
My time doing things I
Wanna do?
But it hurts when you
Disapprove all along
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I’m never gonna be good
Enough for you
I can’t pretend that
I’m alright
And you can’t change me
‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be
My hero?
All the days
You spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don’t
Care anymore
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I’m never gonna be good
Enough for you
I can’t stand another fight
And nothing’ alright
‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Nothing’s gonna change
The things that you said
Nothing’s gonna make this
Right again
Please don’t turn your back
I can’t believe it’s hard
Just to talk to you
But you don’t understand
‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Really like this song. maybe it'd be the next background music. doesn't just apply to 'dad' imo... so appropriate for so many experiences...
Someday/Nickelback
---
How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables
I wish you'd unclench your fists
And unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
Dont think its too late
Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
Well i hoped that since we're here anyway
We could end up saying
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up stringing
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a hollywood horror
Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a hollywood horror
Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when
so ash asked me whether i wanted to study together yesterday. agreed thinking that it's a good thing cos at least i will then be 'forced' to sit down and actually study a li'l. don't think can afford to really pack 3 subjects in 3 days. plan was 2.30, got home at bout 1.40. onto my good ol' bed i went and never felt like getting up after that. was late for an entire hour... oh well. lib had no seats... grr... so went mos burger. milk shake was not available... grr... i always digress so much...
couldn't get much down. really ineffective. guess i shouldn't have went out. i think a good nap attack is what i need more. was so not concentrating... that leaves me with still the same equation, 3 subjects, 3 days. this is really bad.
temasek seminar stuff tml, so can't study. don't feel like going at all. even worse now that candy managed to get sick and skip it. terence will probably be with hongyi all the time or sth. don't really know justin. and don't really want to think bout the rest. they are people who actually bothered bout some stupid 'tagline' thingy, thinking of them and calling people out to discuss bout it. oh well, at least these people meant that all we needed to do for that was to vote. hope i'd fall sick from all the 'exertions' in chalet
well, went play lan with patrick and junio later. was absolutely horrible. but when am i not crappy anyway... dunno why but just gradually melancholy set in at night. maybe it's the realisation tt real life is back and it's no longer the comfort zone with familiar people around all the time and nothing pressing. but that don't feels like it hit the target spot on. i wonder why i felt so.
but that kinda brings me to realise that what i'm searching for in life, at least for now, is a life of balance. some people lead a life for achivement and success, some pride it in values, some seek thrill, fun and enjoyment, others a hot, passionate love. i want to be happy, but i don't need to be too happy. i want to do things well, but excelling is not really necessary. well, most of the time anyway. and i'm willing to strive to get this fair bit of everything. not less than required, no need for excess, just enough... libra scales i guess?
still the dour mask of air all over. thought of a conversation with ernest during the chalet while going to the arcade
me: it was so close
ernest: everyone says that
m: maybe it's just me i guess, but it was just so.... intense then
e: have you (blah, blah, blah)
m: yes, no, no, blah, blah
m: but it's like, the whole world just revolved (blah, blah... ugh, i'm just too lazy to type everything. when has this seemingly short conversation become so long...)
and it goes on. guess no one can understand what i'm typing here. huiping was going 'huh? you talking bout that again ar. ugh, never understand what exactly y'all saying' or sth like that. but just want to type it down when i wanna reminisce and reexperience the feelings etc. but now that i'm trying to think bout it from a more objective viewpoint, i guess it's just me. and how everyone likes to convince themselves that it's all within reach. it's more convincing telling yourself that all that's failed was a stupid goof on your part rather than the whole situation being impossible for you right from the start. i guess it's like saying to yourself you're not that bad and everything is reachable if not for that mistake. if you can prevent it from happening again things will be good come next attempt. hmm, i wonder...
music and sleep's what i need during these times... had them on the bus and train back home. and love my ipod. shuffle always chooses the right songs to go with the mood lol. used to not like other pple putting lyrics in their blogs cos it just don't seem smooth reading like that. but now been downloading the song themselves and listening while looking at them. but heck with whatever, i'd just put a few lines
Perfect/Simple Plan
---
Hey Dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according
To plan?
Do you think I’m wasting
My time doing things I
Wanna do?
But it hurts when you
Disapprove all along
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I’m never gonna be good
Enough for you
I can’t pretend that
I’m alright
And you can’t change me
‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be
My hero?
All the days
You spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don’t
Care anymore
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I’m never gonna be good
Enough for you
I can’t stand another fight
And nothing’ alright
‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Nothing’s gonna change
The things that you said
Nothing’s gonna make this
Right again
Please don’t turn your back
I can’t believe it’s hard
Just to talk to you
But you don’t understand
‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Really like this song. maybe it'd be the next background music. doesn't just apply to 'dad' imo... so appropriate for so many experiences...
