Sunday, October 31, 2004
Dilemna, Fear, Hope, Prayers...
praying, hoping that tml will not turn out like the one i've dreaded 4 the past two days. and surprisingly, it's not related to lack of studying or anything... pls let all turn out the perfect way... bah, only i know wat i'm talking bout here... i always hate it when the almighty one plays tricks on us (if there is indeed one, pardon my insolence).
there's only a 10% chance of that happening to me, less than 0.1% chance of that happening during exam time and less than .001% of that happening at such an important exam. stack that up and the chances are really, really low. but that's always how it works. even though it always seem so unfair, and the possibility of it happening is so, so, so low, it still happens and someone will have to be the end of it. but still, why me? why at this time? i will not admit defeat. i've decided this path, and i'd take this path till the end, whether i reach a dead end or not. pls let there be light at the end of the tunnel.
humankind is juz so weak, so fragile. so many times so many of us can do nth but hope and pray that things will turn out well. some take up religion to overcome this fear, while i decided otherwise for this very same reason... if i had power, if i was great, i'd eradicate everything that might cause problems. if i can't do that, i'd terminate life then. why give us hope, why give us this wonderful thing when u have to take the lumps with all this. sigh... i've 'xie du shen ming', but pls pardon this puny li'l guy here who thinks he's so great. sigh. maybe that's the reason for all this. and pls dun let anyone get implicated by my irresponsible acts. it's bad enuf trying to take this thing in my stride and i dun want guilt to go along with it.
there's only a 10% chance of that happening to me, less than 0.1% chance of that happening during exam time and less than .001% of that happening at such an important exam. stack that up and the chances are really, really low. but that's always how it works. even though it always seem so unfair, and the possibility of it happening is so, so, so low, it still happens and someone will have to be the end of it. but still, why me? why at this time? i will not admit defeat. i've decided this path, and i'd take this path till the end, whether i reach a dead end or not. pls let there be light at the end of the tunnel.
humankind is juz so weak, so fragile. so many times so many of us can do nth but hope and pray that things will turn out well. some take up religion to overcome this fear, while i decided otherwise for this very same reason... if i had power, if i was great, i'd eradicate everything that might cause problems. if i can't do that, i'd terminate life then. why give us hope, why give us this wonderful thing when u have to take the lumps with all this. sigh... i've 'xie du shen ming', but pls pardon this puny li'l guy here who thinks he's so great. sigh. maybe that's the reason for all this. and pls dun let anyone get implicated by my irresponsible acts. it's bad enuf trying to take this thing in my stride and i dun want guilt to go along with it.
