Sunday, May 02, 2004
Ohayo Gozaimasu... Ore-wa Kelvin Soh-kun desu
Well, first blog entry... now, here i am, mr kelvin soh, alias lynx... mr boring, serious blah blah blah... wat's there in my life worth blogging bout anyway... juz computer, pc com again and nth else... no social life, crappy relationships and dun dare disclose personal feelings towards...#@$%. well anyway, here i am blogging away bout me, myself and only ME!
Let's be kinda boring (as i have been my whole life) and start bout the usual stuff... life, hobbies, outlook... if u had even bothered to somehow of other stumble into this humble blog of mine, u sure must know a lot bout me, but who cares anyway... a natural pessimist i am, and for me life is nth more than a game cruel, insensitive gods play with where we r juz mere pawns... (hope didn't offend any religious pple here... but what would they be doing anyway?). may i find bliss and satisfaction in life (death?), and may it come soon. bleak, but does the job 4 me.
hobbies, life and schoolwise, have achieved absolutely NOTHING! used to be CO member in primary school and won gold awards, but gave it up 'cos of the mindless emphasis on winning. basketball member in sec sch, but sucked at it and got nowhere (esp with my crap stamina and bad attitude towards training...) we are zone champions and i played no part in tt... how sad... sometimes i wonder if i'd ever find a passion in life (scrabble?)
now, what more to rant? guess on my philosophy (for now)... THIS HOUSE WOULD RATHER BE PATHETIC THAN APATHETIC... AND THE MOTION MUST STAND! (do i hate debate...) throughout my life, all i've have been is trudging on mindlessly, always afraid to follow my heart desires with face and everything... pathetic me... and wow, talk of my wonderful relationships with pple... FRIENDS: 0, nil, null, zero, none... some close acquaintance maybe, but someone i'd be willing to confide into and call friend? nope, sorry (and more on ms ten later) guess i can't go on lyk that and sth needs to change... so i must strive to be pathetic first... no more aaron sim apathy and too careful-minded going on about life but more liberal, out going me... if pple needed, i got lots of advice 4 them... wat is more important is the process, not the result... nvm if u failed if u had at least tried and did ur best... tell urself u have tried and have no regrets... now i gotta use all this advice myself
well, sad to see ms ten leaving as well for the few mnths. o levels coming, and though i really complain a lot bout how boring her lessons are, i can say she's the closest tch to me in zh. other teachers r juz, well, teachers and i'm a student with the only interaction being class and lesson. i might be joking with them, asking them qn, etc, but ultimately, tt's all we do... wonder if we'd even form a bond such tt they would 'member me a yr or two after graduation... well, can't say ms ten will, but all the debating i'd done in the last few yrs really made me see another side of her, different from the boring, systematic approach in class (it's towards the better, though, but well, she's going)... well, guess juz gotta take it in my stride but i dun see things going for the better... my impression of ms aw plumetted down after the ugly incident bout the debate (and all the slandering here and there... i wonder what would have happened if we won the finals...), and tobias didn't seem to be such a gd tch after my lessons with her during sec 2. anyway, can't think of a gd eng tch left in zh... mood swings... bad attitude or juz plain bad teaching... guess shouldn't complain bout ms ten so much...
well, also exam season... long time since i last tried so hard (3 yrs of slacking...), better do well this time... i felt cheated when i got the best in level last yr after how gauging how much i've put in and how much others try, so i hope now that i'm hardworking , at least my results will reflect that and encourage me further, not giving pple who dun even try (cough... a... a... r... cough) the rewards (like they gave me last yr... i was thinking if i thought differently and think that not trying hard will get me rewards, where would that bring me?)... well, have to juz get over and done with it, work hard 4 a mnth (chinese 'o's), and see where that brings me... sometimes i wonder y i try so hard...
Let's be kinda boring (as i have been my whole life) and start bout the usual stuff... life, hobbies, outlook... if u had even bothered to somehow of other stumble into this humble blog of mine, u sure must know a lot bout me, but who cares anyway... a natural pessimist i am, and for me life is nth more than a game cruel, insensitive gods play with where we r juz mere pawns... (hope didn't offend any religious pple here... but what would they be doing anyway?). may i find bliss and satisfaction in life (death?), and may it come soon. bleak, but does the job 4 me.
hobbies, life and schoolwise, have achieved absolutely NOTHING! used to be CO member in primary school and won gold awards, but gave it up 'cos of the mindless emphasis on winning. basketball member in sec sch, but sucked at it and got nowhere (esp with my crap stamina and bad attitude towards training...) we are zone champions and i played no part in tt... how sad... sometimes i wonder if i'd ever find a passion in life (scrabble?)
now, what more to rant? guess on my philosophy (for now)... THIS HOUSE WOULD RATHER BE PATHETIC THAN APATHETIC... AND THE MOTION MUST STAND! (do i hate debate...) throughout my life, all i've have been is trudging on mindlessly, always afraid to follow my heart desires with face and everything... pathetic me... and wow, talk of my wonderful relationships with pple... FRIENDS: 0, nil, null, zero, none... some close acquaintance maybe, but someone i'd be willing to confide into and call friend? nope, sorry (and more on ms ten later) guess i can't go on lyk that and sth needs to change... so i must strive to be pathetic first... no more aaron sim apathy and too careful-minded going on about life but more liberal, out going me... if pple needed, i got lots of advice 4 them... wat is more important is the process, not the result... nvm if u failed if u had at least tried and did ur best... tell urself u have tried and have no regrets... now i gotta use all this advice myself
well, sad to see ms ten leaving as well for the few mnths. o levels coming, and though i really complain a lot bout how boring her lessons are, i can say she's the closest tch to me in zh. other teachers r juz, well, teachers and i'm a student with the only interaction being class and lesson. i might be joking with them, asking them qn, etc, but ultimately, tt's all we do... wonder if we'd even form a bond such tt they would 'member me a yr or two after graduation... well, can't say ms ten will, but all the debating i'd done in the last few yrs really made me see another side of her, different from the boring, systematic approach in class (it's towards the better, though, but well, she's going)... well, guess juz gotta take it in my stride but i dun see things going for the better... my impression of ms aw plumetted down after the ugly incident bout the debate (and all the slandering here and there... i wonder what would have happened if we won the finals...), and tobias didn't seem to be such a gd tch after my lessons with her during sec 2. anyway, can't think of a gd eng tch left in zh... mood swings... bad attitude or juz plain bad teaching... guess shouldn't complain bout ms ten so much...
well, also exam season... long time since i last tried so hard (3 yrs of slacking...), better do well this time... i felt cheated when i got the best in level last yr after how gauging how much i've put in and how much others try, so i hope now that i'm hardworking , at least my results will reflect that and encourage me further, not giving pple who dun even try (cough... a... a... r... cough) the rewards (like they gave me last yr... i was thinking if i thought differently and think that not trying hard will get me rewards, where would that bring me?)... well, have to juz get over and done with it, work hard 4 a mnth (chinese 'o's), and see where that brings me... sometimes i wonder y i try so hard...