Someday/Nickelback
---
How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables
I wish you'd unclench your fists
And unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
Dont think its too late
Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
Well i hoped that since we're here anyway
We could end up saying
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up stringing
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a hollywood horror
Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a hollywood horror
Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Crap, junk and all the bull that have been building up
[WARNING:
Dear blog readers
just skip this entry. just full of crap, rants and rave about just-bout-anything that happened to me recently in the best sleep-inducing monotone description as i can use. Avoid at all costs except when suffering insomnia
Regards,
The Managment]
(AtrriSet: Humor=0) (Note: i'm just in one of those moods where i try to be funny. prepare to roll your eyes a thousand times over)
Financial management... grr... to think i was the class treasurer. and i was actually playing this up during the first aid exco interview though i'm running for presidency, not for the treasurer spot. and just two days into the week i'm over my week's allowance... bah. and i still haven't watched all the movies i've set out to. hope madagascar's not over come next week. hitchhiker too... mr and mrs smith gotta wait for a while i guess... wonder how long benji will screen. think i'd leave monster-in-law to dvds/vcds/downloads
so it all happened on fateful monday. decided to start my studying one week early from planned cos the last week seemed to be real packed, what with 04 chalet, temasek seminar and first aid outing... but before i headed off to amk lib (i love how aj's close to it... just pick everything up at the lockers and throw them back in when i'm done)
decided to have a li'l fun in the arcades. plan was to spend five bucks but they had this offer where you'd get 11 credits for 10. so thought of investing the ten bucks and coming back next week. shoulda known i would have spent all of them... and on arcades, can't other people just give newbies some space... was waiting for some time before the maximum tune machine was free. all was clear until i started the game and all of a sudden a whole bunch of other people were bunching up behind the machines. then staring at how crappy i am so they weren't rude or anything, and one actually offered to help me clear one stage when i was losing but being the self-conscious typical singaporean... it was already so tough concentrating, telling myself the gear is on the left and i'm even more distracted cos of that... grr, wonder whether the americans or everyone else are the ones who have nothing better to do and come up with the right-side/left-side drive system... i want my left hand on the wheel. maybe i should just make myself look like a dumb weirdo and drive with my hands crossed.. but oh well, i digress.
so proceeded to study. surprisingly i managed to avoid the temptation of the brownies, wedges and other pastry/finger food. but the beverage card costs 10+.
after i was done, felt like bowling. went grassroots. again, me and my plans... thought of playing two games. somehow my hook came back this time. so used the entire of the first game to adjust my lines... still can't get my hook strong enough to start from the center, but oh well... played decent on the second game, 140+ but kept getting brooklyns so decided to go for a third... working on my consistency in hitting the pocket and clearing leaves now... aiming for a 200, or somewhere around there before i request for a ball from my dad. playing in evening leagues when i get older has been one of my on-off targets. so the third game, and fourth, and fifth... self discipline indeed. and i was deluding myself with the thought that i'm saving on the shoe rental by playing more games at a go and coming once a week instead of twice which i was planning to... (and on that, i should really get my pair of shoes... have wasted so much on rentals).
and continuing the mood of crapping and ranting for this entry, i think i played decent. at least an 8 on every frame... and closed around 5, which isn't bad i suppose but i really need to work on stringing the strikes and spares... dunno what's with the bowling mania recently. only two years ago or so i decided to forgo bowling seriously cos i didn't seem to be improving enough and was wasting too much money being unhappy with myself. but now the craze's back i guess. current plan's to bowl once a week (more if i can afford it lol) and work on consistency... upgraded to 14 pound recently.. i like the balance, but it gets real tiring on the fingers if i'm playing by myself without pacing... and i can go on and on and on...
so i am left with bout 10 bucks for the rest of the week. thought it was alright if i control myself and limit my spending to only important meals... but then my love for snacks always gets the better of me. and ash got us out for dota... i wonder if i can get enough money for the chalet. would probably be bowling lots if hinho and i can infuse the craze into the group heh...
still with me? today i just feel like typing and typing and not stopping bout my life. like every li'l action of mine is so important and people actually care. did a count yesterday with aaron... i have only 6 days left to study what with everything going on. and considering i still have a sizeable chunk of stuff uncompleted from before the holidays i have like a day for every topic. maybe 2 if i count the day right before the exam itself... oh no. and holidays are as good as over now i guess. bout an hour of leisure or less after waking up and it's off to study. then upon reaching home it's bout dinner time. only difference is my mom only nags at my late sleeping when it's 2 instead of when it's 11 during school days i think...
recently not so hyped up bout the chalet anymore... 3 days, wonder what we'd do there. as nice as i think the class is it's still some way away from e1. and while i feel quite comfortable with almost everyone it still feels a li'l different. it's like at the e1 chalet i could just lie down at one corner and relax. the guitars, singing, cards, mahjong and whatnot just seemed to blend in perfect harmony and i'm part of it. still not very close with anyone in particular in 04. at tj can still sit down with yi chao and talk for ages bout everything under the sun. though we did not attend any one of the cg outings heh. but guess it just takes time. hope there would be 3 other mahjong junkies. the class's obsession with board games is quite fun but it can get boring quite easily. and it's already a fact that only 1 in 1258796 people appreciate and play the same video games as i do, so tt's out i guess. don't think i'd lug my gamecube as much as i love multiplayer games on them.
k, enough ranting for today i guess... perhaps i should give sleeping earlier a try...
