Monday, May 30, 2005
Photos galore
Just one of those days where i have the eye for pretty things... argh, so nice, so expensive...
ok, so this two are definitely out of question...
Within financial capability but means have to do without so many things. think just have to let the urge cool down and not see these pictures... niishino's so kawaii haha. rukia, kon...
isn't this cool. keyboard without any inprints on the keys. dunno whether it's a joke or real thing but i'd sure like to have tt lor... but shipping = out of the question again...
---
now to sth unrelated... friday was pretty fun. started off with first aid duty. no need to listen to some boring sl talk ^^. no one got injured, so halfway through the thing me, zhen hao and candy just went audi watch totoro-chan. so cute!!! then brought snacks inside audi too... nice. they stopped the screening before it was over... grrr... don't really see the story but the animations are nice and funny...
later had party for ming tao who's going to ntu. we took wrong pizza haha, but nice. then the crazy photo taking began again. how nice to be able to just sit back and let others take photos without needing to nag and nag haha.
some time back after gp lesson
thursday
they didn't tell me they were celebrating yongsheng's bday two weeks before... grr... or probably i'm sleeping when they told the class. pic so nice lor...
we were supposed to swear to our gp buddies that we'd do our jobs -_-"
so we promised not to blog bout eng wen... but heck lah. one of his funny poses again. dunno whether he'd be coming back after holidays. hope he does. though frankly i have to say i prefer mrs tan's lessons as boring as they are cos i think i'd do better but his lesson's not bad. and you can kinda see his passion. maybe his thinking a bit off from us sometimes, but he's a good teacher. and gp's like english under him sometime. dunno good or bad... on one hand we won't need to do the homo impromptu skit if it's a new teacher, but hopes he comes back lah.
thurs at grassroots
ittatakimasu!
lunch on fri
so after that, went play pool. fun. then decided to go watch guitar + harmonica concert. yong sheng and anna were like asking everyone to go for the entire week but still it turned out to be last minute decision with six of us. i thought it was better than the band/co one even though it's smaller scale and it's obvious that they weren't as skilled.
thought harmonica's part was nicer (3 vs 2 vote)... i think tt's what i call correct choice of song. maybe sth co/band can learn. they kinda covered up the lack of polish by playing simple and familiar tunes we can all identify with. and i liked the conductor haha. quite old man and sometimes he seems more like practising tai chi/qi gong or whatever than conducting but you can see the passion in him about music. then after the concert he was talking bout how he enjoy teaching the ensemble and striving for greater heights in chinese. seemed to have ended his 'speech', so we were clapping, then he went to the other mic and started talking in english thanking pple. such a joker. just have to be there to get the thing. i liked his passion... would love to play under him. but i'd probably never play music 'seriously' again
they gave us encores! unlike the co/band thing haha. $5 well spent. tong hua! nice ^^. then the collaboration between guitar and harmonica for qing tian. nice as well ^^. a li'l fast and got mixed up in the middle but still great
kinda obvious why they got silver... some glaring errors here and there and they just don't look at the conductor. he was like willing everyone to go louder, etc but no response. but brings me to my point. syf and concerts for students are two very different things. could see co was gold-calibre but they song-selection...
guitar imo not so well-done, but alrite. the lilo and stitch hawaiin song with the guy dressed up and singing was good. really admire that guy singing, showed off the correct spirit. then hotel california on acoustic guitar was surprisingly nice. but aj idol was sick or sth and they had a girl singing it instead. and she had to look at lyrics to sing. of course it didn't go through. she had a nice voice but just lacked the rock and oldie style. and kinda void of emotion imo.... then others were good but nothing spetacular
---
slept like a log these days. i think the past two days i've been sleeping longer than i've been awake. great, can replenish all the sleep. wonder how pe remedial will be tml. i need to go back get my cert soon. had a dream bout announcement of first aid exco results lol. got in but treasurer. terence (not peh) became president, sth we've kinda been fearing. only another one of our 'clan' got into exco. hope won't be true. lol, i'm even dreaming bout first aid now. must stop reading the manual.
[Thanks to hinho for the pics]
ok, so this two are definitely out of question...
Within financial capability but means have to do without so many things. think just have to let the urge cool down and not see these pictures... niishino's so kawaii haha. rukia, kon...
isn't this cool. keyboard without any inprints on the keys. dunno whether it's a joke or real thing but i'd sure like to have tt lor... but shipping = out of the question again...
