Friday, August 06, 2004
Regrets?
amidst all the mindless prep 4 the exams, i have been thinking quite a lot bout my past 4 yrs in zhonghua, bout my whole life, but sad to say, i feel so empty yet again... i may have done respectably academically throughout my whole life, became quite gd at some things while lacking in others but socially my life have been a rout. sure, i do have a gd bunch of friends who had gone through a lot with me but ultimately, i have juz failed.
and i wanna blame some1 4 that, but dunno who to lay all the accusations on. my parents 4 limiting my early childhood life? the singapore education system? juz pure bad luck in kbps in my first three years there without a true fren? yangqin 4 taking up so much of my time (though i muz admit the frenz i met there were precious even though we'd lost contact)? 1/2 e7 for being the crappy, horrible class? teo siew yan 4 her terrible way of taking a class as her form? juz me, myself for my atrocious social skills? the list goes on and on...
looking back, i've been wondering what i've been doing 4 the 16 years. it's like i've juz thrown them away... i've had my chances (memories of my lack of involvement in bball is one of my saddest memories) but it's not that easy taking them... now i juz wonder if i can recoup all these in my jc life. that's y the atmosphere will prob be the most crucial factor in my decision 4 a jc. i roughly know what kinda atmosphere and setting i need to get into the school, so really hoping the open houses will come soon. may i not be disappointed by what i see in them...
and i wanna blame some1 4 that, but dunno who to lay all the accusations on. my parents 4 limiting my early childhood life? the singapore education system? juz pure bad luck in kbps in my first three years there without a true fren? yangqin 4 taking up so much of my time (though i muz admit the frenz i met there were precious even though we'd lost contact)? 1/2 e7 for being the crappy, horrible class? teo siew yan 4 her terrible way of taking a class as her form? juz me, myself for my atrocious social skills? the list goes on and on...
looking back, i've been wondering what i've been doing 4 the 16 years. it's like i've juz thrown them away... i've had my chances (memories of my lack of involvement in bball is one of my saddest memories) but it's not that easy taking them... now i juz wonder if i can recoup all these in my jc life. that's y the atmosphere will prob be the most crucial factor in my decision 4 a jc. i roughly know what kinda atmosphere and setting i need to get into the school, so really hoping the open houses will come soon. may i not be disappointed by what i see in them...
