Thursday, July 29, 2004
Ambition?
after the previous few depressing blogs, it's gd to see the week take a turn for the better, though i can't seem to find anything to blog about those days... today, however, that down, empty feeling's back again and looks like i'm back to blogging... i really dunno y, but i've been feeling this much more than be4. as i say, stress from all the hectic studying and revision i'm doing, but even then...
well, looks like i'm a regular now at the cafe in the library... the guy there actually asked me how i can manage to sleep after drinking coffee every day, so he muz have noticed me go there everyday 4 my cup of latte!!! it's really money wasting, but i'm studying a whole lot and i really enjoy the coffee...
also, been thinking bout my future on the way home... the really future future when i get a job. the programmer dream kinda died down in the recent months and i muz admit it's kinda unrealistic and dangerous to be going into this. moreover, i can't see myself excelling there and everything seemed a li'l abstract now. so with me feeling myself inclined more to maths than science, accounting seem like the reasonable choice (and the only one maths related i might want to work as that i can think of).
however, something's really weird, cos i'm actually contemplating bout being a teacher recently. it started bout half a yr back when i was joking a teacher could be so easy a job seeing how tan soo lan was doing, but now that i think bout it, it is actually a prospect i might want to review. i know i can't and dun wanna handle problem kids, small kids and generally naughty ones but if the classes i teach can be something like what i'm experiencing now, i'm thinking teaching might actually turn out to be an enticing and rewarding experience. i really dunno whether i wanna pursue this path as things could turn out the way i want or totally go haywire, but at least it's a career i kinda understand more clearly than 'vague' jobs like accounting.
also, while thining bout it, i've been reviewing the teachers that had thought me and it's really seems like i'm deciding what kind of teacher i wanna be if i really become one... it's definitely something i might wanna explore... and juz this morning during ss i was joking bout wanting to work in moe if i had to work in civil service to 'mould the future generation'.
they say we should always start with the end in mind, but imo we know too li'l of the possible jobs out there to make an astute choice for now. definitely i'd be working in something i'm better at which narrows it down to maths, science and maybe computing, but i really have no idea what i really wanna be.
nonetheless, a career in science doesn't seem too attractive 4 me now. all those engineering things dun really fascinate me, and though r&d (3M!!!) does seem kinda fun, i dun see myself working rather aimlessly juz hoping 4 that moment of inspiration to produce a breakthrough or something. i juz can't seem to work without a specific victory road or end in mind.
as for computing, the uncertain future is one thing, and really i lack quite a lot to be one of the better people. sure, i may be one of the most tech-savvy in class or maybe even the school now, but i personally think (and i dun think it's too far from reality) that there r so many pple out there much better and well-versed and i juz can't find the time and dedication to devote myself to it.
that leaves me with maths, which as i've mentioned earlier puts me in the path of an accountant or maybe even a teacher. i'd juz have take one step at a time, get into jc, concentrate on my maths (i WILL excel in f maths!) and see if i can see anything more palpable then.
CHEERS!
well, looks like i'm a regular now at the cafe in the library... the guy there actually asked me how i can manage to sleep after drinking coffee every day, so he muz have noticed me go there everyday 4 my cup of latte!!! it's really money wasting, but i'm studying a whole lot and i really enjoy the coffee...
also, been thinking bout my future on the way home... the really future future when i get a job. the programmer dream kinda died down in the recent months and i muz admit it's kinda unrealistic and dangerous to be going into this. moreover, i can't see myself excelling there and everything seemed a li'l abstract now. so with me feeling myself inclined more to maths than science, accounting seem like the reasonable choice (and the only one maths related i might want to work as that i can think of).
however, something's really weird, cos i'm actually contemplating bout being a teacher recently. it started bout half a yr back when i was joking a teacher could be so easy a job seeing how tan soo lan was doing, but now that i think bout it, it is actually a prospect i might want to review. i know i can't and dun wanna handle problem kids, small kids and generally naughty ones but if the classes i teach can be something like what i'm experiencing now, i'm thinking teaching might actually turn out to be an enticing and rewarding experience. i really dunno whether i wanna pursue this path as things could turn out the way i want or totally go haywire, but at least it's a career i kinda understand more clearly than 'vague' jobs like accounting.
also, while thining bout it, i've been reviewing the teachers that had thought me and it's really seems like i'm deciding what kind of teacher i wanna be if i really become one... it's definitely something i might wanna explore... and juz this morning during ss i was joking bout wanting to work in moe if i had to work in civil service to 'mould the future generation'.
they say we should always start with the end in mind, but imo we know too li'l of the possible jobs out there to make an astute choice for now. definitely i'd be working in something i'm better at which narrows it down to maths, science and maybe computing, but i really have no idea what i really wanna be.
nonetheless, a career in science doesn't seem too attractive 4 me now. all those engineering things dun really fascinate me, and though r&d (3M!!!) does seem kinda fun, i dun see myself working rather aimlessly juz hoping 4 that moment of inspiration to produce a breakthrough or something. i juz can't seem to work without a specific victory road or end in mind.
as for computing, the uncertain future is one thing, and really i lack quite a lot to be one of the better people. sure, i may be one of the most tech-savvy in class or maybe even the school now, but i personally think (and i dun think it's too far from reality) that there r so many pple out there much better and well-versed and i juz can't find the time and dedication to devote myself to it.
that leaves me with maths, which as i've mentioned earlier puts me in the path of an accountant or maybe even a teacher. i'd juz have take one step at a time, get into jc, concentrate on my maths (i WILL excel in f maths!) and see if i can see anything more palpable then.
CHEERS!
