Sunday, December 19, 2004
Terence Peh, Shrek
[This post is dedicated to terence, another person i'd definitely miss]
Finally got to meet up with lymon and ash again today... only not met them for a week, but somehow it felt like i've so many things i wanna tell, so many things i wanna know. at least they'd be in tj, and at least we'd be together for three months... i think i'd miss eric and terence (or rather, i long for us to be together again) come to think of it, there'd been so many missed opportunities and times where miscommunication ruined things that i hoped things could have been that li'l different. but bonds were formed, and i'd remember them. i hope.
kinda scary looking at some of the things terence wrote... it seemed so... not him. some time back he was talking bout that different side of him and stuff but i casually dismissed it by joking that i'd got to know the wrong person, etc... and there are those times i kinda cruelly put him down (though he is a li'l guilty of trying to push himself up too much sometimes as well) but still, there's something different. it sounded like he was really hurt and i can't help but wish it wasn't so. he's a special person, a most memorable person for all his acts, etc and i really don't want to see him this way. maybe it's just plain speculation, but...
one of these days i really wanna call him out for another round of heart-to-heart talk (or using his cheap trick, our last conversation, forever...) even though i don't think i caused this, i want to do my part to help. just too bad i'm probably not one of his closest friends. he once commented on how good it would be if i was the person i am now a few years back, but again i dismissed it by saying that i'm the person i am now only because of who i was in the past (chim? ^^)
this feeling is weird... a while back we were meeting up pretty often and although we'd only 'lost contact' for bout 2-3 days before the chalet i felt a really, really weird feeling when i saw him during the second day. i couldn't give him a warm welcome, couldn't do one of my put-downs again, couldn't give some mindless banter but just said "at least you're here...". the feeling just cannot be described, at least not with my standard of english. it felt like we became strangers just after the few days.
later when he gave me that keyring i felt really weird again... it's like i've misjudged him for something and for a moment i had to hold back my tears. somehow strong bonds were forged between us even though not much were shared it seems. in sec 1 and 2 there were times i strayed to the back of the class where he sat and in sec 3 and 4 there were times in the morning when i had no homework to rush i would go sit in front of him at the other corner of the classroom but somehow we didn't manage to click that well... i was still stuck in my shell then and sometimes he starts with some banter or had to go for chinese lessons... he was a big motivation factor for me in my decision in the chalet and i want to thank him for that sincerely though he certainly didn't meant to do it. and i really want to tell him i've gained a lot from our friendship this four years... it seems immensely strange that he still feels like a total stranger at times... but at least he has hongyi and shui hei over at aj (if i'm not wrong) so i wish him all the best... fate seems to have decided that we were never meant to be close friends for long, but i will treasure the things that are left behind. that keyring will go along with the jigsaw and scrabble rack as one of the few things i'd kill myself if i lost.... things that mean so much, so much.
and it still puzzles me about how so many things are happening "under the carpet" in our class... i thought everything looked so peaceful, so serene but now that i've learnt more bout people's opinions of each other it just feels so weird... i think maybe it's just my personality that i don't like to dislike a person unless he/she is truly a hideous, evil person who does not good or someone who had really offended me greatly that i don't understand all this... at least i only knew bout them after graduation so i won't be affected by having to try accomodate things to avoid clashes... libra traits again i think (horoscope's eerie)... i don't understand why some cannot look past some bad personality traits of a person and co-exist in peace... sure, there's bound to be people who are irritating or annoying to different people but i just don't understand this at all... kinda feel like the elf in neverwinter nights who could not understand how one man suddenly showed his evil side and still wanted to delude himself by thinking that the man is still good at heart but is just controlled by someone else.... (i'm don't think i'm making much sense, as usual... ^^)
so back to my meeting with lymon and ash. once again it was at my house and again we talked a lot bout stuff. shared a li'l more, and gained a lot of insight into many things. how interesting things are turning out to be... and all this makes my own troubles (if you can call it that) so trivial. i should really try to be more decisive i guess. can't rely on 'fate' everytime. but still i need to find that something which can convince me that i should, without a doubt, act.
at night watched shrek on tv together. missed the first part (think i'm gonna download it to see that part) but enjoyed it, a lot. i always hate myself for dismissing so many shows just because their graphic style doesn't fit my taste. sure, shrek still looked ugly in the end but the animations for the donkey slowly grew on me... i ought to watch a lot more movies (and more than once so that i can actually remember stuff from it) after being left out in so many conversations between the two bout many movies. and most importantly, shrek was touching... really nice moments littered throughout it. the ending's still a li'l too fairytale but i'd take that over tragedic ones every day.
Quote of the day:
"I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty.
And, well, I don't really like it, but you may like it, because you're pretty.
