The simpler life...

hmm... i started writing some comments bout ms in flaring up over the 'fish' assignment last wednesday and the sexuality education programme on saturday but didn't really get around to finishing it. couldn't exactly find the right words. so well, guess i'm deleting the draft. all i'd say is just how brainwashing and preachy the sexuality education programme was. the guy must be a pastor man. and the ideas put forth were so religious (though they never spelt it out). what happened to our secular education system? and as if that wasn't enough, forcing those ideas upon us and making us vow and condemn stuff. boquan actually checked up the organisation conducting the talk and found it linked to a catholic group. wasn't tt obvious... at least the talk gave me some fire if i am ever to write bout pro-choice vs pro-life in gp

k, so now on to my life recently. and i can't express how satisfied and content i am nowadays. only for a brief period of bout two days last week was i feeling down and grumpy... 23 out of 25 days... my, i guess life was never this good before.

i'm still complaining vocally bout everything and anything that happens in my life. and waking up dreading going to sch and going home dreading the homework that i have to do but never get around to doing until lectures and breaks the next day. but deep down i can tell myself i'm contented. wonder why things have been going so well for me. and i'm savouring every moment. still remember quite a few weeks ago kenneh was whining bout how down he was and i was like 'you'd get over it soon... look at me, ain't i happy now?' or sth along those lines. it was said kinda jokingly but right after i said that it resonated in my heart and i thought how i'm actually saying it from the bottom of my heart. looming deadlines that i know i can never meet but still put the things off til the last minute still worries me (science research and certain first aid stuff comes to mind even though hw seem to have lost its sense of urgency). but there's this peace and serenity which i can't explain...

also thought bout several things in life that has contributed to this state of psuedo-bliss. and i guess coffee and wine are definitely two of them. if only i had a nice, big bathtub and it'd be perfect... i was just wondering how much more beautiful life can be for me now (even though it's already really beautiful) if i can have a bathtub at home.

first, coffee during the day. the perfect drink to let you last the day. not so much keep you awake but more of how it slows you down (well, at least it seems to slow down my heartbeat and etc) letting you just take things one thing at a time without the need to rush bout mindlessly. the world around me seems to go into slow-mo when i drink coffee and i can take the time to muse bout the wonders of life and smell the roses along the way while handling the more mundane stuff like homework. homework never seem so much the chore when you're in a relatively empty cafe by yourself and admiring the tranquility around you.

then the bathtub will come in handy after reaching home. i guess i must have blogged bout it gazillion number of times but i'd do it again. somehow bathtubs have this miracle effect of letting you forget what you were thinking off. just experienced that in syc and can't wait to get into one again. and it's like those hot springs in japan except you can stay in the bath for hours and even fall asleep in it without risking your life. it's like baths have such a different effect from showers. when i'm angry, i'd like to turn the shower on as powerful as possible and put it close to the head/face, letting the water (either piping hot or freezing cold depending on the mood) just pour for a few minutes. it makes the emotions more distinct. makes me voice out (figuratively i mean) what's making me angry. kinda let venting my anger. but the bathtub with the slightly-below-pipin'-hot temperature. once i go in it's 'ahhh...' and kinda instinctively forget whatever's on my mind. things slow down to a halt and i can just enjoy the bath for at least half and hour without anything in particular in my mind. well, i'm the escapist so no points for guessing which i prefer.

and finally the wine. wine's best at night. heck bout dessert wines or what the connoiseurs say bout pairing it with food. i like it at bout 11+, 12. a while before my usual bedtime. and like to drink just enough (normally a glass) until the face feels flushed and i can feel my heart beating slightly faster. that feeling... godly... wine. the direct opposite to coffee. at least to me. coffee to slow you down and start the day. wine to end it and fastens the heart beat. oh, and coffee makes one urinate less while wine does the opposite. i like the flushed feeling and the heart beating faster. it kinda induces the drowsiness of cough medicine without really feeling drowsy. just the feeling that makes me feel upbeat bout my life and just think bout how nice the wine is. (i must sound like an alcoholic. but well, i never really got drunk before. i know how to control =P)

now tt i think bout it i guess i'm a weirdo. coffee is a 'stimulant' while wine is classified as 'depressants' ain't it... seems like they have an opposite effect on me if i take their meanings as how i understand stimulate and depress. hmm.. oh well. as long as i'm happy =)

well, as nickelback says, 'feelin' way too damn good'. well, i'm sure 'something's gonna go wrong' eventually but til then, i'd enjoy every moment of my life. maybe i'd feel blissful enough to attain immortality. and then the 'something' has come true given how i wish for a short and sweet life. damn, i'm ranting past my intended conclusion again. -kelvin out-