Monday, August 29, 2005
It's only the fairy tale
let's see. i wonder how to start. only been a week but blogging seems somewhat foreign now. and as so often the case yet a few more entry ideas/plans slipped by. i give up postponing them... if it's meant to be, i'd remember again some day. so i went to malaysia to grandma's house through the weekends. but nth really much to blog bout it. once again, i should have brought my cam. must remember to do so next time.
new song... insert song from mai hime
It's only the fairy tale/Miyamura Yuuko (Alyssa Sears)
---
Who are those little girls in pain just trapped in castle of dark side of moon
Twelve of them shining bright in vain like flowers that blossom just once in years
They're dancing in the shadow like whispers of love just dreaming of a place where they're free as dove
They've never been allowed to love in this cursed cage
It's only the fairy tale they believe
so the pronounciation's horrible. and the lyrics kinda only apply to the anime. and it sounds a li'l weird at first but i like the way it is sung. it... resonates... and well, cos of the way all the words are slurred up (i guess the excessive slur was deliberate since the character was a li'l girl in the anime. and it kinda blended to the melody) i remember the last line as "It's only the fairy tale happening". and the irony of how a line like that is sang and the tone of the song.
anyway, seems like a busy december holiday will be in store... almost surely will be make up for the first few weeks. then there's SL slated for end of december. and the way the teachers have been approaching me the past few days i guess i can't refuse doing the science research thingy for some fair and a sorta camp visiting some institutes of higher learning. think it's overseas even. well, i can't say i'm not interested in these programmes. but the reason i've not taken anything of that sort of thing before is of course, time... heck, i even gave maths olympiad a miss.
i dunno. 'work hard, play hard', they say, but that's not the way i want my life to go. i see nothing wrong with lazing around and just doing nothing at times. of course, when the time comes, i will put in the hard work but other than that i don't need anything else. maybe i have no aspirations, but i like to put it more like i'm not particularly ambitious. or competitive at that.
i don't really want a prestigious scholarship, or even a scholarship at all. i don't need an 'enriching, meaningful life'. a happy, easy-going one would be more than enough for me. i guess i should just take the programmes that come along positively and try to learn things from them.
i guess there must be people looking at my situation and wondering why i'm still ranting and lamenting when i've been blessed with such wonderful opportunities. but i think it's just like how i'm incredibly annoyed when i see some people more accomplished in other areas other than academic and work wise but still do not realise how good things are for them. it has occured to me quite a few times. perhaps i'm reading a person's blog, or see someone in real life and can't help but be quite irritated by the way they act, how they do not seem to realise how easy they have certain things. ugh, i don't think i'm making much sense yet again.
maybe one day i will finally be satisfied with what i have. and hopefully i'm not wrong in thinking that i'm just a few elements, albeit big ones, from what i want. let things just take its course i guess. certain things cannot be rushed. then again, maybe it's impossible for me to reach that state for i'm no saint. let's see...
then this thing about first aid... ok, so the commitments are still not too high even now with qigong's emphasis on proactiveness (oh yeah, i must finish my board soon...) but come to think of it, joining it might have been the best choice i've made so far in aj. i can't seem to imagine myself enjoying myself in any CCA which involves competitions. these things, along with the amount of time and effort to be invested, require passion and i don't think i've found that in the ccas the sch offer. and i probably would never have made it to exco in the other ccas. i think i see more signs of more bonding between the different groups in first aid, and that's promising. hopefully when we handover next year, i would have known everyone in the club decently at least. i'd probably have been lost in the droves of people in the other ccas. anyway, back to my point. so first it started with my form teacher. asked me why i joined first aid with that skeptical tone. proceeded to ask me my cca in secondary sch and why i did not continue with bball. or whether i was part of exco in bball (when there's only a captain). then the science research teacher... kinda like emphasised the fact that i shouldn't be too busy with the commitments from first aid and i'd need to stand up and grab the opportunities for others to notice me (not that i'm desiring that). and now finally the pw hod. she was like, "i did a check and found out you are in first aid. nothing wrong with that but it's kind of low profile. thankfully you're an exco member"... -_-. oh well. at least i know i'm enjoying my time there in a sense
new song... insert song from mai hime
It's only the fairy tale/Miyamura Yuuko (Alyssa Sears)
---
Who are those little girls in pain just trapped in castle of dark side of moon
Twelve of them shining bright in vain like flowers that blossom just once in years
They're dancing in the shadow like whispers of love just dreaming of a place where they're free as dove
They've never been allowed to love in this cursed cage
It's only the fairy tale they believe
so the pronounciation's horrible. and the lyrics kinda only apply to the anime. and it sounds a li'l weird at first but i like the way it is sung. it... resonates... and well, cos of the way all the words are slurred up (i guess the excessive slur was deliberate since the character was a li'l girl in the anime. and it kinda blended to the melody) i remember the last line as "It's only the fairy tale happening". and the irony of how a line like that is sang and the tone of the song.
