Thursday, September 16, 2004
Angst
I dun feel gd at all, not gd at all... not as in sick or depressed, but juz angry. angry with the whole world and every1 in it. i hate it when pple remind me bout what i already know, i hate it when pple totally disregard ur ideas as wrong without leaving room for their own errors, i hate it when pple do not leave my own things to myself and doubt my planning... i really shouldn't, but i hate everything now.
and last day tml be4 we get that long weekend to relax be4 the sprint to the 'o's. while i was feeling pretty gd after chem, i juz couldn't bring myself to study today. i was struggling with my a maths (how can nov 2002 be so hard after i've finished the whole tys?), making careless mistakes and seemingly losing the attention for detail. mayb it's juz cos i'm tired after 2 long papers, but if i continue this horrible 'form', i won't do well enuf.
and sadly, i've kinda slacked up on chinese. only started today despite trying to slot in time for it earlier, and could only finish the newer words we learnt. i totally could not concentrate. i'm actually banking on it pretty much, what with the horrible sciences and how most of the a1-calibre pple are gone, but now i dunno. hope other pple dun work so hard as well?
and while i can't wait to stop this mindless act, i ain't really aniticipating the long weekend. i need a break, but juz not this kind. somehow, even if i'm letting it go and relax myself during the next few days, i dun see myself really resting well enuf. always at the back of my mind will be the o levels and also anxiety bout how the prelims will turn out. i can't wait to get back my results regardless of how gd or bad things turned out, but looks like i gotta wait till wednesday.
i'm scared, naturally of it. some pple say that the o levels are more important but personally i view the prelim as more crucial. these exams will determine which jc i go to during the 3 months while the 'o's for me will juz see whether i can stay there. even if i do score a lot better in my o levels, i dun see myself transferring. i'm juz gonna get into a jc and stay there unless the conditions r really horrible. well, it's basically up to fate now so all the best 4 me, myself and everyone around me. at least i ain't feeling so cooped up now...
and last day tml be4 we get that long weekend to relax be4 the sprint to the 'o's. while i was feeling pretty gd after chem, i juz couldn't bring myself to study today. i was struggling with my a maths (how can nov 2002 be so hard after i've finished the whole tys?), making careless mistakes and seemingly losing the attention for detail. mayb it's juz cos i'm tired after 2 long papers, but if i continue this horrible 'form', i won't do well enuf.
and sadly, i've kinda slacked up on chinese. only started today despite trying to slot in time for it earlier, and could only finish the newer words we learnt. i totally could not concentrate. i'm actually banking on it pretty much, what with the horrible sciences and how most of the a1-calibre pple are gone, but now i dunno. hope other pple dun work so hard as well?
and while i can't wait to stop this mindless act, i ain't really aniticipating the long weekend. i need a break, but juz not this kind. somehow, even if i'm letting it go and relax myself during the next few days, i dun see myself really resting well enuf. always at the back of my mind will be the o levels and also anxiety bout how the prelims will turn out. i can't wait to get back my results regardless of how gd or bad things turned out, but looks like i gotta wait till wednesday.
i'm scared, naturally of it. some pple say that the o levels are more important but personally i view the prelim as more crucial. these exams will determine which jc i go to during the 3 months while the 'o's for me will juz see whether i can stay there. even if i do score a lot better in my o levels, i dun see myself transferring. i'm juz gonna get into a jc and stay there unless the conditions r really horrible. well, it's basically up to fate now so all the best 4 me, myself and everyone around me. at least i ain't feeling so cooped up now...
