Saturday, January 31, 2009
Been far away for far too long
so i was back in it again after a seven, eight week exile. i guess something has to feel the void, doesn't it
(and for those who know of the song: no, i'm not going brokeback)
(and for those who know of the song: no, i'm not going brokeback)
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Day 1
Ok. so the hunt starts today... (ok, last night to be most exact, but who cares)... and just two hours in i have this imagery in my mind of I.P. man already (ok. i'm deliberately misspelling and mispronouncing it as usual, but he just have the coolest name ever. you have batman, superman, spiderman, yes man and then you have I.P. man...)
ok.. so yeah... it's like how back in the good ol' days he was totally enjoying life and all. he was good at what he does and never has to do much to live comfortably and enjoyably. war came, and before he knows it he's out in the coal fields, working for the first time in his life and all.
i'm such a drama king
ok.. so yeah... it's like how back in the good ol' days he was totally enjoying life and all. he was good at what he does and never has to do much to live comfortably and enjoyably. war came, and before he knows it he's out in the coal fields, working for the first time in his life and all.
i'm such a drama king
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Random, random
ok. this is the 25 random stuff that has been going around fb... weilong tagged me on this one. i usually totally won't bother, but well... here goes...
1) i'm surprised i am writing this. normally i don't even care bout such stuff. but oh well... i've been pretty guai lan over some nus engin thingy recently so i'd be nice here
2) starfruit and green apple juice rocks
3) things i've fantasised myself as when i was younger (ok. i still do that from time to time. but that's a secret) have been football/bball star, football manager, rock star among other things (i guess/hope that's pretty normal)
4) i live in my own world. up in my head. pardon me if u don't understand what i'm talking bout sometimes... my brain isn't made up of words sadly, more like abstract ideas and imagery here and there
5) i will beat most people in a game of who-can-slack-the-longest, surviving without needing to do much at all
6) i don't even remember my own bday once, so don't expect me to remember yours
7) i live for the simple pleasures of life... nice, simple food; naps and sleeping late, etc etc
8) i can sleep anywhere, anytime. loads of thanks to army and sch for that
9) i sleep a lot in lectures and all, but when i am awake i actually listen to what the lecturer is saying (unless he/she sucks)
10) i can only get work done outside home. preferably some place with a nice coffee aroma all over
11) i was addicted to coke (as in, the drink) once during p sch. after that, it has been coffee taking over my life during the o and a level periods. i'm much better now i hope. it's just a nice drink now
12) one is never too full for dessert
13) aftertaste is one of the most important aspect of a really nice food. too many good tasting food fails to achieve greatness because the aftertaste just isn't too savoury... many times u'd see me going to supermarkets to get a drink after a meal just to wash those tastes away
14) and to wash away tastes, nothing is better than a&w cream soda (think only some cold storages have them. go try it out if u get the chance)
15) getting lost (while adventuring and exploring) is pretty fun
16) my bball coach insists i'm left handed
17) i write and generally do most things with my right hand
18) but then again, if i were to swing a golf or baseball club, i will swing it on my left (same for hockey sticks though u're not supposed to)
19) i hate running. totally
20) if you want me to read your (non-fiction) book, you totally need a snazzy title, something interesting and out of the norm. "Make money in 30 days", get lost totally
21) i joined a scrabble competition during sec sch. play with me one day =)
22) i like mindless comedies. so kill me
23) i have "fa cai meng"s once in a while. one day i'd strike it rich!
