Thursday, May 01, 2008
Hmm...
Sigh... and that's probably the only thing i can do now. the ball's out of my court and all i can do is to hope, pray, fret and whatever. anything but influence anything. know that hopelessly fretting over stuff and thinking of the possibilities and everythign ain't gonna help and i must admit i have done reasonably well to not let it affect me too much but can't shake off that niggling thing at the back of my mind and having something like that over you for the whole day sucks as much as anything... sigh...
i've screwed up big time haha...
it's just those sucky moments. things were going well, maybe even on a roll but just a lapse of concentration, some un-forward thinking and before you know it a bomb appears right in front of you... and with that all the small li'l good things will all go down the drain... it's times like this sometimes you start remembering the tiny positive moments you had, maybe in a vain attempt to try convince others, and yourself above everything else, that perhaps after considering everything it isn't so serious after all... but ultimately the truth is u answer to ur mistakes. u've done it and when consequences needs to be shouldered u must bear the responsibility. and when you're clearly in the wrong and u know it urself there's not much of a defence or even excuse for urself, is there?
well, at least i've been very lucky in my life indeed when it comes to many of those key moments... somehow almost immediately after it i started remembering those tough times. sucky periods but thankfully it was all in the mind... perhaps luck will shine on me again this time. sometimes makes u wonder if this time is the time it all runs out, but oh well... learn from it and let's see how everything goes a day at a time
and it just occured to me that all probably can be summed up in a word. helpless. and my do i hate it
i've screwed up big time haha...
it's just those sucky moments. things were going well, maybe even on a roll but just a lapse of concentration, some un-forward thinking and before you know it a bomb appears right in front of you... and with that all the small li'l good things will all go down the drain... it's times like this sometimes you start remembering the tiny positive moments you had, maybe in a vain attempt to try convince others, and yourself above everything else, that perhaps after considering everything it isn't so serious after all... but ultimately the truth is u answer to ur mistakes. u've done it and when consequences needs to be shouldered u must bear the responsibility. and when you're clearly in the wrong and u know it urself there's not much of a defence or even excuse for urself, is there?
well, at least i've been very lucky in my life indeed when it comes to many of those key moments... somehow almost immediately after it i started remembering those tough times. sucky periods but thankfully it was all in the mind... perhaps luck will shine on me again this time. sometimes makes u wonder if this time is the time it all runs out, but oh well... learn from it and let's see how everything goes a day at a time
and it just occured to me that all probably can be summed up in a word. helpless. and my do i hate it