---
now to sth unrelated... friday was pretty fun. started off with first aid duty. no need to listen to some boring sl talk ^^. no one got injured, so halfway through the thing me, zhen hao and candy just went audi watch totoro-chan. so cute!!! then brought snacks inside audi too... nice. they stopped the screening before it was over... grrr... don't really see the story but the animations are nice and funny...
later had party for ming tao who's going to ntu. we took wrong pizza haha, but nice. then the crazy photo taking began again. how nice to be able to just sit back and let others take photos without needing to nag and nag haha.
some time back after gp lesson
thursday
they didn't tell me they were celebrating yongsheng's bday two weeks before... grr... or probably i'm sleeping when they told the class. pic so nice lor...
we were supposed to swear to our gp buddies that we'd do our jobs -_-"
so we promised not to blog bout eng wen... but heck lah. one of his funny poses again. dunno whether he'd be coming back after holidays. hope he does. though frankly i have to say i prefer mrs tan's lessons as boring as they are cos i think i'd do better but his lesson's not bad. and you can kinda see his passion. maybe his thinking a bit off from us sometimes, but he's a good teacher. and gp's like english under him sometime. dunno good or bad... on one hand we won't need to do the homo impromptu skit if it's a new teacher, but hopes he comes back lah.
thurs at grassroots
ittatakimasu!
lunch on fri
so after that, went play pool. fun. then decided to go watch guitar + harmonica concert. yong sheng and anna were like asking everyone to go for the entire week but still it turned out to be last minute decision with six of us. i thought it was better than the band/co one even though it's smaller scale and it's obvious that they weren't as skilled.
thought harmonica's part was nicer (3 vs 2 vote)... i think tt's what i call correct choice of song. maybe sth co/band can learn. they kinda covered up the lack of polish by playing simple and familiar tunes we can all identify with. and i liked the conductor haha. quite old man and sometimes he seems more like practising tai chi/qi gong or whatever than conducting but you can see the passion in him about music. then after the concert he was talking bout how he enjoy teaching the ensemble and striving for greater heights in chinese. seemed to have ended his 'speech', so we were clapping, then he went to the other mic and started talking in english thanking pple. such a joker. just have to be there to get the thing. i liked his passion... would love to play under him. but i'd probably never play music 'seriously' again
they gave us encores! unlike the co/band thing haha. $5 well spent. tong hua! nice ^^. then the collaboration between guitar and harmonica for qing tian. nice as well ^^. a li'l fast and got mixed up in the middle but still great
kinda obvious why they got silver... some glaring errors here and there and they just don't look at the conductor. he was like willing everyone to go louder, etc but no response. but brings me to my point. syf and concerts for students are two very different things. could see co was gold-calibre but they song-selection...
guitar imo not so well-done, but alrite. the lilo and stitch hawaiin song with the guy dressed up and singing was good. really admire that guy singing, showed off the correct spirit. then hotel california on acoustic guitar was surprisingly nice. but aj idol was sick or sth and they had a girl singing it instead. and she had to look at lyrics to sing. of course it didn't go through. she had a nice voice but just lacked the rock and oldie style. and kinda void of emotion imo.... then others were good but nothing spetacular
---
slept like a log these days. i think the past two days i've been sleeping longer than i've been awake. great, can replenish all the sleep. wonder how pe remedial will be tml. i need to go back get my cert soon. had a dream bout announcement of first aid exco results lol. got in but treasurer. terence (not peh) became president, sth we've kinda been fearing. only another one of our 'clan' got into exco. hope won't be true. lol, i'm even dreaming bout first aid now. must stop reading the manual.
[Thanks to hinho for the pics]
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Unconnected thoughts
interesting dream two days back... i was out in an open field of sorts doing something, and then i saw this beautiful bird flying across the sky. raised up my hand and the bird came to it. my, was it beautiful... gazed at its pretty feathers etc admiringly, just in my own world. failed to notice the bird somehow seemed a li'l uncomfortable and seemed like it wanna leave. it nudged me somehow (dreams are weird haha), as if telling me it wanna fly away. was kind of reluctant and sad but relented in the end, letting it fly free. watched its graceful flight, and soon i was willing it to fly on, fly higher to places i can never even imagine. somehow a smile made its way, the disappointment of no longer having it up close gone. mumbled a li'l wish for it and then it's back to my work... doesn't really make much sense, but i wonder... dreams are always so fascinating.
then the past two days have been raining in the morning. and somehow woke with the blues for both days... hmm, this old problem's coming back i guess. used to have a lot of these days in sec sch but thought it improved lots this year. hope it's just a 'blip'. ok, so i woke up feeling just irked bout almost everything. rain would usually just worsen it if it was a year back cos i'd just detest it... how troublesome taking out the umbrella, getting wet, going the long way using the shelters... but somehow the two days was different. there was like something alluring bout the rain. so even though i brought my umbrella i didn't bother using it. if only i didn't have to bother bout going through school all drenched i would have just stay in the rain and be one with it... i just hate it when my logic kicks in... but all for the better i guess. kinda relaxed me a li'l strolling in it, feeling the rain drops on the head, the shirt. listening to the pitter-patter.