24) when/if i get a car, the first things i will zhng (modify) are paddle shifts (gear change behind the steering wheel) and 2X power shift more than normal (steering wheel will reach maximum lock after 3 quarter of a turn). yes, i'm such an f1 nut
25) i don't like XXX just because it's too popular is one thing i've found myself saying a lot of times
26) and yes. i'm feeling so nice today i'm actually adding one more random note than required. and that is to say i'm not tagging anyone to follow this up. enjoy
1) i'm surprised i am writing this. normally i don't even care bout such stuff. but oh well... i've been pretty guai lan over some nus engin thingy recently so i'd be nice here
2) starfruit and green apple juice rocks
3) things i've fantasised myself as when i was younger (ok. i still do that from time to time. but that's a secret) have been football/bball star, football manager, rock star among other things (i guess/hope that's pretty normal)
4) i live in my own world. up in my head. pardon me if u don't understand what i'm talking bout sometimes... my brain isn't made up of words sadly, more like abstract ideas and imagery here and there
5) i will beat most people in a game of who-can-slack-the-longest, surviving without needing to do much at all
6) i don't even remember my own bday once, so don't expect me to remember yours
7) i live for the simple pleasures of life... nice, simple food; naps and sleeping late, etc etc
8) i can sleep anywhere, anytime. loads of thanks to army and sch for that
9) i sleep a lot in lectures and all, but when i am awake i actually listen to what the lecturer is saying (unless he/she sucks)
10) i can only get work done outside home. preferably some place with a nice coffee aroma all over
11) i was addicted to coke (as in, the drink) once during p sch. after that, it has been coffee taking over my life during the o and a level periods. i'm much better now i hope. it's just a nice drink now
12) one is never too full for dessert
13) aftertaste is one of the most important aspect of a really nice food. too many good tasting food fails to achieve greatness because the aftertaste just isn't too savoury... many times u'd see me going to supermarkets to get a drink after a meal just to wash those tastes away
14) and to wash away tastes, nothing is better than a&w cream soda (think only some cold storages have them. go try it out if u get the chance)
15) getting lost (while adventuring and exploring) is pretty fun
16) my bball coach insists i'm left handed
17) i write and generally do most things with my right hand
18) but then again, if i were to swing a golf or baseball club, i will swing it on my left (same for hockey sticks though u're not supposed to)
19) i hate running. totally
20) if you want me to read your (non-fiction) book, you totally need a snazzy title, something interesting and out of the norm. "Make money in 30 days", get lost totally
21) i joined a scrabble competition during sec sch. play with me one day =)
22) i like mindless comedies. so kill me
23) i have "fa cai meng"s once in a while. one day i'd strike it rich!
24) when/if i get a car, the first things i will zhng (modify) are paddle shifts (gear change behind the steering wheel) and 2X power shift more than normal (steering wheel will reach maximum lock after 3 quarter of a turn). yes, i'm such an f1 nut
25) i don't like XXX just because it's too popular is one thing i've found myself saying a lot of times
26) and yes. i'm feeling so nice today i'm actually adding one more random note than required. and that is to say i'm not tagging anyone to follow this up. enjoy
Friday, January 23, 2009
My Album
i've had the time to listen to a lot of my song collection recently... after a year plus of not really into them i'm starting to get the hang back. so for this post, it shall be a tribute to some of the songs that have been with me for a while, some newer songs here and there
good songs are always just round the corner. but i've always admired artistes that manage to put out great albums... for me, a great album lies not just in a certain number of really good songs. the song order matter as much and all... picking out song orders are just like picking the order for a baseball batting lineup imo. u start with sth sure, proceed to your big hitters and then round it up. what's diff from baseball is that you'd want to round it up with a very good song too. but on a lighter note. i know u2 often end with something more spiritual... i prefer a more sombre, comtemplative tone and all...
so what i'm doing here on a whim is just to piece together my own best-of "album". of course, what with only adding my favourite songs i can't do too good of a job arranging them here and there but that's the way i would order them. i'd see this also as sth of a thanks to those who share similar musical tastes as i do and have introduced me to many nice songs (some below are probably introduced by someone)
turn away if u have totally differing tastes. this is pretty much a nothing better to do post. but otherwise, almost all songs (i think only straightjacket feeling and back home are the exceptions) have been a top 40 hit at some point in time so u've probably heard them. otherwise, it's just a youtube and google away. can also find me if u want the songs and stuff...
so here goes...
1) Sweetness - Jimmy Eat World
-- I'd start with an upbeat song. First encountered it on some NHL game. Got jimmy eat world's album, and ever since it has been the song that i will play in my head whenever i need sth inside while running or anything (not like i run often, but yeah)
2) Somewhere Only We Know - Keane
-- It was either this or "Everybody's Changing" to represent Keane here. Hopes and Fear was just a fantastic album. Especially liked how they conveyed the feeling of longing for something in this song
3) Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard
-- I won't say much. Spots number 3 and 4. where u put your best, big hitters. your Barry Bonds and all. My fave song. ever. been with me through many periods of my life. Go listen to it
4) City of Blinding Lights - U2
-- Another big fave of mine. The wide-eyed wonder of it was totally captured in the song. something to listen to when just got totally into sth. and even when that hasn't happened, it's still a great song
5) Africa - Toto
The oldie here mixed within all the late 90s and turn of the millenium songs. Heck, it's older than me by a whole 5 years. But good stuff here
6) I Don't Care - Fall Out Boys
-- I have to admit fall out boys don't rank as high as some of the other bands/singers on this list. Dance, Dance was a great song but overall most of their songs are in the nice to listen but hardly memorable or groundbreaking category. Recently got into this song. and the MTV was nice. dang. and talking bout MTV i realised there's so many other good MTV songs that i should fit into this list but don't have the space... other personal fave MTVs include Ocean Avenue and You and Me; and talking about MTVs you just have to talk bout Walkie Talkie Man. Youtube is your best friend here heh
7) That's Why - Michael Learns to Rock
MLtR has come out with loads of nice sing-along hits. That's Why's my fave (followed very closely by paint my love, but that's another story) so it earns its place here
8) Blind - Lifehouse
-- It was between this and You and Me. i think You and me was the better song overall, but even before it got radio play and stuff i've liked blind from the outset after getting their album.