Dear blog readers
just skip this entry. just full of crap, rants and rave about just-bout-anything that happened to me recently in the best sleep-inducing monotone description as i can use. Avoid at all costs except when suffering insomnia
Regards,
The Managment]
(AtrriSet: Humor=0) (Note: i'm just in one of those moods where i try to be funny. prepare to roll your eyes a thousand times over)
Financial management... grr... to think i was the class treasurer. and i was actually playing this up during the first aid exco interview though i'm running for presidency, not for the treasurer spot. and just two days into the week i'm over my week's allowance... bah. and i still haven't watched all the movies i've set out to. hope madagascar's not over come next week. hitchhiker too... mr and mrs smith gotta wait for a while i guess... wonder how long benji will screen. think i'd leave monster-in-law to dvds/vcds/downloads
so it all happened on fateful monday. decided to start my studying one week early from planned cos the last week seemed to be real packed, what with 04 chalet, temasek seminar and first aid outing... but before i headed off to amk lib (i love how aj's close to it... just pick everything up at the lockers and throw them back in when i'm done)
decided to have a li'l fun in the arcades. plan was to spend five bucks but they had this offer where you'd get 11 credits for 10. so thought of investing the ten bucks and coming back next week. shoulda known i would have spent all of them... and on arcades, can't other people just give newbies some space... was waiting for some time before the maximum tune machine was free. all was clear until i started the game and all of a sudden a whole bunch of other people were bunching up behind the machines. then staring at how crappy i am so they weren't rude or anything, and one actually offered to help me clear one stage when i was losing but being the self-conscious typical singaporean... it was already so tough concentrating, telling myself the gear is on the left and i'm even more distracted cos of that... grr, wonder whether the americans or everyone else are the ones who have nothing better to do and come up with the right-side/left-side drive system... i want my left hand on the wheel. maybe i should just make myself look like a dumb weirdo and drive with my hands crossed.. but oh well, i digress.
so proceeded to study. surprisingly i managed to avoid the temptation of the brownies, wedges and other pastry/finger food. but the beverage card costs 10+.
after i was done, felt like bowling. went grassroots. again, me and my plans... thought of playing two games. somehow my hook came back this time. so used the entire of the first game to adjust my lines... still can't get my hook strong enough to start from the center, but oh well... played decent on the second game, 140+ but kept getting brooklyns so decided to go for a third... working on my consistency in hitting the pocket and clearing leaves now... aiming for a 200, or somewhere around there before i request for a ball from my dad. playing in evening leagues when i get older has been one of my on-off targets. so the third game, and fourth, and fifth... self discipline indeed. and i was deluding myself with the thought that i'm saving on the shoe rental by playing more games at a go and coming once a week instead of twice which i was planning to... (and on that, i should really get my pair of shoes... have wasted so much on rentals).
and continuing the mood of crapping and ranting for this entry, i think i played decent. at least an 8 on every frame... and closed around 5, which isn't bad i suppose but i really need to work on stringing the strikes and spares... dunno what's with the bowling mania recently. only two years ago or so i decided to forgo bowling seriously cos i didn't seem to be improving enough and was wasting too much money being unhappy with myself. but now the craze's back i guess. current plan's to bowl once a week (more if i can afford it lol) and work on consistency... upgraded to 14 pound recently.. i like the balance, but it gets real tiring on the fingers if i'm playing by myself without pacing... and i can go on and on and on...
so i am left with bout 10 bucks for the rest of the week. thought it was alright if i control myself and limit my spending to only important meals... but then my love for snacks always gets the better of me. and ash got us out for dota... i wonder if i can get enough money for the chalet. would probably be bowling lots if hinho and i can infuse the craze into the group heh...
still with me? today i just feel like typing and typing and not stopping bout my life. like every li'l action of mine is so important and people actually care. did a count yesterday with aaron... i have only 6 days left to study what with everything going on. and considering i still have a sizeable chunk of stuff uncompleted from before the holidays i have like a day for every topic. maybe 2 if i count the day right before the exam itself... oh no. and holidays are as good as over now i guess. bout an hour of leisure or less after waking up and it's off to study. then upon reaching home it's bout dinner time. only difference is my mom only nags at my late sleeping when it's 2 instead of when it's 11 during school days i think...
recently not so hyped up bout the chalet anymore... 3 days, wonder what we'd do there. as nice as i think the class is it's still some way away from e1. and while i feel quite comfortable with almost everyone it still feels a li'l different. it's like at the e1 chalet i could just lie down at one corner and relax. the guitars, singing, cards, mahjong and whatnot just seemed to blend in perfect harmony and i'm part of it. still not very close with anyone in particular in 04. at tj can still sit down with yi chao and talk for ages bout everything under the sun. though we did not attend any one of the cg outings heh. but guess it just takes time. hope there would be 3 other mahjong junkies. the class's obsession with board games is quite fun but it can get boring quite easily. and it's already a fact that only 1 in 1258796 people appreciate and play the same video games as i do, so tt's out i guess. don't think i'd lug my gamecube as much as i love multiplayer games on them.
k, enough ranting for today i guess... perhaps i should give sleeping earlier a try...