i must be watching too many movies/anime for the past two things to happen... at least it's a healthy change from the logic and reasoning dominated me i guess. been trying to supress the urge to deduce every possible reason from what i know recently...
the alpha list thing just sucks. disgusted with the teacher's attitude too during tt briefing. well, granted she wasn't happy with our attitude then, but i just detest pple who act like that. (i guess i hate myself?) thankfully kenneth and i didn't confront her then i guess. 3 disgruntled people can't be a good thing. the pw hod also in charge of this thing seem like a more understanding teacher who's willing to listen to reason. maybe we'd go find her sometime soon. i appreciate the effort to give us more chances to lead, etc but forcing us to these stuff of which half doesn't have any practical value at all? at least i think i might gain some insight through the temasek seminar thing as needless as i think it is but the other stuff. bah.
and talking bout being irritated by certain pple, was unhappy with a few bengs at grassroots today. just what's with that pompous attitude? acting like that when there's no substance inside at all... i dunno whether to pity these people or not... think they act so cos they wanna show their individualistic self, be different but in the end they're just conforming to things other bengs do. i've known a few through playing bball but those i met are actually quite nice and don't act like such a fool. k, so maybe they get rough sometimes, but tt's it... think you're so smart?
i seem to really hate everything these few days eh. yet another thing to complain bout. spa today. but somehow the lesson before spa i allowed myself to get annoyed over one of my classmate's act. it wasn't something bad at all, and definitely not intentional but i just got really unhappy. unhappy just cos there was opposing mindsets towards certain thing. unhappy cos what i think is better is not recognised... i don't understand why i got so worked up over such a small thing but i did. maths tutorial immediately after the incident. masked it under lethargy but don't think i did a too good job. was giving one-word answers. ms bok let us off 10min early to prepare for spa, tried to quell it by sleeping. managed to sleep but still didn't feel exactly well when time's up. i allowed it to affect my spa. haven't spotted any careless mistake yet but i can still remember myself being irked during the spa. i should learn to control this more. maybe i've been lacking sleep. someone (wan lin was it?) told me it'd take a long time to 'recharge' lost sleep so maybe tt's why i'm still feeling so when i've been sleeping quite early recently.
i guess i complain a lot, don't i? can't help it. now on brighter stuff. finally the holidays are coming. not really a holiday at all but at least i can sleep much, much later now (to think i used to have a human alarm clock set at 8). pe remedials, once for pw. a mock common test for chem... leave just enough time to slack and recharge before studying a li'l for the exams. think will feel weird actually incorporating regular revision nowadays considering what i used to do, but guess it's good
first aid duty tml. first time. started reading the first aid manual. first aid's turing out to be much more than the slack cca my original intention was. when i saw first aid's an enriching cca i actually mean it. it's quite interesting actually. hope don't need to do anything cos i'm still so inexperienced but then think it'd be fun. still hoping i'd make it to exco!
been thinking i might make a connoisseur... seems like a nice job. i always take pride in the times when i discover my mom added something to her dishes haha. and being her number one critic when she tries out something new. but again, don't think it's very feasible. need the connections which obviously i don't have. and too risky a job prospect. can't get degree for it lol. still thinking bout ambition... maybe i'd go overseas to get degree in optometry? but don't think dad can sponsor everything. scholarship? hmm... would really love to stay in singapore, but i'd need some direction soon... 3 years...
class party tml for a china scholar... hope it'd be fun. i like my class. nice bunch of guys. just too li'l girls i guess. kinda interesting seeing how all the girls will all each take a table during lessons where groups are assigned by the teachers and in 'free-seating lessons' and all five (sometimes four) will clump together at one table. i guess i just need to change my perspective a bit and not look at others through tinted glasses and the class will be most fine indeed. really respect how wan lin can seem so accomodating and 'forgiving' (?)... so if i can try my best not to view one or two people differently we have quite a fun class indeed.
seen some of the 04 first three months photos. and as much as i say i like my class and it's fun i think it's no match to that. that balancing act again of old friends vs new ones. think i'm doing it fine. bowled with some of them today. nice though my games were horrible. and we're taking lots of photos at every opportunity haha. so SOME PEOPLE think we look like idiots but who cares... we're having fun.