9) You Found Me - The Fray
My latest fave song that i have set on repeat mode some days. i'm so gonna get their new album come february when it's out. great song. loved the almost begging feel when they croon "where were you" and "you found me"...
10) Disenchanted - My Chemical Romance
-- As usual with almost all My Chemical Romance's songs, the lyrics here is rubbish. but that said, i thought Disenchanted is probably the best named song i've ever heard. i don't think the word is even mentioned in the whole song. but even before looking at the title when it came on on my ipod the first few times i could totally feel the disenchantment the song portrayed. For good or bad, disillusion is probably one of the my most frequent negative feelings encountered (not that i have it frequently, but when i'm down there's a good chance it's that). The song i turn to in those cases
11) Straightjacket Feeling - The All-American Rejects
AAR has come out with loads of catchy, very sing-along-able songs (swing, swing; it ends tonight and move along comes to mind) but i'm going with sth a little different here. a different approach from their usual repertoire, but works totally great
12) Perfect - Simple Plan
-- Even if their usual songs are often just good but never great, one thing i've liked bout simple plan is how well they wrap up their albums, especially with perfect on No pads, no helmets, just... and untitled on still not getting any. and if back home wasn't around perfect will definitely have wrapped up "my" album. it refers to "dad" in the song, but replace that with anyone in mine and it totally fits for loads of situations in life
13) Back Home - Yellowcard
-- i don't think many people know of this song. but i totally love it. definitely in my top 5 top songs. i like how it gives me the feeling of going out, searching for success and all, getting it, and then realising what you actually want is sth closer to home, sth closer to your heart. a great song to wrap any day/incident/album up. go check it out
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and that wraps it up. found out we actually share similar musical tastes through this? we can share songs over msn and stuff heh. find me also if can't find any of the songs around. other than that, i'm off
good songs are always just round the corner. but i've always admired artistes that manage to put out great albums... for me, a great album lies not just in a certain number of really good songs. the song order matter as much and all... picking out song orders are just like picking the order for a baseball batting lineup imo. u start with sth sure, proceed to your big hitters and then round it up. what's diff from baseball is that you'd want to round it up with a very good song too. but on a lighter note. i know u2 often end with something more spiritual... i prefer a more sombre, comtemplative tone and all...
so what i'm doing here on a whim is just to piece together my own best-of "album". of course, what with only adding my favourite songs i can't do too good of a job arranging them here and there but that's the way i would order them. i'd see this also as sth of a thanks to those who share similar musical tastes as i do and have introduced me to many nice songs (some below are probably introduced by someone)
turn away if u have totally differing tastes. this is pretty much a nothing better to do post. but otherwise, almost all songs (i think only straightjacket feeling and back home are the exceptions) have been a top 40 hit at some point in time so u've probably heard them. otherwise, it's just a youtube and google away. can also find me if u want the songs and stuff...
so here goes...
