The simpler life...

New year's eve so it's time to look back at the year and reflect on everything that had happened... 2004 has been a truly special, truly memorable year... a year of many firsts and new experiences, a year of many changes, a year where so much happened...

don't really know how to start, so let's start from the start of the year... what with the major examinations coming up the year didn't look too gd. in january i told myself that i'd slack for 3 months first before working doubly hard till the o levels. come march i tried to really place importance in studies and for once actually did homework before the day they were due and tried to listen attentively during lessons. however, being hardworking after 3.25 yrs of slacking was tough and i struggled to start my revisions until bout 2 months later near the mid-yr exams and the chinese o levels.

and it was the period of preparation for the chinese o levels where many things started to happen. originally had a study group with zhiliang and likkhian where we'd study together every weekend and it was pretty fun while it lasted (sadly we kinda studied on our own just the week before the chinese papers and somehow never got back again)... at least it saved me all the money from studying in macdonald's where i'd spend bout 10 dollars or more every day we studied indulging in unhealthy food... but then again, that was before i started studying at the library cafe soon later and started spending almost as much again on coffee, finger food and pastry...

during that time i was also reflecting bout myself and the 3+ yrs i've spent in zhonghua.... the horrible first two yrs and the person i was then. then sec 3 when i tried to change myself bit by bit. somehow things just ain't happening fast enough for me then (it's just my personality that i can never hold on to see long term rewards... i always like indicators to show me that i'm progressing whenever i'm working hard on something...) and i was thinking whether it's me not trying hard enough. it was also at that time that i started this blog but i got that covered in one of the earlier entries so no point repeating myself.

so time slowly passed... another one of the special things that happened was how i soon grew 'close' to woodlands library's cafe and the staff there (jeff esp). slowly i grew so used to seeing a familiar face behind the counter waiting for my orders and refills that it felt so weird when jeff went over to jurong library... so weird that i went there to study in the end (but again i got that covered in one of the earlier entries so i shouldn't elaborate)... it's just a li'l pity that i stopped visiting the cafe entirely after the exams when i said earlier that i would drop by occasionally. cutting down on my coffee intake and somehow it seemed like jeff and i started running out of conversation topics in the last few days of the exam...

and while all this was happening we inched day by day closer to the prelims, closer to the o levels. and surprisingly it was during bout september when i felt that those days actually felt quite fun and was the most meaningful period for 4 years then (i'd say the period from around grad to present was the most purposeful now, but that was then). everyday i'd go to sch, go through all the lessons, ssp after 'official lessons ended'. after that i'd sit down in my seat for a while just staring at the class, letting my mind wander off for a bit (i think it can be seen as some kind of relaxation?) until i feel that i should head out. then it was to the library cafe, a cup of latte and some finger food, and more latte (sometimes it'd be double espresso if i'm feeling tired) until bout 8+ when i get my homework and some revision done before i head home for dinner. then it's a couple of hours on the computer before it's time to sleep and everything goes again. doesn't sound like too much but sometimes during that period when i was walking around (esp after studying and heading home) i feel like i've achieved something today and i can continue working towards that tml and so on...)

many memorable things happened up to that point in time too. there was scrabble and all the time we'd play it during free periods and sometimes after school, the competitions too... there was the daily 'competition' in the canteen during recess where the last one to finish will have to put the plates back... the guitar and the songs... my enlarged timetable on the noticeboard (i'm really gonna miss that come jc)... the notice board decorations (and all the recycling of items on the board lol... i still remember how i changed the 'I' from the fortitude theme to 'i can make a difference in saving the earth' for the environment theme... ^^)... maths peer tutoring and the fun time we'd have before and during the thing (and my 'conquest' for the tys-es then)... the debates and the prep esp with eric arguing with ms ten... there are prob so many more but just that i can't remember them yet now...

so prelims were soon over. and i think that kinda sparked off the most memorable period of my life. graduation was looming, and even though i don't know any pple in class very well at that point of time the thought of being separated from friends of 2/4 yrs... the thought of no longer stepping into the classroom to have all the lessons kinda urged me to try harder to form stronger bonds... urged me to open up from my shell more.

slowly i got a li'l closer to ash, lymon and terence. and eric too to a lesser extent. i still remember the 'jc tour' we had, the running around trying to get to tj before guides will no longer available, being the 'tour guide', planning everything... and above everything else that happened that day, the long, long, 'boring' (i'd always remember terence for that ^^) coversation i had with lymon and terence... slowly i started to know more things, and shared more and in the process we became closer.

then there were times after school where a few of us would go to eric's house. the original plan was always to study but somehow we never did. and sometimes i'd just lie down on the floor doing nothing while the others were doing some other things on the pc which i wasn't into. but what was important was spending time with friends... at that time i was trying really hard to draw that fine line between studies and friends and on hindsight i think i'm pretty satisfied with how i handled it.

next graduation day came and the tears and memories of the class... then the o levels came and went.

e7 chalet was next and again it was another memorable experience... but most memorable for me was the e1 chalet and the two nights of one-to-one talks with so many people... the different things i talked about to different friends even though we're all in the same group and realising that we've suddenly become such close mates. then the evening/night when i decided to say it...

after that was eric's farewell dinner which was yet another fun and memorable time. then there was meeting up with friends and learning and sharing things. and all too soon the e1 outing just a few days ago...

it has been an absolutely wonderful yr. the only regret i have is that i've kinda distanced a li'l from jun liang. he's still my best friend, but we were definitely much closer last year..

not exactly looking forward to next year now cos it'd be really hard to have another year like this. no more 4e1, different pple heading off in different directions... may we still be able to stay in contact and meet up from time to time...

EDIT: no new year's resolutions this year... well, i never once fulfilled my resolutions anyway, and not really in the mood to make them today.