Friday, December 10, 2004
Eric Permana
[This entry is dedicated to eric, who is probably in indonesia now...]
Anyway, let's continue from the last post. so we left and took the bus to eric's house. the mood was pretty much set then and though i tried talking to lymon to get my mind off it it didn't work. so i was at the back of the bus, thinking about many things... the feeling was.. weird... then slowly i got another feeling... i dunno why and how to explain it, but it felt like jealousy? i felt envious while staring at the front of the bus, and longed for more. well everyone have their fair share of problems i try to shake off that feeling but i couldn't. thankfully i managed to sleep or i'd have been thinking too much.
so we got there, eric, lymon, ash and me but we just sat there silently. i just did not know what to say, and it seems like everyone was the same as well. a lot of things were still going through my head, and i can't help but think of that morning... bye bye, and that's probably it. it's all gonna be over...
soon went home, then went to plaza singapura for eric's farewell dinner. in the end went over to bugis for seoul garden. i think i'm falling sick cos my appetite's not there but again i digress. at least the mood really lightened up at the dinner. too bad terence couldn't make it, but i'm grateful we didn't need his lameness to cheer us up. the conversation started out as random banter bout the food and such so it got kinda scary when we ran out of things to say halfway through it and silence reigned again... thankfully things soon picked up when we started talking bout the class, making wild guesses at things and later embarassing ourselves by revealing certain things. there were laughs aplenty, hints dropped around and lots of guesses here and there and it was really, really fun imo. then there's 'no hormones' aaron who's there trying to make sense of what we're saying... lol... hope the five of us can all make it to tj and continue another round of something like this...
so glad we all ended on this lighter note. felt gd after going home, then on msn people were planning for a cls outing... i really regret i can't make it for the planning cos i need every opportunity to meet up again regardless of the activity.
sadly, things took a turn this morning. i woke up and slowly things slowly sunk in... i though of yesterday morning again, and didn't know what to do. so throughout the whole day i was just sleeping, waking up for 30min now and then staring at the msn screen and then going to sleep again... and i'm sleeping not cos i'm tired at the lack of sleep in the chalet. i just can't get over things yet....
but i guess i just need time. time heals everything after all. but for now i dunno what to do. i don't feel like gaming, i don't feel like doing anything but think and try remember... guess i should try getting a few people out together again... and there's still the vacation on monday to kl/genting. as long as i find something to do on the long bus trips back and fro i should be able to take my mind off this things for a while. no point looking backwards and crying over things. i've done almost everything in my power so i should have no regrets. i'm just a li'l wary of the first day of sch cos things would change from there. but i'd survive as a stronger person i think...
and now eric's song for the class starts ringing in my head... (hope we can make that cd out of it)
[chorus]
people, people, the onus is on you
people, people, at the end of the day
people, people, how many times, must i tell you
4e1, 4e1...
we're gonna be the one
4e1, 4e1...
everyone will be someone someday
4e1, 4e1...
we're gonna be... friends forever
friends forever
Anyway, let's continue from the last post. so we left and took the bus to eric's house. the mood was pretty much set then and though i tried talking to lymon to get my mind off it it didn't work. so i was at the back of the bus, thinking about many things... the feeling was.. weird... then slowly i got another feeling... i dunno why and how to explain it, but it felt like jealousy? i felt envious while staring at the front of the bus, and longed for more. well everyone have their fair share of problems i try to shake off that feeling but i couldn't. thankfully i managed to sleep or i'd have been thinking too much.
so we got there, eric, lymon, ash and me but we just sat there silently. i just did not know what to say, and it seems like everyone was the same as well. a lot of things were still going through my head, and i can't help but think of that morning... bye bye, and that's probably it. it's all gonna be over...
soon went home, then went to plaza singapura for eric's farewell dinner. in the end went over to bugis for seoul garden. i think i'm falling sick cos my appetite's not there but again i digress. at least the mood really lightened up at the dinner. too bad terence couldn't make it, but i'm grateful we didn't need his lameness to cheer us up. the conversation started out as random banter bout the food and such so it got kinda scary when we ran out of things to say halfway through it and silence reigned again... thankfully things soon picked up when we started talking bout the class, making wild guesses at things and later embarassing ourselves by revealing certain things. there were laughs aplenty, hints dropped around and lots of guesses here and there and it was really, really fun imo. then there's 'no hormones' aaron who's there trying to make sense of what we're saying... lol... hope the five of us can all make it to tj and continue another round of something like this...
so glad we all ended on this lighter note. felt gd after going home, then on msn people were planning for a cls outing... i really regret i can't make it for the planning cos i need every opportunity to meet up again regardless of the activity.
sadly, things took a turn this morning. i woke up and slowly things slowly sunk in... i though of yesterday morning again, and didn't know what to do. so throughout the whole day i was just sleeping, waking up for 30min now and then staring at the msn screen and then going to sleep again... and i'm sleeping not cos i'm tired at the lack of sleep in the chalet. i just can't get over things yet....
but i guess i just need time. time heals everything after all. but for now i dunno what to do. i don't feel like gaming, i don't feel like doing anything but think and try remember... guess i should try getting a few people out together again... and there's still the vacation on monday to kl/genting. as long as i find something to do on the long bus trips back and fro i should be able to take my mind off this things for a while. no point looking backwards and crying over things. i've done almost everything in my power so i should have no regrets. i'm just a li'l wary of the first day of sch cos things would change from there. but i'd survive as a stronger person i think...
and now eric's song for the class starts ringing in my head... (hope we can make that cd out of it)
[chorus]
people, people, the onus is on you
people, people, at the end of the day
people, people, how many times, must i tell you
4e1, 4e1...
we're gonna be the one
4e1, 4e1...
everyone will be someone someday
4e1, 4e1...
we're gonna be... friends forever
friends forever