Saturday, June 11, 2005
Todd and Penguin
[Warning: Loads of image files]
Ever had one of those days where you just look out into the night sky and feel so minute, so insignificant. the world is passing by, and it's like you're the only one not moving along. not that the desire to follow this procession of spirit energy is burning in me, but ain't everything else so beautiful and achieving something...
in other news, been reading todd and penguin. a webcomic. it really rocks! haven't discovered a webcomic i've really caught on to since userfriendly and reallife. i always admire those webcomic artists... it's tough keeping a strip going, but it must feel so nice when other people appreciate your works and one of your strips make someone's day. greg (reallife) and dave (todd and penguin) always talks bout the joy of receiving fanmail... if only i can draw half decent and actually think of something funny and witty for once i'd sure love to keep one myself. but some things are impossible i guess.
compiled some of the todd and penquin strips i liked here for your viewing pleasure. my eyes are burning now... read through the archives in one sitting (thankfully it's just four years or so and dave got quite lazy some time in the process). and i was saying i was gonna do a top few garfield strips of all time... this's a good substitute lah i guss.
got linked to another webcomic... a very new one but looks really promising. (http://www.toyzville.com/) like how the strip's developing.
ok, on to the select strips now. http://www.toddandpenguin.com/ for more goodness ^^. (a penguin, a teddy bear (two actually), a cat... how can i not loooove this haha)
this makes a great wallpaper, don't ya think?
i love those references to other comics... think most of the strips i put here are bout them...
struck a chord. this always happens to poor pooky and my still unnamed golden retriever among others lol
ain't penguin so cuute? esp when he's up to some trick
i guess i shouldn't have added this... think it needs that reference to another strip before this to get the full chuckle
this was the strip dedicated to the september 11th attacks... thought it was done so sensitively and well...
^^
another one =)
just though it was quite funny originally. but upon second look it seems like a reference to calvin and hobbes. wonder if it was intended...
3 out of 4 of my fave strips featured!
i guess i suck at picking "best of" strips... again the full joke behind this needs the knowledge of a previous story arc
can so identify with oscar (the cat) heh
the complete cuddly case ^^. well, except sally and jessika
just love it when oscar and penguin gets all fuzzy
Dave actually created the blog. ok, oscar did it ;). and there were four posts even. too bad it's no longer updated... next thing we know we'd see super penguin online ^^.
Hits the spot right on. lol, my mom always complains bout this ;-]
another more inside joke i guess
it's just great when you've read so much of the archives and one strip like this comes along and remind you of all the beautiful moments the comic had
i guess this has been done before in one way or another, but it still brought a hearty chuckle
todd always gets woken up at 5am to hear one of penguin's cute lines. thought holly's expression was drawn real wonderful. it's her turn now ^^.
aha
penguin was so cute with the please part heh...
Ever had one of those days where you just look out into the night sky and feel so minute, so insignificant. the world is passing by, and it's like you're the only one not moving along. not that the desire to follow this procession of spirit energy is burning in me, but ain't everything else so beautiful and achieving something...
in other news, been reading todd and penguin. a webcomic. it really rocks! haven't discovered a webcomic i've really caught on to since userfriendly and reallife. i always admire those webcomic artists... it's tough keeping a strip going, but it must feel so nice when other people appreciate your works and one of your strips make someone's day. greg (reallife) and dave (todd and penguin) always talks bout the joy of receiving fanmail... if only i can draw half decent and actually think of something funny and witty for once i'd sure love to keep one myself. but some things are impossible i guess.
compiled some of the todd and penquin strips i liked here for your viewing pleasure. my eyes are burning now... read through the archives in one sitting (thankfully it's just four years or so and dave got quite lazy some time in the process). and i was saying i was gonna do a top few garfield strips of all time... this's a good substitute lah i guss.
got linked to another webcomic... a very new one but looks really promising. (http://www.toyzville.com/) like how the strip's developing.
ok, on to the select strips now. http://www.toddandpenguin.com/ for more goodness ^^. (a penguin, a teddy bear (two actually), a cat... how can i not loooove this haha)
this makes a great wallpaper, don't ya think?
i love those references to other comics... think most of the strips i put here are bout them...
struck a chord. this always happens to poor pooky and my still unnamed golden retriever among others lol
ain't penguin so cuute? esp when he's up to some trick
i guess i shouldn't have added this... think it needs that reference to another strip before this to get the full chuckle
this was the strip dedicated to the september 11th attacks... thought it was done so sensitively and well...
^^
another one =)
just though it was quite funny originally. but upon second look it seems like a reference to calvin and hobbes. wonder if it was intended...
