Sunday, September 11, 2005
Ramblings
i really love my ipod haha. always chooses the right song at the right time. this time it's kimi sae ireba. ED song for love hina. i've had that for ages but the starting 'i'm a dreamer' have never resonated so...
there was a time i firmly proclaim myself as a pessimist. now i'm no longer so sure. at heart i think i'm indeed a dreamer. someone who lives in dreams and fantasies. then comes along the reality check. and everything seems to crash back into the ground. but i still hold on to those aspirations and hopes, yearning one day that it will somehow happen
most of the times i like to play by the rules. in this game with no rules. i'm long past the stage of thinking that life is fair, but then again sometimes i think i still think that way. so i continue playing my game largely adhering to my own set of rules, only to find the winners often those who play loose. so sometimes i step out of my imaginary line, only to loathe what i did once i'm done
hmm, read what i just typed... sound kinda depressed when i'm not really so... must be the night making me oh-so-philosophical again. i guess i shan't continue from there then. was gonna go on bout lying but i think i'm out of point now anyway what with how i expressed everything.
filling up the form for the youth camp thingy now. sigh, it's been a cause of so many headaches. at first i thought it sounded pretty cool. thought it was held overseas. so found it quite interesting to go somewhere (probably) new and interact with other people. then i got to know it's the overseas people coming over. half the fun gone. and next i realised each jc only sending two people. which probably means quite some hotshots (i still don't get why they got me to go... damn, why did hongyi have that volleyball thingy. and there's still this kenneth lee. and other 'high-flyers'). i dunno, but my experiences with such things haven't gone too well.. there's always this fire burning in these people and i just can't match up to their passion giving how i like things to be laid back and stuff. well, guess i can just hope and hold out for the best. visits to NUS and TLC seems nice, science centre and night safari could be kinda fun if the company is right, so yeah. it might just go well. and a mini-obs of some sort. don't really know what to expect but could be fun. though the contry seminar, exhibit and cultural night thingy seem to be the sort of things i loathe the most.
so i agreed to go mainly cos i don't really want some sort of a run in with the pw hod (who seems kinda nice at least) and the vp (now tt's another matter. grr... she seem to have some agenda against first aid. a week into my publicity head post and i got 3 complaints from her, albeit indirectly, already.) and as mentioned earlier, the thing did seem kinda fun then. but now with the knowledge of how the thing is, the planning of the chalet and travel plans gave me second thoughts. so how am i supposed to answer "how do you think you can contribute to this programme?" and "What do you hope to gain/learn from this programme?". wonder if i can just put N/A in those blanks lor. but vp checking them... grr... well, i've given my consent, so, again, hope haha.
so holidays are gonna end. i will miss meeting up with friends i guess. 3 weeks to promos... kinda scary but then again i sorta want to get over and done with it. other pple seem to have put in a lot of effort during the hols. it's time i ought to start. hope the kinda consistent work will be good enough cos i seriously doubt i'd have the time to revise thoroughly.
okay, i probably have ranted enough. oyasuminasai miina-san =)(=
there was a time i firmly proclaim myself as a pessimist. now i'm no longer so sure. at heart i think i'm indeed a dreamer. someone who lives in dreams and fantasies. then comes along the reality check. and everything seems to crash back into the ground. but i still hold on to those aspirations and hopes, yearning one day that it will somehow happen
most of the times i like to play by the rules. in this game with no rules. i'm long past the stage of thinking that life is fair, but then again sometimes i think i still think that way. so i continue playing my game largely adhering to my own set of rules, only to find the winners often those who play loose. so sometimes i step out of my imaginary line, only to loathe what i did once i'm done
hmm, read what i just typed... sound kinda depressed when i'm not really so... must be the night making me oh-so-philosophical again. i guess i shan't continue from there then. was gonna go on bout lying but i think i'm out of point now anyway what with how i expressed everything.
filling up the form for the youth camp thingy now. sigh, it's been a cause of so many headaches. at first i thought it sounded pretty cool. thought it was held overseas. so found it quite interesting to go somewhere (probably) new and interact with other people. then i got to know it's the overseas people coming over. half the fun gone. and next i realised each jc only sending two people. which probably means quite some hotshots (i still don't get why they got me to go... damn, why did hongyi have that volleyball thingy. and there's still this kenneth lee. and other 'high-flyers'). i dunno, but my experiences with such things haven't gone too well.. there's always this fire burning in these people and i just can't match up to their passion giving how i like things to be laid back and stuff. well, guess i can just hope and hold out for the best. visits to NUS and TLC seems nice, science centre and night safari could be kinda fun if the company is right, so yeah. it might just go well. and a mini-obs of some sort. don't really know what to expect but could be fun. though the contry seminar, exhibit and cultural night thingy seem to be the sort of things i loathe the most.
so i agreed to go mainly cos i don't really want some sort of a run in with the pw hod (who seems kinda nice at least) and the vp (now tt's another matter. grr... she seem to have some agenda against first aid. a week into my publicity head post and i got 3 complaints from her, albeit indirectly, already.) and as mentioned earlier, the thing did seem kinda fun then. but now with the knowledge of how the thing is, the planning of the chalet and travel plans gave me second thoughts. so how am i supposed to answer "how do you think you can contribute to this programme?" and "What do you hope to gain/learn from this programme?". wonder if i can just put N/A in those blanks lor. but vp checking them... grr... well, i've given my consent, so, again, hope haha.
so holidays are gonna end. i will miss meeting up with friends i guess. 3 weeks to promos... kinda scary but then again i sorta want to get over and done with it. other pple seem to have put in a lot of effort during the hols. it's time i ought to start. hope the kinda consistent work will be good enough cos i seriously doubt i'd have the time to revise thoroughly.
okay, i probably have ranted enough. oyasuminasai miina-san =)(=