be yourself day ^^. first aid duty! hope it rains tml
then the past two days have been raining in the morning. and somehow woke with the blues for both days... hmm, this old problem's coming back i guess. used to have a lot of these days in sec sch but thought it improved lots this year. hope it's just a 'blip'. ok, so i woke up feeling just irked bout almost everything. rain would usually just worsen it if it was a year back cos i'd just detest it... how troublesome taking out the umbrella, getting wet, going the long way using the shelters... but somehow the two days was different. there was like something alluring bout the rain. so even though i brought my umbrella i didn't bother using it. if only i didn't have to bother bout going through school all drenched i would have just stay in the rain and be one with it... i just hate it when my logic kicks in... but all for the better i guess. kinda relaxed me a li'l strolling in it, feeling the rain drops on the head, the shirt. listening to the pitter-patter.
i must be watching too many movies/anime for the past two things to happen... at least it's a healthy change from the logic and reasoning dominated me i guess. been trying to supress the urge to deduce every possible reason from what i know recently...
the alpha list thing just sucks. disgusted with the teacher's attitude too during tt briefing. well, granted she wasn't happy with our attitude then, but i just detest pple who act like that. (i guess i hate myself?) thankfully kenneth and i didn't confront her then i guess. 3 disgruntled people can't be a good thing. the pw hod also in charge of this thing seem like a more understanding teacher who's willing to listen to reason. maybe we'd go find her sometime soon. i appreciate the effort to give us more chances to lead, etc but forcing us to these stuff of which half doesn't have any practical value at all? at least i think i might gain some insight through the temasek seminar thing as needless as i think it is but the other stuff. bah.
and talking bout being irritated by certain pple, was unhappy with a few bengs at grassroots today. just what's with that pompous attitude? acting like that when there's no substance inside at all... i dunno whether to pity these people or not... think they act so cos they wanna show their individualistic self, be different but in the end they're just conforming to things other bengs do. i've known a few through playing bball but those i met are actually quite nice and don't act like such a fool. k, so maybe they get rough sometimes, but tt's it... think you're so smart?
i seem to really hate everything these few days eh. yet another thing to complain bout. spa today. but somehow the lesson before spa i allowed myself to get annoyed over one of my classmate's act. it wasn't something bad at all, and definitely not intentional but i just got really unhappy. unhappy just cos there was opposing mindsets towards certain thing. unhappy cos what i think is better is not recognised... i don't understand why i got so worked up over such a small thing but i did. maths tutorial immediately after the incident. masked it under lethargy but don't think i did a too good job. was giving one-word answers. ms bok let us off 10min early to prepare for spa, tried to quell it by sleeping. managed to sleep but still didn't feel exactly well when time's up. i allowed it to affect my spa. haven't spotted any careless mistake yet but i can still remember myself being irked during the spa. i should learn to control this more. maybe i've been lacking sleep. someone (wan lin was it?) told me it'd take a long time to 'recharge' lost sleep so maybe tt's why i'm still feeling so when i've been sleeping quite early recently.
i guess i complain a lot, don't i? can't help it. now on brighter stuff. finally the holidays are coming. not really a holiday at all but at least i can sleep much, much later now (to think i used to have a human alarm clock set at 8). pe remedials, once for pw. a mock common test for chem... leave just enough time to slack and recharge before studying a li'l for the exams. think will feel weird actually incorporating regular revision nowadays considering what i used to do, but guess it's good
first aid duty tml. first time. started reading the first aid manual. first aid's turing out to be much more than the slack cca my original intention was. when i saw first aid's an enriching cca i actually mean it. it's quite interesting actually. hope don't need to do anything cos i'm still so inexperienced but then think it'd be fun. still hoping i'd make it to exco!
been thinking i might make a connoisseur... seems like a nice job. i always take pride in the times when i discover my mom added something to her dishes haha. and being her number one critic when she tries out something new. but again, don't think it's very feasible. need the connections which obviously i don't have. and too risky a job prospect. can't get degree for it lol. still thinking bout ambition... maybe i'd go overseas to get degree in optometry? but don't think dad can sponsor everything. scholarship? hmm... would really love to stay in singapore, but i'd need some direction soon... 3 years...
class party tml for a china scholar... hope it'd be fun. i like my class. nice bunch of guys. just too li'l girls i guess. kinda interesting seeing how all the girls will all each take a table during lessons where groups are assigned by the teachers and in 'free-seating lessons' and all five (sometimes four) will clump together at one table. i guess i just need to change my perspective a bit and not look at others through tinted glasses and the class will be most fine indeed. really respect how wan lin can seem so accomodating and 'forgiving' (?)... so if i can try my best not to view one or two people differently we have quite a fun class indeed.
seen some of the 04 first three months photos. and as much as i say i like my class and it's fun i think it's no match to that. that balancing act again of old friends vs new ones. think i'm doing it fine. bowled with some of them today. nice though my games were horrible. and we're taking lots of photos at every opportunity haha. so SOME PEOPLE think we look like idiots but who cares... we're having fun.
be yourself day ^^. first aid duty! hope it rains tml
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Random comment
saw an inspirational poster in sch today... kinda set me off thinking. it's like i've always taken them with a pinch of salt and cynicism but this time i kinda felt it was quite interesting...
and then i continued letting my mind wander off and i came up with my take on that...