3 out of 4 of my fave strips featured!
i guess i suck at picking "best of" strips... again the full joke behind this needs the knowledge of a previous story arc
can so identify with oscar (the cat) heh
the complete cuddly case ^^. well, except sally and jessika
just love it when oscar and penguin gets all fuzzy
Dave actually created the blog. ok, oscar did it ;). and there were four posts even. too bad it's no longer updated... next thing we know we'd see super penguin online ^^.
Hits the spot right on. lol, my mom always complains bout this ;-]
another more inside joke i guess
it's just great when you've read so much of the archives and one strip like this comes along and remind you of all the beautiful moments the comic had
i guess this has been done before in one way or another, but it still brought a hearty chuckle
todd always gets woken up at 5am to hear one of penguin's cute lines. thought holly's expression was drawn real wonderful. it's her turn now ^^.
aha
penguin was so cute with the please part heh...
Thursday, June 09, 2005
...
Some things never change, like terence and ash bickering whenever they meet.
and some things do before you even know it...
taking turns to be the bad guy, and sorry just don't seem good enough...
or maybe things have not changed at all. it's just that i haven't noticed it
and some things do before you even know it...
taking turns to be the bad guy, and sorry just don't seem good enough...
or maybe things have not changed at all. it's just that i haven't noticed it
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
...
went arcades on tues after pe. reminded of my torrid inability to keep concentrated for long periods of time... one minute i'm in the game and the next i'm on the grass, crashed or bumped into the car in front... bleh... onto my last credit before i got into groove, and even then there'd be occasions where my mind will just wander and slip. keeping concentrated already a big problem for me, and it was much worse yesterday. i can't even recall what i was thinking bout after that... remember a garfield quote: "Some people have the silliest phobias. I have a fear of letting my mind wander. I'm afriad it wouldn't come back"... maybe one day tt'd happen to me.
good thing is i'm getting good at outrun 2 ^^. completed it finally despite the amateurish mistakes... drifting's so fun! actually i wouldn't have completed it if not for sth else... spent 3 credits on outrun, failing horribly with my loss of concentration, then got myself into the maximum tune machine already. then it felt incredibly weird, like sth's wrong. figured out it's cos the gear is on the left. crap. from young i've been so used to the us left sided driver... daytona, outrun 1 & 2 and the many racing games in between. so used to having my left hand on the wheel and right on the gears already... gonna have to stop playing those US games and try to switch soon lest i need a gazillion number of attempts to pass my driving test if i ever want to take it.
something unrelated (this is happening oh-so-often nowadays eh)
losing my faith... faith in the things i believed in, things i thought were omnipresent (i sound so religious... oh well)
i guess it's just me to keep quiet when these things happen. i ought to confront them... but now it's happened and i've decided to keep mum. but i'm still hoping that others will actually bother giving excuses for it. lame excuses even, i don't mind... just try and explain it. and maybe i'd be able to believe again... disappointed; but am i even entitled to feel that way?
good thing is i'm getting good at outrun 2 ^^. completed it finally despite the amateurish mistakes... drifting's so fun! actually i wouldn't have completed it if not for sth else... spent 3 credits on outrun, failing horribly with my loss of concentration, then got myself into the maximum tune machine already. then it felt incredibly weird, like sth's wrong. figured out it's cos the gear is on the left. crap. from young i've been so used to the us left sided driver... daytona, outrun 1 & 2 and the many racing games in between. so used to having my left hand on the wheel and right on the gears already... gonna have to stop playing those US games and try to switch soon lest i need a gazillion number of attempts to pass my driving test if i ever want to take it.
something unrelated (this is happening oh-so-often nowadays eh)
losing my faith... faith in the things i believed in, things i thought were omnipresent (i sound so religious... oh well)
i guess it's just me to keep quiet when these things happen. i ought to confront them... but now it's happened and i've decided to keep mum. but i'm still hoping that others will actually bother giving excuses for it. lame excuses even, i don't mind... just try and explain it. and maybe i'd be able to believe again... disappointed; but am i even entitled to feel that way?
Monday, June 06, 2005
JAPAN #2
It rocks ^^ haha. spent most of the day baking it. whoa, never knew kneading was this tough... pretty hard on the fingers, not on the arms which i expected... my hands are still trembling quite a bit now, and considering that my hands shake even without exertion it seems scary... i really think i'm bound to get parkinson's if i live old enough... most of the time the trembling's nothing much but it kinda gets on my nerves when i'm trying to deal with small things... threading needles, making handicrafts, etc... i just can't seem to focus my hands on that tiny spot. but oh well, i digress as always the case
so finally after much hard work ricecooker bread japan #2 is successful! yahoo! felt so good seeing it slowly expanding while letting it to ferment and seeing the end product... it tastes quite good too, pardon the bhb-ness... but i think the recipe didn't add enough sugar... wasn't sweet enough... and the saltiness came from the butter, not the salt which isn't perfect yet... i'm already starting to think bout my next attempt haha. wanna have a try with eggs but think chocalate sauce will be easier. oh well, for now i should just indulge in my beautiful creation ^^.
