Tuesday, October 05, 2004
17th October
I think today was the 3rd time ashleigh mentioned that date to me this mnth... lol... sometimes i juz dunno how to handle this schemer always up to no gd. he always seem to have a trick up his sleeves and i dun't seem capable of doing anything against them.
anyway, the date really brought back many memories of lower sec life. and 4 once, they're actually fond memories.
i still remember those days where yizhin would never stop hounding me bout her birthday and make the fact that mine is two days after hers so engraved in my mind. and i still remember my plan during sec 2 for her bday. i set out to buy a most humiliating present for less than a dollar, and eventually toyed with the idea of mocking her by 'proposing' with a key chain ring. well, i never did it in the end but that plan of mine still bring back warm memories.
so i never gave her any present at all, but hey, i have given a grand total of ZERO bday presents in my life. NONE, ZILCH. i've never really put importance in bdays, and they're juz another day 4 me. occasionally i get some money from my parents which is nice but i dun really put much importance in it. so what if i was born on that day? does it really matter? k, so i do celebrate pple's bdays at times, but they r more of a way to tell him/her bout his/her importance as a fren personally. and if not 4 that constant drilling bout 17 and 19th october, i think i might have trouble remembering it.
and that brought back more memories of lower sec life. i still remember the few of us (me, william, yh, yz, and some joined now and then) who would go bowling after exams had ended. it's juz a few games of bowling and a simple lunch after that, but they were fun. most of the time it was juz plain, mindless chatter but that's more than fine with me. i dun really know how to explain this feeling, but it's that warm, fuzzy feeling u get when u reminisce bout the past.
but as always, i get this sadness whenever i recall bout them. those two years where i got my priorities totally wrong. i could have done so much more things, but i ended up wasting two gd years. not that i got my priorities perfect this time round, but at least i'm more truthful to myself and m steering my life to the path i wanna take. the path which will lead me to become the person i wanna be. i would juz stop short at saying i regretted it because it's against myself to regret what i've done. i was immature and foolish then but still i will not condamn my past actions. i did what i thought was the best, and i should not fault myself for that no matter how bad everything turned out to be. i m the person i m now cos of my actions, so no point regretting bout everything. may i be able to be more truthful to my heart and neglect that calculative, scaredy-cat part of my mind
anyway, the date really brought back many memories of lower sec life. and 4 once, they're actually fond memories.
i still remember those days where yizhin would never stop hounding me bout her birthday and make the fact that mine is two days after hers so engraved in my mind. and i still remember my plan during sec 2 for her bday. i set out to buy a most humiliating present for less than a dollar, and eventually toyed with the idea of mocking her by 'proposing' with a key chain ring. well, i never did it in the end but that plan of mine still bring back warm memories.
so i never gave her any present at all, but hey, i have given a grand total of ZERO bday presents in my life. NONE, ZILCH. i've never really put importance in bdays, and they're juz another day 4 me. occasionally i get some money from my parents which is nice but i dun really put much importance in it. so what if i was born on that day? does it really matter? k, so i do celebrate pple's bdays at times, but they r more of a way to tell him/her bout his/her importance as a fren personally. and if not 4 that constant drilling bout 17 and 19th october, i think i might have trouble remembering it.
and that brought back more memories of lower sec life. i still remember the few of us (me, william, yh, yz, and some joined now and then) who would go bowling after exams had ended. it's juz a few games of bowling and a simple lunch after that, but they were fun. most of the time it was juz plain, mindless chatter but that's more than fine with me. i dun really know how to explain this feeling, but it's that warm, fuzzy feeling u get when u reminisce bout the past.
but as always, i get this sadness whenever i recall bout them. those two years where i got my priorities totally wrong. i could have done so much more things, but i ended up wasting two gd years. not that i got my priorities perfect this time round, but at least i'm more truthful to myself and m steering my life to the path i wanna take. the path which will lead me to become the person i wanna be. i would juz stop short at saying i regretted it because it's against myself to regret what i've done. i was immature and foolish then but still i will not condamn my past actions. i did what i thought was the best, and i should not fault myself for that no matter how bad everything turned out to be. i m the person i m now cos of my actions, so no point regretting bout everything. may i be able to be more truthful to my heart and neglect that calculative, scaredy-cat part of my mind