'Sometimes what seems like the starting might just be the end'
Well, in my crude language lah... can't think of how to put it in the 'motivational form'... but hmm...
and then i continued letting my mind wander off and i came up with my take on that...
'Sometimes what seems like the starting might just be the end'
Well, in my crude language lah... can't think of how to put it in the 'motivational form'... but hmm...
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Random, meaningless entry #?? (lost count liao...)
just returned from aj band and co concert... kinda disappointing, both the esplanade (my first time lol) and the concert itself spare the odd piece. but nvm...
been thinking these few days... and sleeping loads as a result. long weekend's going just like tt. gpp, gp project, this concert and lots of sleep and it's back to school. not tt i dislike the sleeping part. it's great. but somehow with the weekends providing the only source of hope for each long, endearing week i'd like to do just tt li'l bit more with it. oh well...
tt's it.. dunno why i even came down here. but just felt like blogging, so, yeah...
been thinking these few days... and sleeping loads as a result. long weekend's going just like tt. gpp, gp project, this concert and lots of sleep and it's back to school. not tt i dislike the sleeping part. it's great. but somehow with the weekends providing the only source of hope for each long, endearing week i'd like to do just tt li'l bit more with it. oh well...
tt's it.. dunno why i even came down here. but just felt like blogging, so, yeah...
Friday, May 20, 2005
Door slammed shut
Hasn't been a good week has it? monday, found out tt my pi final draft was rejected yet again. 5th time i think, in addition to the additional 4/5 ideas that didn't work out either and the dozens and hundreds of ideas when thinking of a possible one...
then tuesday failed the 2.4 retest. again. 6 seconds... bleh... it was like a shock after tt... denial in face of the realisation... i was still trying to come up with all sorts of excuses why it happened but deep down i knew i was just not up to it. i am weak. i just didn't put in the determination. i just didn't have the will to train... i saw terence and ash put in the effort before and they did work out. but somehow i just couldn't muster e effort... or am unwilling to do tt. it's like i don't want to be a successful person at all, at least not how many pple see it. i don't need, don't want to be the best in everything... i'm just not a competitive person... it's nice to win, sure, but i don't see myself ever going blindly for just achievement. i'm just comfortable going about life at my own pace, putting in effort for things i like and get through for everything else. and for tt i don't expect much in return, a fair deal if you ask me. but seems like this is not gonna work in this world. i'd just have to find a way to fire up myself though i know i've found quite some trouble doing tt in the past... the only time i'm close to really putting in my full effort for something was for the o levels but even then it started to wane after the prelims... so i'd just have to come trotting back to sch during the holidays for the remedial i guess... gonna be hell but well, i asked for it. i've been unwilling to do something about the fact tt i'm weak so i shall be pushed then
double whammy... i just wanted to hit and lash out at everything then. and think i whined a big load. sorry to aaron and zhenhao for all tt. read some stuff bout some guy commenting on the growing number of whiners out there. i wonder if i fit tt description. maybe i should do sth to tone it down, but then again i fine with the way i am, at least for now. i think i complain too much sometimes i guess, but i just don't see it fit to laugh it off when i'm unhappy and bottle it all inside myself... and on the topic of bottling emotions, read an interesting article in time mag on how the female and male brain work. no one's sure bout anything but was nice to know bout this sort of stuff. the part of bio i like haha.