grr, i'm never good with words... hate it when i see someone down and can't do anything to help. the comforting words don't even come out right... bah.. brings me back to the time when our chinese o level results were released. huishan started crying after getting hers. (note to her: hope you don't mind me blogging bout it... tell me if u don't want to see it eh) it's expected for any person that don't have an ice-covered stone for his/her heart to try console i guess, but then i just couldn't do anything... could only motion for sharon to come over and help... just like situation now i guess..
been thinking bout friends these days... can't wait to catch up... realised that jun liang feels more like a family member than a friend. dunno whether tt's good or bad. it's like even though we don't meet up much nowadays, not even for ball cos of the schedules i guess sigh, whenever we do, it just feels like nothings much have happened in between. there doesn't seem to be a need to catch up or anything.. like we can just talk and do whatever stuff together and pick up from the point we last left off. and i think too many a times i take him for granted. as if we'd always be friends and never lose contact. with other groups of friends i often feel this need to get them out cos deep down i'm afraid that the last gathering was the last one everand slowly without realising it we just distance from each other and lose contact. but with jun liang i seem to be always waiting for him to get sth going. again i wonder if tt's good or bad... whether i should do sth bout it or just leave it as it is... these grey areas in life... guess that's what makes it special, doesn't it?
so finally after much hard work ricecooker bread japan #2 is successful! yahoo! felt so good seeing it slowly expanding while letting it to ferment and seeing the end product... it tastes quite good too, pardon the bhb-ness... but i think the recipe didn't add enough sugar... wasn't sweet enough... and the saltiness came from the butter, not the salt which isn't perfect yet... i'm already starting to think bout my next attempt haha. wanna have a try with eggs but think chocalate sauce will be easier. oh well, for now i should just indulge in my beautiful creation ^^.
grr, i'm never good with words... hate it when i see someone down and can't do anything to help. the comforting words don't even come out right... bah.. brings me back to the time when our chinese o level results were released. huishan started crying after getting hers. (note to her: hope you don't mind me blogging bout it... tell me if u don't want to see it eh) it's expected for any person that don't have an ice-covered stone for his/her heart to try console i guess, but then i just couldn't do anything... could only motion for sharon to come over and help... just like situation now i guess..
been thinking bout friends these days... can't wait to catch up... realised that jun liang feels more like a family member than a friend. dunno whether tt's good or bad. it's like even though we don't meet up much nowadays, not even for ball cos of the schedules i guess sigh, whenever we do, it just feels like nothings much have happened in between. there doesn't seem to be a need to catch up or anything.. like we can just talk and do whatever stuff together and pick up from the point we last left off. and i think too many a times i take him for granted. as if we'd always be friends and never lose contact. with other groups of friends i often feel this need to get them out cos deep down i'm afraid that the last gathering was the last one everand slowly without realising it we just distance from each other and lose contact. but with jun liang i seem to be always waiting for him to get sth going. again i wonder if tt's good or bad... whether i should do sth bout it or just leave it as it is... these grey areas in life... guess that's what makes it special, doesn't it?
Sunday, June 05, 2005
Recounting...
let's see... saturday... went watch star wars with chairman, hongyi and zhenhao. so it has been 'star wars sucks' since the movie's coming out and zhenhao started talking bout how good it'd be. all the bickering bout it. and before the movie it ain't any better. was linking almost everything that's happening with how bad star wars is. won the war of words with him haha. fun seeing how frustrated he got unable to think of a counter. but anyway... then we were in cinema 4. walking down the corridor and was like 'hey, cinema 1's showing madagascar, let's go in... 2's showing my boyfriend's type b... hitchhiker's in 3'... argh, all the movies i wanna watch instead of the horrible movie i'm bout to witness. and 8.50 for it even... grr, wonder who planned for it to be on weekends...
ok, so on hindsight if i went into the theatre unbiased i would say it isn't SOoo bad lah.. but then, ugh. i'm just against it... saw the trailers for narnia. kinda disappointing. reminded me of lemony snickets, so probably will give it a miss then. was kinda looking forward to it since i read a few books in the series and thought it wasn't so bad (though not good enough to warrant its completion)... oh well
i missed sahara and coach carter. guess gotta download it. don't want to let the same happen to the three aforementioned movies... guess i'd have to watch them soon. the gang don't seem so interested in them. the good ol' days at tj haha. ponning the thursday physics lecture every week cos my class got that horrible seat at the corner to watch movies... and $5 only even...
after that went arcades. i'm getting better at outrun 2 ^^. then there's this drumming game i'm starting to get into. reminds me of psch days with the drum and mu yu. just hate it when you have to hit the sides of the drum though... always gets my rhythm off with that. i want to break a hi-score and get my picture inside the machine lol. then dunno whether i should start playing maximum tune and initial d. seems nice and think the card system recording down data's kinda cool.. but money gobbling man... esp when i'm working on outrun... guess that has to wait.