But I like you anyway. I.... uh... I'm in trouble."
Sweet... ^^
Finally got to meet up with lymon and ash again today... only not met them for a week, but somehow it felt like i've so many things i wanna tell, so many things i wanna know. at least they'd be in tj, and at least we'd be together for three months... i think i'd miss eric and terence (or rather, i long for us to be together again) come to think of it, there'd been so many missed opportunities and times where miscommunication ruined things that i hoped things could have been that li'l different. but bonds were formed, and i'd remember them. i hope.
kinda scary looking at some of the things terence wrote... it seemed so... not him. some time back he was talking bout that different side of him and stuff but i casually dismissed it by joking that i'd got to know the wrong person, etc... and there are those times i kinda cruelly put him down (though he is a li'l guilty of trying to push himself up too much sometimes as well) but still, there's something different. it sounded like he was really hurt and i can't help but wish it wasn't so. he's a special person, a most memorable person for all his acts, etc and i really don't want to see him this way. maybe it's just plain speculation, but...
one of these days i really wanna call him out for another round of heart-to-heart talk (or using his cheap trick, our last conversation, forever...) even though i don't think i caused this, i want to do my part to help. just too bad i'm probably not one of his closest friends. he once commented on how good it would be if i was the person i am now a few years back, but again i dismissed it by saying that i'm the person i am now only because of who i was in the past (chim? ^^)
this feeling is weird... a while back we were meeting up pretty often and although we'd only 'lost contact' for bout 2-3 days before the chalet i felt a really, really weird feeling when i saw him during the second day. i couldn't give him a warm welcome, couldn't do one of my put-downs again, couldn't give some mindless banter but just said "at least you're here...". the feeling just cannot be described, at least not with my standard of english. it felt like we became strangers just after the few days.
later when he gave me that keyring i felt really weird again... it's like i've misjudged him for something and for a moment i had to hold back my tears. somehow strong bonds were forged between us even though not much were shared it seems. in sec 1 and 2 there were times i strayed to the back of the class where he sat and in sec 3 and 4 there were times in the morning when i had no homework to rush i would go sit in front of him at the other corner of the classroom but somehow we didn't manage to click that well... i was still stuck in my shell then and sometimes he starts with some banter or had to go for chinese lessons... he was a big motivation factor for me in my decision in the chalet and i want to thank him for that sincerely though he certainly didn't meant to do it. and i really want to tell him i've gained a lot from our friendship this four years... it seems immensely strange that he still feels like a total stranger at times... but at least he has hongyi and shui hei over at aj (if i'm not wrong) so i wish him all the best... fate seems to have decided that we were never meant to be close friends for long, but i will treasure the things that are left behind. that keyring will go along with the jigsaw and scrabble rack as one of the few things i'd kill myself if i lost.... things that mean so much, so much.
and it still puzzles me about how so many things are happening "under the carpet" in our class... i thought everything looked so peaceful, so serene but now that i've learnt more bout people's opinions of each other it just feels so weird... i think maybe it's just my personality that i don't like to dislike a person unless he/she is truly a hideous, evil person who does not good or someone who had really offended me greatly that i don't understand all this... at least i only knew bout them after graduation so i won't be affected by having to try accomodate things to avoid clashes... libra traits again i think (horoscope's eerie)... i don't understand why some cannot look past some bad personality traits of a person and co-exist in peace... sure, there's bound to be people who are irritating or annoying to different people but i just don't understand this at all... kinda feel like the elf in neverwinter nights who could not understand how one man suddenly showed his evil side and still wanted to delude himself by thinking that the man is still good at heart but is just controlled by someone else.... (i'm don't think i'm making much sense, as usual... ^^)
so back to my meeting with lymon and ash. once again it was at my house and again we talked a lot bout stuff. shared a li'l more, and gained a lot of insight into many things. how interesting things are turning out to be... and all this makes my own troubles (if you can call it that) so trivial. i should really try to be more decisive i guess. can't rely on 'fate' everytime. but still i need to find that something which can convince me that i should, without a doubt, act.
at night watched shrek on tv together. missed the first part (think i'm gonna download it to see that part) but enjoyed it, a lot. i always hate myself for dismissing so many shows just because their graphic style doesn't fit my taste. sure, shrek still looked ugly in the end but the animations for the donkey slowly grew on me... i ought to watch a lot more movies (and more than once so that i can actually remember stuff from it) after being left out in so many conversations between the two bout many movies. and most importantly, shrek was touching... really nice moments littered throughout it. the ending's still a li'l too fairytale but i'd take that over tragedic ones every day.
Quote of the day:
"I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty.
And, well, I don't really like it, but you may like it, because you're pretty.
But I like you anyway. I.... uh... I'm in trouble."
Sweet... ^^