wednesday went to watch kingdom of heaven. never have much affinity for war movies but i liked this... can't really explain why when shiu hei started asking bout how i felt bout the movie and saying he don't like this type of movies. neither do i, but... again the futility of war... i just don't get it. it's just so worthless but still it's very much existent in our world. if only there's no need for armies... how good would tt be. and to think i'd be in ns in 2 years time, maybe even less. i hope i won't live to see war first hand. i still can't imagine myself in the battlefield fighting... i don't think i have what it takes to kill anyone, tt is if i can even do it tt is. and i don't really get those soldiers all hyped up for war and such. maybe it's cos i don't pride pride enough, guess i'm too willing to compromise most of the time. what's so bad about sacrificing a li'l within limits. and don't see the glory in sacrificing yourelf for the country etc. oh well, tt's just me. i still dunno why i think it's a good movie given how i detest war, but tt's how i think
back to pw and pe at least pi's over. idea not checked by teacher at all but i'm just happy to get over tt. and will just have to accept pe during june, train and be fitter. long weekend to take a big rest. sian, gpp and gp thingy bout homos but oh well. at the back of my mind for now
then tuesday failed the 2.4 retest. again. 6 seconds... bleh... it was like a shock after tt... denial in face of the realisation... i was still trying to come up with all sorts of excuses why it happened but deep down i knew i was just not up to it. i am weak. i just didn't put in the determination. i just didn't have the will to train... i saw terence and ash put in the effort before and they did work out. but somehow i just couldn't muster e effort... or am unwilling to do tt. it's like i don't want to be a successful person at all, at least not how many pple see it. i don't need, don't want to be the best in everything... i'm just not a competitive person... it's nice to win, sure, but i don't see myself ever going blindly for just achievement. i'm just comfortable going about life at my own pace, putting in effort for things i like and get through for everything else. and for tt i don't expect much in return, a fair deal if you ask me. but seems like this is not gonna work in this world. i'd just have to find a way to fire up myself though i know i've found quite some trouble doing tt in the past... the only time i'm close to really putting in my full effort for something was for the o levels but even then it started to wane after the prelims... so i'd just have to come trotting back to sch during the holidays for the remedial i guess... gonna be hell but well, i asked for it. i've been unwilling to do something about the fact tt i'm weak so i shall be pushed then
double whammy... i just wanted to hit and lash out at everything then. and think i whined a big load. sorry to aaron and zhenhao for all tt. read some stuff bout some guy commenting on the growing number of whiners out there. i wonder if i fit tt description. maybe i should do sth to tone it down, but then again i fine with the way i am, at least for now. i think i complain too much sometimes i guess, but i just don't see it fit to laugh it off when i'm unhappy and bottle it all inside myself... and on the topic of bottling emotions, read an interesting article in time mag on how the female and male brain work. no one's sure bout anything but was nice to know bout this sort of stuff. the part of bio i like haha.
wednesday went to watch kingdom of heaven. never have much affinity for war movies but i liked this... can't really explain why when shiu hei started asking bout how i felt bout the movie and saying he don't like this type of movies. neither do i, but... again the futility of war... i just don't get it. it's just so worthless but still it's very much existent in our world. if only there's no need for armies... how good would tt be. and to think i'd be in ns in 2 years time, maybe even less. i hope i won't live to see war first hand. i still can't imagine myself in the battlefield fighting... i don't think i have what it takes to kill anyone, tt is if i can even do it tt is. and i don't really get those soldiers all hyped up for war and such. maybe it's cos i don't pride pride enough, guess i'm too willing to compromise most of the time. what's so bad about sacrificing a li'l within limits. and don't see the glory in sacrificing yourelf for the country etc. oh well, tt's just me. i still dunno why i think it's a good movie given how i detest war, but tt's how i think
back to pw and pe at least pi's over. idea not checked by teacher at all but i'm just happy to get over tt. and will just have to accept pe during june, train and be fitter. long weekend to take a big rest. sian, gpp and gp thingy bout homos but oh well. at the back of my mind for now
Saturday, May 14, 2005
The days crawl by
As usual, the week just slowly inch towards the holy grail also known as the weekends... it's just one big ardulous journey of five days every week where every day seems to roll together into one... i don't even remember much of what happened... the basic stuff, sleeping in every other lecture, trying to stay awake in tutorials, mugging, the horrible pe, reaching home after 8, can't seem to stay awake after 12, rushing homework in the morning... there was also a debate and the first aid exco interview but neither are really mention-worthy either....
oh yeah, started an anime blog. www.kelvinnosekai.blogspot.com
too lazy to even add a simple link on the navigation bar of sorts. since i don't seem to find anything bout my life to blog i shall use this ranting energy on anime. hope it can turn out as well done as some of the others out there
think finally managed to get past the shaking of head and sighing stage... time to flip the page
oh yeah, started an anime blog. www.kelvinnosekai.blogspot.com
too lazy to even add a simple link on the navigation bar of sorts. since i don't seem to find anything bout my life to blog i shall use this ranting energy on anime. hope it can turn out as well done as some of the others out there
think finally managed to get past the shaking of head and sighing stage... time to flip the page
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Happy Birthday
Happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to my dear bloggie,
Happy birthday to you.
^_^" lol. was just checking it to see if everything's working then realised it's its first birthday haha. quite pleased and a li'l surprised i kept it for this period of time. when it started i thought that it was just gonna be one of those on-off things i get into sometimes. and for a period of time i think it seemed like i'm not gonna continue. but here it is. not updating as often as some time back or as often as i like but at least it's still pretty frequent. let's continue this journey...