hongyi wore a pink shirt! so surprised when i saw that... then he was sms-ing throughout the day, even during the movies... asked him if he's sms-ing a lot of people or just one and he shyly said one... he looked so happy haha. must have been really boring for him when shiu hei and i decided to walk around a bit before going home. it's like the two of us are talking and he would just be behind sms-ing away... still so surprised bout his sudden change lor...
ok, finally got around to ask around bout the planned outing. maybe can get it done before 9th...
class chalets seem like would be on for 3 days now. looking forward to that. hats off to hin ho for all the planning he's doing... never liked doing that (guess that's why i've let my own organising to do drag til now for a few weeks.)
i wanna play ball sometime soon. wanna catch up with jun liang too... argh, i can't just sit around doing nothing... starting to bowl weekly again now... last time was like sec 2/3 when i gave up after it doesn't seem to be improving... hope can average 150 by end of september... wanna upgrade a pound or two more.. need more strength in my thumb... grr..
oh yeah, can't wait to bake JAPAAN #2. got the ingredients, but mom... sigh... just don't trust me without her around... tml then...
ok, so on hindsight if i went into the theatre unbiased i would say it isn't SOoo bad lah.. but then, ugh. i'm just against it... saw the trailers for narnia. kinda disappointing. reminded me of lemony snickets, so probably will give it a miss then. was kinda looking forward to it since i read a few books in the series and thought it wasn't so bad (though not good enough to warrant its completion)... oh well
i missed sahara and coach carter. guess gotta download it. don't want to let the same happen to the three aforementioned movies... guess i'd have to watch them soon. the gang don't seem so interested in them. the good ol' days at tj haha. ponning the thursday physics lecture every week cos my class got that horrible seat at the corner to watch movies... and $5 only even...
after that went arcades. i'm getting better at outrun 2 ^^. then there's this drumming game i'm starting to get into. reminds me of psch days with the drum and mu yu. just hate it when you have to hit the sides of the drum though... always gets my rhythm off with that. i want to break a hi-score and get my picture inside the machine lol. then dunno whether i should start playing maximum tune and initial d. seems nice and think the card system recording down data's kinda cool.. but money gobbling man... esp when i'm working on outrun... guess that has to wait.
hongyi wore a pink shirt! so surprised when i saw that... then he was sms-ing throughout the day, even during the movies... asked him if he's sms-ing a lot of people or just one and he shyly said one... he looked so happy haha. must have been really boring for him when shiu hei and i decided to walk around a bit before going home. it's like the two of us are talking and he would just be behind sms-ing away... still so surprised bout his sudden change lor...
ok, finally got around to ask around bout the planned outing. maybe can get it done before 9th...
class chalets seem like would be on for 3 days now. looking forward to that. hats off to hin ho for all the planning he's doing... never liked doing that (guess that's why i've let my own organising to do drag til now for a few weeks.)
i wanna play ball sometime soon. wanna catch up with jun liang too... argh, i can't just sit around doing nothing... starting to bowl weekly again now... last time was like sec 2/3 when i gave up after it doesn't seem to be improving... hope can average 150 by end of september... wanna upgrade a pound or two more.. need more strength in my thumb... grr..
oh yeah, can't wait to bake JAPAAN #2. got the ingredients, but mom... sigh... just don't trust me without her around... tml then...
Friday, June 03, 2005
Insert Disc 2
You are not alone
Dunno why i'm suddenly feeling so light... must be reaching nirvana soon haha. starting to read the 5 people you'd meet in heaven, or whatever the real wording of the title is. exhausted all mike gayle's book, so now on to different genre i guess... seems like an interesting book so far... maybe i'd believe in the heaven the author has in mind after the read...
another new blog song... hope this's not turning out to be song of the month or sth... just can't seem to find the song i really want on... something that kinda speaks out my mind and touches... so far guess life is like a boat's the closest... maybe i'd switch back if i can't seem to find a comfortable one soon...
"You Are Not Alone"/Michael Jackson
Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold
Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone
'Lone, 'lone
Why, 'lone
Just the other night
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
Then forever can begin
Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone
Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
And girl you know that I'll be there
I'll be there
You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone...
another new blog song... hope this's not turning out to be song of the month or sth... just can't seem to find the song i really want on... something that kinda speaks out my mind and touches... so far guess life is like a boat's the closest... maybe i'd switch back if i can't seem to find a comfortable one soon...
"You Are Not Alone"/Michael Jackson
Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold
Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone
'Lone, 'lone
Why, 'lone
Just the other night
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
Then forever can begin
Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone
Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
And girl you know that I'll be there
I'll be there
You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone...