1) Sweetness - Jimmy Eat World
-- I'd start with an upbeat song. First encountered it on some NHL game. Got jimmy eat world's album, and ever since it has been the song that i will play in my head whenever i need sth inside while running or anything (not like i run often, but yeah)
2) Somewhere Only We Know - Keane
-- It was either this or "Everybody's Changing" to represent Keane here. Hopes and Fear was just a fantastic album. Especially liked how they conveyed the feeling of longing for something in this song
3) Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard
-- I won't say much. Spots number 3 and 4. where u put your best, big hitters. your Barry Bonds and all. My fave song. ever. been with me through many periods of my life. Go listen to it
4) City of Blinding Lights - U2
-- Another big fave of mine. The wide-eyed wonder of it was totally captured in the song. something to listen to when just got totally into sth. and even when that hasn't happened, it's still a great song
5) Africa - Toto
The oldie here mixed within all the late 90s and turn of the millenium songs. Heck, it's older than me by a whole 5 years. But good stuff here
6) I Don't Care - Fall Out Boys
-- I have to admit fall out boys don't rank as high as some of the other bands/singers on this list. Dance, Dance was a great song but overall most of their songs are in the nice to listen but hardly memorable or groundbreaking category. Recently got into this song. and the MTV was nice. dang. and talking bout MTV i realised there's so many other good MTV songs that i should fit into this list but don't have the space... other personal fave MTVs include Ocean Avenue and You and Me; and talking about MTVs you just have to talk bout Walkie Talkie Man. Youtube is your best friend here heh
7) That's Why - Michael Learns to Rock
MLtR has come out with loads of nice sing-along hits. That's Why's my fave (followed very closely by paint my love, but that's another story) so it earns its place here
8) Blind - Lifehouse
-- It was between this and You and Me. i think You and me was the better song overall, but even before it got radio play and stuff i've liked blind from the outset after getting their album.
9) You Found Me - The Fray
My latest fave song that i have set on repeat mode some days. i'm so gonna get their new album come february when it's out. great song. loved the almost begging feel when they croon "where were you" and "you found me"...
10) Disenchanted - My Chemical Romance
-- As usual with almost all My Chemical Romance's songs, the lyrics here is rubbish. but that said, i thought Disenchanted is probably the best named song i've ever heard. i don't think the word is even mentioned in the whole song. but even before looking at the title when it came on on my ipod the first few times i could totally feel the disenchantment the song portrayed. For good or bad, disillusion is probably one of the my most frequent negative feelings encountered (not that i have it frequently, but when i'm down there's a good chance it's that). The song i turn to in those cases
11) Straightjacket Feeling - The All-American Rejects
AAR has come out with loads of catchy, very sing-along-able songs (swing, swing; it ends tonight and move along comes to mind) but i'm going with sth a little different here. a different approach from their usual repertoire, but works totally great
12) Perfect - Simple Plan
-- Even if their usual songs are often just good but never great, one thing i've liked bout simple plan is how well they wrap up their albums, especially with perfect on No pads, no helmets, just... and untitled on still not getting any. and if back home wasn't around perfect will definitely have wrapped up "my" album. it refers to "dad" in the song, but replace that with anyone in mine and it totally fits for loads of situations in life
13) Back Home - Yellowcard
-- i don't think many people know of this song. but i totally love it. definitely in my top 5 top songs. i like how it gives me the feeling of going out, searching for success and all, getting it, and then realising what you actually want is sth closer to home, sth closer to your heart. a great song to wrap any day/incident/album up. go check it out
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and that wraps it up. found out we actually share similar musical tastes through this? we can share songs over msn and stuff heh. find me also if can't find any of the songs around. other than that, i'm off
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Life's simple pleasures...
haven't had coffee since e fateful stomachache 6th jan... ok, maybe three cups of coffee for five shots total was a bit too much for one afternoon... but still...
been up before 11 for a week already cos of various reasons... some willing, some not so willing and now starting to not be able to sleep til too late
haven't drank for bout a month now since i spilled that red on my white tee. (the super diluted xo at jun liang's party doesn't count)
stopped betting since syc
and recently, started to feel i'm getting too old to LaSG!
darn. i'm losing touch with so many of life's simple pleasures haha. they just need to take away eating and afternoon naps and i'd be left with nothing. time to start rearing birds and playing chess...
been up before 11 for a week already cos of various reasons... some willing, some not so willing and now starting to not be able to sleep til too late
haven't drank for bout a month now since i spilled that red on my white tee. (the super diluted xo at jun liang's party doesn't count)
stopped betting since syc
and recently, started to feel i'm getting too old to LaSG!
darn. i'm losing touch with so many of life's simple pleasures haha. they just need to take away eating and afternoon naps and i'd be left with nothing. time to start rearing birds and playing chess...