-- first thoughts bout blogging in february 2004
-- 2/3 default skins, 2 customised ones (with edits ^^)
-- radical dreamers, life is like a boat, thank you, untitled and lonely no more... 5 songs i guess... hope i didn't miss out any
-- first link to site in september i think (is it?)
-- first link on site in january
-- comments opened up in dunno when haha. ~15 comments, half of which i think are my own...
i hope it'd stay long enough to see how it grows come next birthday
happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to my dear bloggie,
Happy birthday to you.
^_^" lol. was just checking it to see if everything's working then realised it's its first birthday haha. quite pleased and a li'l surprised i kept it for this period of time. when it started i thought that it was just gonna be one of those on-off things i get into sometimes. and for a period of time i think it seemed like i'm not gonna continue. but here it is. not updating as often as some time back or as often as i like but at least it's still pretty frequent. let's continue this journey...
-- first thoughts bout blogging in february 2004
-- 2/3 default skins, 2 customised ones (with edits ^^)
-- radical dreamers, life is like a boat, thank you, untitled and lonely no more... 5 songs i guess... hope i didn't miss out any
-- first link to site in september i think (is it?)
-- first link on site in january
-- comments opened up in dunno when haha. ~15 comments, half of which i think are my own...
i hope it'd stay long enough to see how it grows come next birthday
Today
just another day i guess, but felt like blogging it. had first aid. starting to really enjoy it and not for the slacking. exco interviews from friday. hope can get in. qigong dashi conducting them. yay! lol, that is if i don't fail the physics test. only gripes bout the club's tt it's a few people too big and there are some irritating pple imo, but nothing much.
after that, plan was between mugging and movie. shiu hei for movie, so chairman gets the decision haha. no lah, library was full. just when we were starting to know paul and i wanted to start asking him to help us book tables he had to leave. oh well. nowadays so many pple in lib... called lymon to join us. didn't talk much but just nice to see him. pacifier... pretty funny movie. vin diesel actually acted well haha. he should just stop all action. xxx2 just don't seem xxx though, at least the posters. not planning to watch it anyway. so one of the big five i wanna watch down haha. now sahara, coach carter, kingdom of heaven and hitchhiker (anyone know when's it's gonna open?) left...
wanna play guild wars, but don't seem to fit in any time for it. aaron tempted too haha. let's see in the next few days... didn't mug today. oh no. homework. but i seem to complain every other day anyway. let's see what tml brings
after that, plan was between mugging and movie. shiu hei for movie, so chairman gets the decision haha. no lah, library was full. just when we were starting to know paul and i wanted to start asking him to help us book tables he had to leave. oh well. nowadays so many pple in lib... called lymon to join us. didn't talk much but just nice to see him. pacifier... pretty funny movie. vin diesel actually acted well haha. he should just stop all action. xxx2 just don't seem xxx though, at least the posters. not planning to watch it anyway. so one of the big five i wanna watch down haha. now sahara, coach carter, kingdom of heaven and hitchhiker (anyone know when's it's gonna open?) left...
wanna play guild wars, but don't seem to fit in any time for it. aaron tempted too haha. let's see in the next few days... didn't mug today. oh no. homework. but i seem to complain every other day anyway. let's see what tml brings
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Something stirred, something struck
Lonely No More/Rob Thomas
Now it seems to me
That you know just what to say
Words are only words
Can you show me something else
Can you swear to me that you'll always be this way
Show me how you feel
More than ever baby
[Chorus:]
I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't wanna have to pay for this
I don't want to know the lover at my door
Is just another heartache on my list
I don't wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don't want to be lonely anymore
Now its hard for me with my heart still on the mend
Open up to me, like you do your girlfriends
And you sing to me and it's harmony
Girl, what you do to me is everything
Make me say anything; just to get you back again
Why can we just try
[Chorus:]
I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't wanna have to pay for this
I don't want to know the lover at my door
Is just another heartache on my list
I don't wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don't want to be lonely anymore
What if I was good to you, what if you were good to me
What if I could hold you till I feel you move inside of me
What if it was paradise, what if we were symphonies
What if I gave all my life to find some way to stand beside you
[Chorus:]
I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't wanna have to pay for this
I don't want to know the lover at my door
Is just another heartache on my list
I don't wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don't want to be lonely anymore
I don't wanna be lonely anymore [x3]
Now it seems to me
That you know just what to say
Words are only words
Can you show me something else
Can you swear to me that you'll always be this way
Show me how you feel
More than ever baby
[Chorus:]
I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't wanna have to pay for this
I don't want to know the lover at my door
Is just another heartache on my list
I don't wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don't want to be lonely anymore
Now its hard for me with my heart still on the mend
Open up to me, like you do your girlfriends
And you sing to me and it's harmony
Girl, what you do to me is everything
Make me say anything; just to get you back again
Why can we just try
[Chorus:]
I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't wanna have to pay for this
I don't want to know the lover at my door
Is just another heartache on my list
I don't wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don't want to be lonely anymore
What if I was good to you, what if you were good to me
What if I could hold you till I feel you move inside of me
What if it was paradise, what if we were symphonies
What if I gave all my life to find some way to stand beside you
[Chorus:]
I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't wanna have to pay for this
I don't want to know the lover at my door
Is just another heartache on my list
I don't wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don't want to be lonely anymore
I don't wanna be lonely anymore [x3]
Monday, May 02, 2005
Somebody told me...