Thursday, June 02, 2005
...
somebody gimme a life... and i was bashing aaron for not having one a few weeks ago... it's just loads of sleep, sleep and more sleep laced with going back to sch for pw, pe remedial, gaming and anime. i need to go out there and do something more man. ok, things to look forward to... class chalet, dunno whether they'd have it planned. star wars with shiu hei and co sometime soon. organise sth, probably another lan session with the li'l group... hmm, that's all i guess... and sleep and sleep more...
was reminiscing the p sch days... think it's cos of hearing bout aj choir going to czech... the yangqin/ruan days... took out the vcd we had made during the performance at perth... come to think of it that was such a nice time, going overseas with friends... i'd sure like to have tt experience again sometime, this time without parents and teachers tagging along... had talked bout it with lymon before, but guess it'd be after ns before we'd have this chance. and even then i wonder if i'd have a close-knit group of friends to go with or can find the time to do so...
well, i digress.. the vcd... makes u think how powerful and precious videos/photos are... a time i don't wanna forget, just click and there you have it, that moment framed... tt's why i've always been so insistent of having group photos during our class outing (though i almost always forget as well haha)... it's memories i don't wanna let go. i dunno if i'd be able to keep in contact (sure hope so) but at least the photo can help me remember bout the times where we were together given the forgetful me. i still have some neoprints i took in like p4-6 and i kinda regret not keeping in touch with my p sch friends... i wonder why taking neoprints don't seem so popular with guys i know haha. or as clement would say, so gay lor lol.
couldn't bear finishing the video... had to stop halfway. just couldn't take it or... the perth trip was perhaps the peak of the yangqin/ruan days... winning our second consecutive (4th for some of us ^^) syf gold didn't come as close... neither was getting that 3rd place in the national competition, or that christmas celebration at xu lao shi's house... or so many other times... i kinda remember i blogged quite some time back bout hoping to meet william some day. hope that day will come...
on something else, i love yakitate japan! (guess i should put this on the anime blog but i've been leaving tt so stagnant so might as well... gotta catch up...) have always loved bread and pastry from young. always spend so much snacking on them... so as if it wasn't nice enough showing us out-of-the-world bread of your fantasy, the recent episode taught how to bake your own simple JAPAAAN! (heard some stores in japan are selling some of the JAPAAANs... argh... but oh well, this is just as good i guess) nice! first time i got so hyped up from an anime. gonna get my dad to get some of the ingredients... will be trying out soon. i'd so looking forward to that haha. rice cooker bread... interesting... haven't cooked except for simple instant noodles and eggs since home econs. finally.. tt reminds me, why did i forget how to make the huat keuh. still remembered the one i did with yanda... it actually 'cracked' when many others' didn't... oh well
was reminiscing the p sch days... think it's cos of hearing bout aj choir going to czech... the yangqin/ruan days... took out the vcd we had made during the performance at perth... come to think of it that was such a nice time, going overseas with friends... i'd sure like to have tt experience again sometime, this time without parents and teachers tagging along... had talked bout it with lymon before, but guess it'd be after ns before we'd have this chance. and even then i wonder if i'd have a close-knit group of friends to go with or can find the time to do so...
well, i digress.. the vcd... makes u think how powerful and precious videos/photos are... a time i don't wanna forget, just click and there you have it, that moment framed... tt's why i've always been so insistent of having group photos during our class outing (though i almost always forget as well haha)... it's memories i don't wanna let go. i dunno if i'd be able to keep in contact (sure hope so) but at least the photo can help me remember bout the times where we were together given the forgetful me. i still have some neoprints i took in like p4-6 and i kinda regret not keeping in touch with my p sch friends... i wonder why taking neoprints don't seem so popular with guys i know haha. or as clement would say, so gay lor lol.
couldn't bear finishing the video... had to stop halfway. just couldn't take it or... the perth trip was perhaps the peak of the yangqin/ruan days... winning our second consecutive (4th for some of us ^^) syf gold didn't come as close... neither was getting that 3rd place in the national competition, or that christmas celebration at xu lao shi's house... or so many other times... i kinda remember i blogged quite some time back bout hoping to meet william some day. hope that day will come...
on something else, i love yakitate japan! (guess i should put this on the anime blog but i've been leaving tt so stagnant so might as well... gotta catch up...) have always loved bread and pastry from young. always spend so much snacking on them... so as if it wasn't nice enough showing us out-of-the-world bread of your fantasy, the recent episode taught how to bake your own simple JAPAAAN! (heard some stores in japan are selling some of the JAPAAANs... argh... but oh well, this is just as good i guess) nice! first time i got so hyped up from an anime. gonna get my dad to get some of the ingredients... will be trying out soon. i'd so looking forward to that haha. rice cooker bread... interesting... haven't cooked except for simple instant noodles and eggs since home econs. finally.. tt reminds me, why did i forget how to make the huat keuh. still remembered the one i did with yanda... it actually 'cracked' when many others' didn't... oh well
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
I miss the days
When has fear become such a big part of me i wonder
Sometimes it just makes me ponder
Icy shield formed yet again, there to stay?
Always saying someday, someway
But maybe it's just another pipe dream gone under
Sometimes it just makes me ponder
Icy shield formed yet again, there to stay?
Always saying someday, someway
But maybe it's just another pipe dream gone under