anyway, seems like a busy december holiday will be in store... almost surely will be make up for the first few weeks. then there's SL slated for end of december. and the way the teachers have been approaching me the past few days i guess i can't refuse doing the science research thingy for some fair and a sorta camp visiting some institutes of higher learning. think it's overseas even. well, i can't say i'm not interested in these programmes. but the reason i've not taken anything of that sort of thing before is of course, time... heck, i even gave maths olympiad a miss.
i dunno. 'work hard, play hard', they say, but that's not the way i want my life to go. i see nothing wrong with lazing around and just doing nothing at times. of course, when the time comes, i will put in the hard work but other than that i don't need anything else. maybe i have no aspirations, but i like to put it more like i'm not particularly ambitious. or competitive at that.
i don't really want a prestigious scholarship, or even a scholarship at all. i don't need an 'enriching, meaningful life'. a happy, easy-going one would be more than enough for me. i guess i should just take the programmes that come along positively and try to learn things from them.
i guess there must be people looking at my situation and wondering why i'm still ranting and lamenting when i've been blessed with such wonderful opportunities. but i think it's just like how i'm incredibly annoyed when i see some people more accomplished in other areas other than academic and work wise but still do not realise how good things are for them. it has occured to me quite a few times. perhaps i'm reading a person's blog, or see someone in real life and can't help but be quite irritated by the way they act, how they do not seem to realise how easy they have certain things. ugh, i don't think i'm making much sense yet again.
maybe one day i will finally be satisfied with what i have. and hopefully i'm not wrong in thinking that i'm just a few elements, albeit big ones, from what i want. let things just take its course i guess. certain things cannot be rushed. then again, maybe it's impossible for me to reach that state for i'm no saint. let's see...
then this thing about first aid... ok, so the commitments are still not too high even now with qigong's emphasis on proactiveness (oh yeah, i must finish my board soon...) but come to think of it, joining it might have been the best choice i've made so far in aj. i can't seem to imagine myself enjoying myself in any CCA which involves competitions. these things, along with the amount of time and effort to be invested, require passion and i don't think i've found that in the ccas the sch offer. and i probably would never have made it to exco in the other ccas. i think i see more signs of more bonding between the different groups in first aid, and that's promising. hopefully when we handover next year, i would have known everyone in the club decently at least. i'd probably have been lost in the droves of people in the other ccas. anyway, back to my point. so first it started with my form teacher. asked me why i joined first aid with that skeptical tone. proceeded to ask me my cca in secondary sch and why i did not continue with bball. or whether i was part of exco in bball (when there's only a captain). then the science research teacher... kinda like emphasised the fact that i shouldn't be too busy with the commitments from first aid and i'd need to stand up and grab the opportunities for others to notice me (not that i'm desiring that). and now finally the pw hod. she was like, "i did a check and found out you are in first aid. nothing wrong with that but it's kind of low profile. thankfully you're an exco member"... -_-. oh well. at least i know i'm enjoying my time there in a sense