[edit: sorry for the expletives... don't continue if it offends...]
I think i'm too soft, perhaps... well, i never like being aggressive and making things difficult for everyone anyway. what's so bad bout taking that step back and compromise to avoid things apiralling out of hand i always think. in fact, i think the only time i really went into a rage was tt time with dad... come to think of it, was kinda scary then. both of us had fists ready already before the shove ended things thankfully... the spoiled sliding door in the bathroom is still there, testament to that day. haha, to think it seemed so trivial now... other times it's just been limited to a scowl or just walking off i think. i should be happy with that i guess, but well, i'm not...
there's just so many times where i feel like a freaking bastard who just can't make a firm stand to save my goddamned ass. why am i still saying sorries, thank yous and no problems when i should be cursing others with spite and scorn. why can't i bring myself to hate when others do so easily but try to take out the good points instead... why am i so ready to forgive sometimes when others don't even bother to come up with a moronic, lame-ass reason...
i'm tired of accomodating, tired of feeling guilty whenever i decide to go about my selfish ways, tired of playing by some freakin' idiotic principles i made up myself while others just do it however they want blatantly... i don't want to waver again after making my stupid decision on what i wanna do, at least not cos of some insignificant things
mind, it's not like i no longer want to help others anymore. i still do. i want to be there when my friends need me, i want to make a difference to someone's life and keep making others' days. but to those accursed jackasses, just fuck off. why should i try so hard when they don't care.
i'd probably get over this soon. i can never stay angry for long. but for now, just let me revel in being pissed off and ranting my head off bout those idiots. i'm not a saint i know, and i readily admit to harbouring mild distastes towards certain people. but at least i don't go bout pretentiously and mislead others. or so i think. i wonder if others think tt i'm a numbskull or what. the very minimal one can do when pretending is to at least cover up the tracks half-decent. and if tt was intentional, why don't just spit it in my face...
no more reining myself in next time i see that damned pompous attitude. stop whining when all tt'd happened is cos of what you did. don't you expect any concern, bitch... nice guy. heh
I think i'm too soft, perhaps... well, i never like being aggressive and making things difficult for everyone anyway. what's so bad bout taking that step back and compromise to avoid things apiralling out of hand i always think. in fact, i think the only time i really went into a rage was tt time with dad... come to think of it, was kinda scary then. both of us had fists ready already before the shove ended things thankfully... the spoiled sliding door in the bathroom is still there, testament to that day. haha, to think it seemed so trivial now... other times it's just been limited to a scowl or just walking off i think. i should be happy with that i guess, but well, i'm not...
there's just so many times where i feel like a freaking bastard who just can't make a firm stand to save my goddamned ass. why am i still saying sorries, thank yous and no problems when i should be cursing others with spite and scorn. why can't i bring myself to hate when others do so easily but try to take out the good points instead... why am i so ready to forgive sometimes when others don't even bother to come up with a moronic, lame-ass reason...
i'm tired of accomodating, tired of feeling guilty whenever i decide to go about my selfish ways, tired of playing by some freakin' idiotic principles i made up myself while others just do it however they want blatantly... i don't want to waver again after making my stupid decision on what i wanna do, at least not cos of some insignificant things
mind, it's not like i no longer want to help others anymore. i still do. i want to be there when my friends need me, i want to make a difference to someone's life and keep making others' days. but to those accursed jackasses, just fuck off. why should i try so hard when they don't care.
i'd probably get over this soon. i can never stay angry for long. but for now, just let me revel in being pissed off and ranting my head off bout those idiots. i'm not a saint i know, and i readily admit to harbouring mild distastes towards certain people. but at least i don't go bout pretentiously and mislead others. or so i think. i wonder if others think tt i'm a numbskull or what. the very minimal one can do when pretending is to at least cover up the tracks half-decent. and if tt was intentional, why don't just spit it in my face...
no more reining myself in next time i see that damned pompous attitude. stop whining when all tt'd happened is cos of what you did. don't you expect any concern, bitch... nice guy. heh