Monday, January 19, 2009
And white is the new black
i'm all for frankness and honesty
but sometimes i simply have to say i prefer white lies (if done well and dosen't let the cat out of the bag) and blissful ignorance...
later edit: (i was going for sth small and impactful, but heck that. i'm in ranting mood now.. but i'd keep it short)
information is such a drug... you crave its power, and my, is it a powerful thing in it. you finally obtained it, the momentary gift of the upper hand is sweet as hell, but no, chances are you're not powerful enough to control it and have it tucked nicely under your belt. it ravages you.
you're experienced now. you went cold turkey. yes, you're out of the game, you thought. but no. someone just throws it straight in your face. or maybe it's just an unknowing package left by the wayside that piqued your curiousity. you're sucked right back in. enjoy your power now, cos before you know it you'd be back for more...
but sometimes i simply have to say i prefer white lies (if done well and dosen't let the cat out of the bag) and blissful ignorance...
later edit: (i was going for sth small and impactful, but heck that. i'm in ranting mood now.. but i'd keep it short)
information is such a drug... you crave its power, and my, is it a powerful thing in it. you finally obtained it, the momentary gift of the upper hand is sweet as hell, but no, chances are you're not powerful enough to control it and have it tucked nicely under your belt. it ravages you.
you're experienced now. you went cold turkey. yes, you're out of the game, you thought. but no. someone just throws it straight in your face. or maybe it's just an unknowing package left by the wayside that piqued your curiousity. you're sucked right back in. enjoy your power now, cos before you know it you'd be back for more...
Thursday, January 15, 2009
First musings of 09
it's funny how it's 2 digits into jan already... just a li'l less than a month back i was starting to blog again and everything. and had plans to do resolutions/things to look forward to in 09 when i fell sick then everything went way off... the list became more like "food i wanna eat" so i scrapped it. retried the list thing recently but i've like started to clear and tick off some of them already so decided to forget it...
i guess quite a lot has happened since last i was here... good or bad i don't know.. but interesting definitely... slowly everyone's been getting on with their lives and all... some back to sch, some found work, some back in army and everything... suddenly it's like i'm the only one left (ok, there's ash the other slacker too) with nothing going on and nothing on the horizon even.. but i'm fine with that. retirement life is totally for me and i'm one of the few people who can totally slack and while a day away. but it's kinda weird also. how it's like my timeline totally defer from others. like how my time seems to pass slower and i can notice more things than others (lol. kinda like those drama shows where some deity comes to the mortal world and watch while the humans age)
but past few days have been interesting to say the least. but oh well... i'm not really into the note down what i've done mood. but today went out with an old friend... an incident make me think of a lot of stuff.. ok, i was thinking of quite a lot already before i met him. kinda uncanny how some of the stuff i was thinking bout came up to be things i'd reflect on later
so, yeah. new year resolutions. i haven't specially made them since bout four or five years ago, being more of the just plan as things go type so i know i'd not keep them.. but i guess i can say the motto of the past two of three years can be regarded as my new year resolution for those years. and i'm continuing with it. "Enjoy the simple things in life. Smell the roses along the way". The simpler life indeed...
i reiterate what i've always said a lot over here. i may always complain and moan bout a lot of stuff but deep down i'm actually contented and satisfied with a lot of things that has happened in my life. i've been quite blessed my whole life and lady luck has generally been with me and i've come out good in most crucial situations so i know i'm happy. i hope this can continue and i'd learn to appreciate more of the small but significant things i haven't learnt to yet
and after my musing on the train and everything i'd add one more for 09. continue building on my faith in myself, my friends, and everything i stand for... regulars of this place will know religion and my lack of it is one topic i've always loved to touch on but usually just brush through cos it's way freaking hard to write bout it while still being sensitive and insightful. i don't think i am anywhere near that now anyway also (i might try a full entry on that one of these days but don't bank on it)
but yeah... to feel others in. i've always admired the power religions have been able to harness and bring about. it's absolutely phenomenal. but sadly, i don't really agree and subscribe to most of their views. so as a non-believer, i've always wondered and mused bout how we too can harness such incredible energy... it's nice to blindly believe in something. it's amazing how much strength people have been able to draw from religion, be it when they are down in their deepest trenches or just ordinary people going bout their everyday lives.
what i will do when everything around me falls apart is one question i ask myself occasionaly. when u find out that everything u have done has failed, and everything else has failed you, who will you turn to? i put myself in other people's shoes and i can see that religion can indeed be a powerful thing to hang on to for many people. having a great grandfather with a spiritual experience during WWII probably reinforced that for me
but no, i'm a deep non-believer. i'm starting to call myself a secular humanist rather than a free thinker even. it all started early in secondary school when i found that term. started out as a joke cos it sounded cool. tried it on one evangelist once. could see him all stumped when the last few times when i got approached by them i could so totally swear i saw their eyes light up when i say i'm a free thinker
ok. but read a bit more bout it recently (recently as in past few years)... it's a very disjointed group with a lot of differing views, and while there are some things i don't agree with i can totally identify myself with many parts and the main gist of it. basically, how i feel bout humanism is the belief in the human spirit: the ability and strength of us to overcome obstacles. of course, there's the evolution stuff too but belief is what i like to talk more about
and at the center of it all is belief in yourself. i'd like to think i've gone a long way since last time. can still quite vividly remember the teenage angst (i like to call it that haha) i went through from bout p5 to sec 2-3 approx... um. ok. i lazy to elaborate. when i look back i find myself way different from back then. it's like...
