Sunday, September 19, 2004
My search for eternal bliss...
prelims are over, but unlike almost every1 else out there enjoying themselves, i'm not feeling so great (well, i expected it, but...) sure, i needed the break from all the studying but with the o levels still looming over, i can't juz put everything down and enjoy. so here i m, dunno what to blog bout coz my life got even more two dimensional after the prelims.
but i'm surprised how tired i was after the prelims. i took a long, long nap (3 to 8) and slept way too early at 10 on friday, which goes to show how much sleep i need. sure, those people who sleep until 12 every day might not see this as anything special, but 4 someone like me who clocks bout 4-6h every day, this is a lot.
so now that sleep's over, it's back to my usual lifestyle, me, my computer and i together 4 the whole day. i've been gaming a lot, but somehow the satisfaction isn't there. it's really not that fun relaxing when there's still something at the back of ur head.
so two more days to go be4 we go back to sch and get our results while i return to my conquest on the tys-es. wonder how bored i'd become...
and as a footnote, conversations with terence nowadays seem so much like talking to a primary sch kid. somehow his way of thinking seem so childish to a certain extent and the way he prioritize things seem so much like me 5 or 6 years back. ash agreed too that sometimes he seem so much like a child, but nowadays it's getting worse and worse... exam stress?
i'd prob remember terence fondly for the rest of my life for being this extremely funny (cos of the stupid things he do, mind u) guy who always does things that amazes u. somehow when u think he'd done the most stupid thing in the world, he'd challenge u and do something worse.
but that aside, his train of thoughts really seem like me years ago. that time, i gauged happiness with simple, materialistic gains and sought to achieve them, thinking that i'd be happy once i've got them. i tried, and did acquire some of them, but still, at the end of the day, i felt like i'm missing something. something was still missing even though i'm supposed to be happy having these things.
hence, i thought for a long time, and now, i'm still on my 'mission' to attain eternal bliss, hence the title of my blog. i dun want to be jubilant/delirous, etc, juz plain satisfied with whatever i have... bliss... the ultimate stage of happiness where u're so happy u dun need to jump around for joy and such. spritually happy that u're comfortable and pleased to remain in that state without the need to seek for more.
kinda reminds me of that short 'debate' i had with miss ten as to whether bliss or delirous was 'more intense happiness'. as usual, this seems to be going nowhere, so i'd end of here. may i one day reach nirvana...
but i'm surprised how tired i was after the prelims. i took a long, long nap (3 to 8) and slept way too early at 10 on friday, which goes to show how much sleep i need. sure, those people who sleep until 12 every day might not see this as anything special, but 4 someone like me who clocks bout 4-6h every day, this is a lot.
so now that sleep's over, it's back to my usual lifestyle, me, my computer and i together 4 the whole day. i've been gaming a lot, but somehow the satisfaction isn't there. it's really not that fun relaxing when there's still something at the back of ur head.
so two more days to go be4 we go back to sch and get our results while i return to my conquest on the tys-es. wonder how bored i'd become...
and as a footnote, conversations with terence nowadays seem so much like talking to a primary sch kid. somehow his way of thinking seem so childish to a certain extent and the way he prioritize things seem so much like me 5 or 6 years back. ash agreed too that sometimes he seem so much like a child, but nowadays it's getting worse and worse... exam stress?
i'd prob remember terence fondly for the rest of my life for being this extremely funny (cos of the stupid things he do, mind u) guy who always does things that amazes u. somehow when u think he'd done the most stupid thing in the world, he'd challenge u and do something worse.
but that aside, his train of thoughts really seem like me years ago. that time, i gauged happiness with simple, materialistic gains and sought to achieve them, thinking that i'd be happy once i've got them. i tried, and did acquire some of them, but still, at the end of the day, i felt like i'm missing something. something was still missing even though i'm supposed to be happy having these things.
hence, i thought for a long time, and now, i'm still on my 'mission' to attain eternal bliss, hence the title of my blog. i dun want to be jubilant/delirous, etc, juz plain satisfied with whatever i have... bliss... the ultimate stage of happiness where u're so happy u dun need to jump around for joy and such. spritually happy that u're comfortable and pleased to remain in that state without the need to seek for more.
kinda reminds me of that short 'debate' i had with miss ten as to whether bliss or delirous was 'more intense happiness'. as usual, this seems to be going nowhere, so i'd end of here. may i one day reach nirvana...