(ok i'm exhausted. this is supposed to link to some musing and reflections on ambition and drive. which was supposed to be the main point of today. but i'd leave this hanging on like this. hopefully will come back tml. but no guarantees. til then...)
i guess quite a lot has happened since last i was here... good or bad i don't know.. but interesting definitely... slowly everyone's been getting on with their lives and all... some back to sch, some found work, some back in army and everything... suddenly it's like i'm the only one left (ok, there's ash the other slacker too) with nothing going on and nothing on the horizon even.. but i'm fine with that. retirement life is totally for me and i'm one of the few people who can totally slack and while a day away. but it's kinda weird also. how it's like my timeline totally defer from others. like how my time seems to pass slower and i can notice more things than others (lol. kinda like those drama shows where some deity comes to the mortal world and watch while the humans age)
but past few days have been interesting to say the least. but oh well... i'm not really into the note down what i've done mood. but today went out with an old friend... an incident make me think of a lot of stuff.. ok, i was thinking of quite a lot already before i met him. kinda uncanny how some of the stuff i was thinking bout came up to be things i'd reflect on later
so, yeah. new year resolutions. i haven't specially made them since bout four or five years ago, being more of the just plan as things go type so i know i'd not keep them.. but i guess i can say the motto of the past two of three years can be regarded as my new year resolution for those years. and i'm continuing with it. "Enjoy the simple things in life. Smell the roses along the way". The simpler life indeed...
i reiterate what i've always said a lot over here. i may always complain and moan bout a lot of stuff but deep down i'm actually contented and satisfied with a lot of things that has happened in my life. i've been quite blessed my whole life and lady luck has generally been with me and i've come out good in most crucial situations so i know i'm happy. i hope this can continue and i'd learn to appreciate more of the small but significant things i haven't learnt to yet
and after my musing on the train and everything i'd add one more for 09. continue building on my faith in myself, my friends, and everything i stand for... regulars of this place will know religion and my lack of it is one topic i've always loved to touch on but usually just brush through cos it's way freaking hard to write bout it while still being sensitive and insightful. i don't think i am anywhere near that now anyway also (i might try a full entry on that one of these days but don't bank on it)
but yeah... to feel others in. i've always admired the power religions have been able to harness and bring about. it's absolutely phenomenal. but sadly, i don't really agree and subscribe to most of their views. so as a non-believer, i've always wondered and mused bout how we too can harness such incredible energy... it's nice to blindly believe in something. it's amazing how much strength people have been able to draw from religion, be it when they are down in their deepest trenches or just ordinary people going bout their everyday lives.
what i will do when everything around me falls apart is one question i ask myself occasionaly. when u find out that everything u have done has failed, and everything else has failed you, who will you turn to? i put myself in other people's shoes and i can see that religion can indeed be a powerful thing to hang on to for many people. having a great grandfather with a spiritual experience during WWII probably reinforced that for me
but no, i'm a deep non-believer. i'm starting to call myself a secular humanist rather than a free thinker even. it all started early in secondary school when i found that term. started out as a joke cos it sounded cool. tried it on one evangelist once. could see him all stumped when the last few times when i got approached by them i could so totally swear i saw their eyes light up when i say i'm a free thinker
ok. but read a bit more bout it recently (recently as in past few years)... it's a very disjointed group with a lot of differing views, and while there are some things i don't agree with i can totally identify myself with many parts and the main gist of it. basically, how i feel bout humanism is the belief in the human spirit: the ability and strength of us to overcome obstacles. of course, there's the evolution stuff too but belief is what i like to talk more about
and at the center of it all is belief in yourself. i'd like to think i've gone a long way since last time. can still quite vividly remember the teenage angst (i like to call it that haha) i went through from bout p5 to sec 2-3 approx... um. ok. i lazy to elaborate. when i look back i find myself way different from back then. it's like...
(ok i'm exhausted. this is supposed to link to some musing and reflections on ambition and drive. which was supposed to be the main point of today. but i'd leave this hanging on like this. hopefully will come back tml. but no guarantees. til then...)
